I'm 24 and have had a severe CFS relapse for the last 5 months. First time I got CFS was when I was 17. It lasted 3.5 years and I was in what I call remission for almost 4 years (in reality I was about 85% well). While I was in remission I moved to Australia (from Europe)with my parents and my brother. When we moved here I didn't know anyone so I had to make friends all over again. I made a couple of "close" friends but I never told them that I had CFS. Since I was 85% well, they didn't notice anything. I remember once we were playing basketball and suddenly I started feeling very dizzy and weak and instead of saying I'm feeling unwell, I would make an excuse like "I have to go home now, I promised my brother we would go to the pool" and then I would go and lie down on the nearest park bench where they couldn't see me. I just couldn't tell anyone about my illness. As a result I sort of felt that there is a wall between me and rest of the world. Same was with boyfriends. I dated a lot but never really got close to anyone. Since I had this relapse, I'm basically unable to get out of bed. So since I can't even pretend that I'm well anymore, I have distanced myself from everyone. None of my friends know that I'm sick. I have just stopped calling them and returning their calls. If I have to talk to them I make it really short and say I have to go. Now everyone has stopped calling. I sort of keep expecting that I will get better soon and there is no need to tell anyone. I guess I'm living in denial. Even when I go to a doctor, and talk about my symptoms I tend to minimaze things. I don't do it on purpose it just comes out that way. So my mum has started going with me to make sure they know the full story. I'm still at the stage where I just can't accept that I will probably always have CFS. This feeling of isolation is really hard but I don't even know how would I explain having CFS to anyone, especially to people who have never heard of it. Also it scares me to think that I will not be able to have a career I dreamed of, never get married and have a family... I just don't know what is the right way to deal with all this.