Feeling so sorry for myself, I wish I could...

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by lookingoutthewindow, Feb 16, 2007.

  1. lookingoutthewindow

    lookingoutthewindow New Member

    I have been in a slump all day and I can't pick myself up. I am telling people at work I have allergies and fuzz in my eye. I am facing another long lonely weekend and all I want to do is cry. I sent this to a friend recently. I guess after 30 yrs. she still doesn't get me or the sick joke. I know I am sick and sometimes I have to be right down morbid.

    This is how I feel today:

    My life has changed drastically in the past few years.

    I wish I could...tell you how hard it is for me.
    I wish I could...be more social.
    I wish I could...feel confident enough to make plans.
    I wish I could...keep friends and lovers.
    I wish I could...get up in the morning and know I can do what I want.
    I wish I could...know I am loved regardless of my frustrated angry self.
    I wish I could...feel the love others say they have for me.
    I wish I could...see a light bright enough to warm me, but not hurt my eyes.
    I wish I could...be held tightly and not feel pain.
    I wish I could...lay down and know I will sleep (or not wake up).
    I wish I could...know what I have done to deserve this disease

    Lookingoutthewindow--me.

    The following was sent to me and I am passing it on to you guys. I know you know what it is like to have a sickly friend. To make things quick, follow the advice of a friend of mine: (she is hilarious).


    How To Kill A Sick Friend
    Sue Klaus
    Sometimes having a sick friend is such a drag. They always need something. Sometimes they're weepy, and they complain all the time. But there are ways to get rid of this nuisance once and for all. The object is to "dump the whiner." So, just follow these helpful steps:
    Never, ever call them. And don't return their calls. Even if they are still occasionally calling you, they're so sick that they will lose their momentum and eventually stop. After all, even if they listen to your problems, you certainly don't want to hear theirs.
    Be harsh with them; say mean and spiteful things, especially when they seem vulnerable. Remember, even if they were there for you in the past, the idea is to get rid of them now. The sick and afraid are particularly sensitive to cruelty, and the more you use, the better.
    Write them out of your life - don't tell them about social events, especially parties you are holding. And if they actually try to have one themselves, don't show up, and don't RSVP. That way they'll be wondering if you are coming right up to the very last of the party.
    Never invite them to join you for lunch, or a concert or a show. That would only make them think you cared.
    Never call just to say hi and see how they're doing. And never ask them if they need anything at the store when you go.
    These techniques will definitely kill them, one way or another. They will definitely kill the friendship; and even if they don't kill physically, psychological, emotional or spiritual murder also counts. If they had the nerve to go and get sick, it's not your problem.
    Remember, some sick people have some hope that anyone cares. These are the toughest, so you must remember to stick with it. Don't let them wear you down, and whatever you do, don't break down and care. You'll never get rid of them that way.


    I am having an extremely difficult flare and don't wish to burden a soul. I have learned to sit quitely and think little.

    All I have,

    Johnna



    [This Message was Edited on 02/16/2007]
  2. bewell4

    bewell4 New Member

    i hear your misery...
    thank you for that story, it really made me laugh. i often feel like those around me have read it and are putting it into effect!

    (i know, really, that people are just busy with their own stuff, and ignorant, but it is still hard not feel hurt and lonely).

    well, i just want to offer to you that i am so darn cranky! i think* that i should be more graceful about my illness, i should* find someway to be completely self-sufficient, but for some odd reason, it is a new and at the same time compounded agony every day!

    i recently heard a radio show, where the doctor said something like "one thing people don't recognize is that loneliness is a type of suffering, and people in chronic pain frequently have the added challenge of this* suffering" (on top of the mind-numbing pain and all the dozen other frustrations!!)

    i hope it helps a little that i am genuinely sorry for your suffering. i think i understand!

    i wish i could organize and fund a system to bring food, massage, medicine, sunshine, pain-relief, company, and whatever needed to people suffering! i would send someone right over for you!

    i keep reading posts here, and trying to absorb any positive attitude and searching like mad for a silver lining to this condition!!

    so far, pretty much whenever i really think about my situation, i just want to curl up in a little ball and cry like a baby!

    ummm...errr..is this helping lift you from your slump?!? (eye roll, lol). ah, well..hopefully the thought counts, heh? :)
  3. momof471

    momof471 New Member

    Must be something in the air this week. I'm normally in much happier(?)spirits, but this week has really been dificult. This has been a pajama week and its been awhile since I've done that. Unfortunately, I think some family members practice what you put on here as well as friends. Fortunately, I have one good friend whom I've known since I was 14, she knows the many things I've been through in this life. We email each other daily and she has been taking the brunt of things this week from me. I'm thankful for that. Even though she hasn't been able to talk me out of my funk this week! Her mother has fibro so she can somewhat relate. I'm sending you good vibes and even though things look really dismal right now, I pray you'll see things in a better light soon.

    God Bless
  4. lookingoutthewindow

    lookingoutthewindow New Member

    I'm glad you guys can see the humor. Sometimes it's hard to laugh, but I keep doing it anyway!! It has helped to read your replies, I know you know where I am coming from. It is sad, but many of my friends have "secretly" read this and are using it. After reaching out so many times it's hard to keep a relationship going. Just coming to terms with this IS a lonely process. There are good friends out there and I have found out who they are. I guess it is true, there is something good that comes from every situation. I am not crying and I made through another weekend. I think I may plan a trip soon before the baby gets too close. (I am going to be a grandma soon!)

    God Bless You All!

    I think our disease would kill the average person!!!

    Love to All,

    Johnna