Feeling so stupid

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by SweetT, Sep 28, 2007.

  1. SweetT

    SweetT New Member

    If you check out my profile, I am doing alot, perhaps too much. But I am doing the things with an objection in mind. I hate my job but haven't been able to find one that pays at least the same. They refuse to promote me further on my job. I want to change careers to get a better job, so I'm in school. I know that my body cannot tolerate moving around my job all day and then sitting up and participating in someone's class, so I take online courses. I have the same mindbending homework and assignments, but without the hassle of listening to a professor lecture. The "lecture" is powerpoint notes. The "class participation" is logging on and posting on the Discussion Board.

    Anyway, on top of that, I was picking my youngest daughter up from games after work. After work, I need to go home and climb in bed. Yes, I can do my homework in bed, with my laptop. For those of us with these dd's, one more thing is all it takes to mess us up. Well, my daughter's ongoing disobedient and vindictive behavior made me pull her off of the team, so now my body is so wound up that it's hard for me to get rest.

    Yesterday, at work, I was dosing at my desk and about to powder my nose and then go walk around, when I spilled my makeup (mineral foundation powder) all over my beige-colored skirt! I used my Tide To go stick, but on beige, the stain was still there. I hoped that I wouldn't get a walk-in client or that a meeting wouldn't be called.

    As I'm typing now, I'm so tired that I think I'll pass out. I'm so sleepy that I have a headache from not being able to close my eyes.

    I have no paid time left. And if I leave early, all of the overtime that I worked for Comp. Time (when I was killing time before picking up my daughter) will just be straight time. Yes, I have FMLA and ADA accommodations, but that's not paid, and I need money.

    I guess I now need to keep a change of clothes on the job :) Well, also, with my "female problems" (another post), a change of clothes is not a bad idea.

    Thing is, my body rarely wants to go to sleep before midnight. I need to work part-time, from about 10:30am to 3:30pm. That would be a perfect working schedule for me. The kids leave out so early, so that would break my sleep, but I'd still have time to sleep a little more before having to get up.

    This is the last week of overtime. Over the summer, I was too tired to work overtime to build up more time. And when I would do it, I'd wind up taking 1-2 days off the next week. I really need to take some time off while I'm on vacation from school (from mid-December to mid-January).

    Okay, I'll stop rambling. I just want to climb in bed and stay there for a couple of days, and then for a few more days, not leave home.
  2. alaska3355

    alaska3355 New Member

    about the bad day. And a beige skirt, too. Is it washable?

    It sounds like you have a lot on your plate, trying to work and do your distance learning as well. It sounds like you need a week off, but the finances won't allow it. I hope you could consider working part-time- I think it would be better for your health.

    Take care of yourself and get some rest!
  3. kellyann

    kellyann New Member

    So sorry you are having a rough time of it. I so hate it when I get that tired. It is an awful feeling isn't it?

    Well, I wish you lots of luck on your online courses! I hope it gets you the results you wish for. Nothing ventured, nothing gained!

    I really think it's great that you are able to do so much! I know it comes at a great price to your body and health though. Just try to take care of yourself as much as you can!

    Jesus loves you and so do I!

  4. Doober

    Doober New Member

    You should never feel stupid because you are doing the best you can.

    There are better things to be stupid about and the makeup thing is an accident.

    Stupid is more for something like trying to take hard boiled eggs out of the pot with your bare hands while the water is still boiling. Now that's stupid.

    Accidents are accidents and stupidity is, well stupidity.

  5. SweetT

    SweetT New Member

    Thanks to all that responded.

    The main thing that gets to me is working full-time. Perhaps if my job weren't so stressful (impossible caseloads plus fighting off management and coworkers' immature, bullyihg behavior), that wouldn't be. Thing is, before starting school, I'd come in from work after reruns and after preparing dinner, thinking, "if I can watch reruns, I can take one class at a time!" While I didn't figure in the additional cognitve strains of graduate school, it was an okay idea in theory. I wanted a light at the end of the tunnel of my dead-end job.

    Then working and logging on to class and doing homework from bed became unachieveable just with my daughter joining a sports team. I thought that I would do homework while waiting to pick her up from games, but knowing that I couldn't just jump in bed and stay there, after a stressful day of work was too much for me.

    I'm going to try to find a class that the girls and I can take on Saturdays (art or exercise), that would give us a guaranteed way of getting in recreation and spending time together. When I can plan for events, they are alot less stressful.