Feeling lonely and lost

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by kat211, Mar 28, 2010.

  1. kat211

    kat211 New Member

    Hi all. I am having a hard time right now. I'm not hurting to bad from the fibro and I have energy thanks to the generic ritalin, but I am feeling so lonely and lost.

    I woke up excited because I could take the bandage off of my thumb (I cut it halfway down and though the fingernail-It is really bad) and it wasn't hurting too bad. So, I started to clean house. I mean REALLY clean. I have scrubbed the stainless steel so it actually looks like stainless steel, instead of big dog slobber and kid prints. I am also doing laundry. I am actually folding it and putting it away instead of letting it pile up somewhere. I was feeling really great about myself.

    Then it hit me like a ton of books. The dryer vent hose came loose and started spraying lint into the house. I turned off the dryer and just stared at it and started crying. It hit me that I am completely alone. If the dryer started a fire I wouldn't have anyone to stay with or anyone to talk to about it. I really have no one to call.

    I am estranged from my alcoholic and abusive family. My father actually left me a voicemail last week calling me all sorts of names. I am going to file a police report and have all known numbers he could call me from blocked from calling me. It is so bad I am actually considering changing my and my son's names.

    So here I am. Alone in a house that I am having to sue the people I bought it from because of mold. A house I never would have bought if I knew my ex-husband was going to, well, be a big lying sack of jerk. An unemployed single mother of 1 kid, 2 giant dogs, a puppy, and two kittens. With bills stacked sky high thanks to the jerk.

    Sorry for my rant. I am just feeling really lonely and lost right now.
  2. 3gs

    3gs New Member

    Hi Kat

    Iam so sorry you are having a rough time. It sounds like you are overwhelmed. All it takes is that one thing to crumble you. even a stupid dryer hose.

    You are doing an awesome job. wow a kid,2 dogs,puppy and kittens?! Thats alot to handle. Needless to say you did the right thing in blocking your phone. Inexcusable from your dad.

    do you have any friends or neighbors to help? The mold thing doesnt sound good,that could affect your health. There are places to get help call 211(hopefully its in your area). Also ck out the housing authority,you may qualify for help with house.

    rant all you want. we all are lost or lonely at times.
  3. kat211

    kat211 New Member

    The last friend I really had dumped me when I was at my worst and couldn't commit to actually going out. She was so negative about everything that it wasn't really a big deal.

    I haven't really had time to make new friends because I have been busy with my son and my career over the past few years. Oh, well, nothing can compare to the time I have spent with my son and the bond we have.

    I have had a mold inspection and the portion of the house that has the toxic mold has been sealed off until the sellers pay up and the construction begins. I'm sure I will have to move for a while, but at least I will know my house is being made safe. I have had both my son and myself checked by the dr and they don't think we have been effected.

    I did just get some good news. I have a 99.5% in my current accounting graduate class! It really lifted my spirits. Evidently I have the highest grade in the class. HAHA! I just want to say, "I have a brain injury and fibro fog, what's your excuse?"

    Crap, now my ex-husband and his mother are here. Time to put on a smile for the kid and his soccer game.
  4. 3gs

    3gs New Member

    congrats on the 99.5% wow that is awesome. give yourself a pat on the back!

    glad to hear you had inspection and its going to be corrected. also that you and son cked out ok.

    Many of us have friends and families that have cked out. this dd is a challenge.
    hope u enjoyed the game and kudos for u putting on a smile for your son.

    take care
  5. AuntTammie

    AuntTammie New Member

    just wanted to send you some {{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

    you're in my thoughts & prayers
  6. quanked

    quanked Member

  7. rocky76

    rocky76 Member

    "I have a brain injury and fibro fog, what's your excuse?"

    Make your saying into a T SHIRT.... wear it to school and around your ex hubby.....

    Also I lived in a house full of hidden mold...not a fun thing to go through...

    Did you buy this house thru a Realtor....you might want to bring the office into this lawsuit....
  8. June

    June New Member

    I am sorry that things are going bad for you.

    Once I was not feeling real good and was putting things in the freezer from my MIL's garden.
    I had a bussel of peas to shell and put up and I just started crying like you did. I finally got thru the chore, but it took me about 3 days. Sometimes we just get overwhelmed.

    I got thru it and you will too.
    You are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Big Hugs,