feeling frazzled

Discussion in 'General Health & Wellness' started by angelbaby, May 16, 2009.

  1. angelbaby

    angelbaby New Member

    Greetings to all; I found this site seeking some comfort in knowing that i am not alone. I was diagnosed with FM about three or four years ago. I find my short term memory is getting worse which concerns me. Anyway, I'll be blunt, I hate FM and don't understand why me. Why I was the chosen one in so many words. I have read some post and can relate to all of you. People believe you or they don't, it bites. I know I have a hard time at work with FM and fatigue. I'm even wondering how much longer I can work, but like most I have no other choice. My husband keeps talking about FMLA, but unfortunately I work with a company with less than 50 people, I try and tell him we don't have it. He has been on FMLA for some time with his back.

    My job is very repetative and I come home nearly every day in pain, I keep up the best I can at home and work, and when people ask how I'm doing I say "I'm fine" or "I'm o.k." which is a lie. I've never been one to complain but I'm complaining now, this blows. Its a constant cycle with my pain, if I'm lucky I can recope on the weekends, but this hasn't proven to be one of those weekends. My week starts with minimal pain and by wednesday I'm in horrible pain and by friday I'm done for i'm a cry baby. Luckily my husband is understanding, although I really don't think he understands all that is involved with FM. He only understands the pain part.

    I see my doctor this wednesday and I'm going to talk about FMLA and massage therapy and go from there. I can't take it any more. I have a long life a head of me, at least I hope I do, and I need to feel like I used to ten years ago and fear I'll never feel that good again. I want to live my life for me and not have the pain and fatigue live my life for me.

    Today has been rough, feeling down, had terrible brain fog napped for three hours so now I will be up late this evening. I napped hoping to easy some of the pain. No luck, oh well what can you do but take it hour by hour right. I take lyrica, but honestly for $40 a refill it hasn't impressed me, it seems to help me sleep, but that's it. So who knows, all I know is I'm more determined this year than in the past to figure it out, but isn't that what we are all trying to do, is figure out what FM is about and how we can beat it. I'm looking for a cure all and it saddens me that with something like this we don't have a cure all for FM.

    My prayers go out to all who are currently dealing with this. My only fear is if I start doing massage therapy I could loose my job from missing work, so I'll add that to my stressors. I'd love to find another job with better benefits, but now just isn't the time. I know one thing we with FM are probably more in tune with our bodies than most people out there right. Hope everyone is having a comfortable evening will be on here pretty regularly. I'm glad to have found a place I can come to and voice my thoughts without eyebrows being raised.

    so far the only thing that has helped me is rest, rest, rest, when I can get it and lots of hot baths
  2. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    Actually, there is a good Fibro board here and go to the Messages Board and you can locate it. You will find many people with Fibro to talk with you about it.
  3. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    Yes, if you haven't already - definitely go to the Fibro board - tons of people in the same boat!

    A couple of things, do you have to miss work to get a massage? Can you do it on the way home or weekend? I also didn't realize a company had to have 50 people for FMLA - are you sure about that?
    I totally understand about how you feel as the week goes on. Unfortunately for me, when the weekend gets here, I am totally useless. I can't even take naps unless they're at least 2 hrs, if any less, I wake up feeling much worse, in a lot of pain.

    Try not to do the "why me". I know it's hard! but we won't know the answer to that. That's something I've actually never asked. I figure there will be small blessings along the way - I may not always recognize them at the time, but believe they are there. I would also much rather have this than my kids, my husband, or anyone else I loved - it's sort of like taking the "hit" for someone else. I'd rather have it be me. Somehow I'll handle this. I could never however handle watch someone I love go through this.

    Also, mentally it might be better (in my opinion) if you don't wait/look for a cure all. Yes we're all hoping for it (you know it!!), but right now, manage your symptoms, make yourself as comfortable as possible and work on coping skills. that's the best we can do right now.
    They are doing so much research, thank Goodness, that I hope they can figure out what is causing Fibro and then have an effective treatment for us. I believe they will.

    I know how hard it is to work with Fibro - I'm in the same position. Sometimes the weeks are SO long.
    I want to participate in life and right now I feel like I'm watching it go by....

    glad you found this webboard - but like I said, if you haven't already, definitely go to the Fibro board!!
  4. Pippi1313

    Pippi1313 New Member

    You're right. It blows! Around here, we don't have to pretend it doesn't blow! Cool, huh?

    I also put on my "howdy-face" so peeps won't know when things are awful.

    When someone asks how I'm doing, I shrug my shoulders & reply noncommitally with: "Eh, I'll live..."
    I only do this when I want peeps to stop asking, cuz I get tired of lying & saying "fine". (& cuz it surprises peeps, & makes them look at me funny! haha)
    But when the peeps in my life who NEED to know, ask how I'm doing, I'm able to just be honest with them now & let them know whether or not I'm OK.

    Like you, I have wondered "why me?". But the only answer I could think of, was maybe God just doesn't like me very much.
    I can laugh at myself for thinking that, now. But since there's no acceptable answer to the question: "Why me?", I stopped even wondering why.

    I'm glad you're here! This is a good & safe place.