feeling sad and low very lost and confused

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Apr 22, 2003.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I thought I was at least going in the right direction I had a job and though it was very hard for me standing for 7 hours minus breaks ,I would come home from work and lay on the bed in such pain and exahustion that blinking hurt to much and was to much effort. I was called into the managers office oast week and informed that I was among the staff that were being let go becasue of workforce reduction. I was told ddon't take this personally but you just can't keep up with the rest of the staff but it has been nice to know you . Now just go right ondown tojob service and find another job with your qulifications it should not be hard thaks so much and don't let the door hit you in the butt as you go ok that part wat not said but I felt like it was. All I asked for was a stool so that when the fitting room was slow I could sit but that was not to be. So once again I am looking for ajob , with a husband wanting a divorce and for me to have a job so that I can move out and he can get on with his life. I on the other hand am still morning the loss of my MIL and this sudden information that my husband is not happy and that I am using my fibro to get out of working and living life. My daughters don't understand why I don't wake up in the morning and whay can't I be more like the mothers of thier friends. I am so tired and feel like no matter what I do to improve me and tryong to make this marriage work I am failing big time. In fact I am the only one who wants to save it becasue my husband of 22 years Knows that it is over and most of the problems are my fault because I can't handle moneya and I constanly am going tothe doctor running up medical bills that are not needed becasue if I would not dwell on the pain I would be better. You know he thinks that I can turn the fibro in and off and he does not get it the fibro is not the only reason that I am in pain all the time try having 2 buldging discs L4-5 and arthitis in bith knees who are disentrgrating and in less that 5 years I wil need new ones but I don't have the money nor will he pay for medical bills now and past one so why would he pay for future ones. Yes I do finnally get it that I am making him unhappy and I ahve failed at being a wife like he wanted I know that I am dreaming when I think that I can save my marriage when he has allready been to a lawyer. Lets face it I am just a failure at life I take my meds just like I am told to do and they still don't work I am soo stress and tears are so close So I am off to bed now thnks rosemarie
  2. Solstice

    Solstice New Member

    Oh my I sure can feel the emotional pain you are experiencing.

    All I can say is that it is so devastating to have these illnesses and it is so unfair.

    I wonder if you can see a counselor......I know that is more money, but do you have insurance that would cover it?

    You are dealing with so much at once, and I hope you can get some support from someone.

    We here can give it to you as well, but I think it would be best if you could talk to someone there too.

    I hope things look better for you soon.

    Caring,

  3. rigby

    rigby New Member

    I know how you feel I feel as if I'm a failure I can't work my disability insurance will not pay so our income is half and boy do the bill collector want there money I can't see my grandchildren as i would like to tired dx with CFS in 1994 got better now I have fibromyalia no one see us as sick I'm being told by my family if I would get out I would feel better. Have been trying to get a hold of my old job so I can cash in my 401K TO HELP WITH BILLS AND NEED LAWYER FOR MY INSURANCE Job will not return calls and so hard to drive. I did go see a therapist for depression she has help but no one understands the pain we look to good to be sick. Went to doctor after my sister fussed with me my chest hurt and I couldn't breath for like 2 weeks my pulse was 120 and BP 180/102 at least something showed up for once. You need a therapist and antidepression I was ready to kill myself because I felt so sad and hurt. rigby
  4. kerrymygirl

    kerrymygirl New Member

    Don`t you just hate that saying, no 1 ever said life would be easy. We sure did not expect it to be like this when we think of the way we dreamed it would be. When I got divorced I heard it is the explosion of the dream that really hits you. You know growing old together the rocking chair on the porch talking about our kids and lives. You are not at fault or a failure. Most women think that sick or not when the marriage fails. It is for better or worse,sickness & health. It is him who failed, he can not handle your illness. Something you CAN NOT help. We all run from doc to doc for the cure. I too have alot of cervical damage,bulges.disc,degenerative dis,arthritis,spondylosis,fm,mps,lyme,high ebv. A walking merck manual. Unfortunately we live in a throw away quick fix society and we are not a quick fix so sometimes I feel from others it is easier just to throw us away. That is why a support group can be important. Do you have 1 near? Also if you know he has been to a lawyer, please start protecting yourself and assests now,trust me you WILL need them. I made a mistake and gave up too much thinking I would make it up. Check out any retirement,& get him to cover your medical. I know it is all overwhelming but it sounds like he is taking care of himself right now and not you.. Please in the times you can get the strength to start. You have alot to deal with alot of us have been there. Quit blaming yourself,a real man would stand by you after 22 yrs. My mom had 1 and I did not I saw the diff. Sweet Huggss, keep in touch.
  5. LynneH

    LynneH New Member

    You are going through a very emotional time right now...talking about a divorce you don't want! I went through the same thing and it's not fun, but you will get through it and be ok.
    You have been married long enough to require him to pay spousal support, in addition to the child support. You are entitled to half of everything he has, including his retirement. Whatever you do, do not settle for anything less. If he wants out of the marriage, let him be the one who moves out. Why should you have to be uprooted? You have to get strong, girl and think about this like you KNOW you deserve any good thing that comes your way.

    About that job...with bulging discs and arthritic knees, retail is the last thing you want to do. If you are going to have to work, find something where you are not on your feet all day. That job was a disaster waiting to happen for you. It's probably a blessing in disguise that they let you go before you did more damage to your back and knees.

    Good luck to you.
    LynneH
  6. Betsy2

    Betsy2 New Member

    Rosemarie,

    I know just what you are going through. I was married for 22 years and just went through a divorce last year. It took three years of therapy before I finally had my head together enough to realize my self worth. It was only then that I decided I didn't need a man who was verbally abusive, unloving and cheated consistently. Had I not sought therapy I may not be typing this today. I beg you to see a therapist, psychiatrist and an attorney. It is too hard to deal with this DD and an unhappy relationship.
    You know we are here for you. Please know that my prayers are with you.
  7. jamedw1

    jamedw1 New Member

    call me old fashion...
    call me finally all grown up...

    but committment is a bond... supposedly for life...
    caring for a person you love is a privelege, not a job...
    being needed is as important as being loved...

    and being in pain just plain sucks...

    we live in a time where compassion is secondary to profits...
    where getting out of something is easier than getting into it...
    where time and patience seems to be a luxury rather than the norm...

    my heart is dedicated to only one person...
    but it goes out to each and every one of you...

    you all deserve so much better... some have it, but unfortunately so many dont...

    it is for those unfortunate that i pray the most for...

    i still don't get it...
    maybe someday i will...

    G H and the such...
    ed

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