Feeling sorry for myself

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Andrea4, Oct 13, 2005.

  1. Andrea4

    Andrea4 New Member

    I am just sitting here crying....feeling sorry for myself. My body is screaming in pain nearly all the time now. There's always so much to do with dh gone all the time and my 2 small kids. I haven't been sleeping well at all because anxiety is keeping me up. Our money situation sucks and I am trying so hard to help where I can (selling on Ebay) but my body hurts so much, i can't sit for long. My tremors get so bad I can't put together any of my pieces (I make jewelry) and some of them have to be re-done because I was shaking and couldn't line thig sup properly.

    I feel so small, so pathetic, so weak and useless. I feel the walls closing in on me and I just sit here and cry which is stupid because I have sooo much to do...I don't have time to be sitting here. I am sure I'll snap out of this at some point...I hope...but for now, I am just crying.
  2. hoodnanny

    hoodnanny New Member

    i have been there and sometimes still there...i can really attest to how you feel. i wish i had words to comfort you and make it all go away..i am not good at wording things, but maybe it is just a flare up for the time being...has it been going on long..do you have a doctor to help you and are you on medicine..if so what kind...
    when you say you feel so useless and all i have felt the same way...i have always been hyper and worked.worked, and worked...now i do good to get half hour work done in one day.....here lately not doing the things i loved doing is taking its tole on me to.....i want to cry, but i cant....it just wont come..so i know how you feel..i just wished i and all of us had an answer....just to get through one day without pain....
    this letter does not help your situation any, but i just want you to know we care for you...and i hurt for you to..
    i hope that others here can help you more than i did. i read your letter and it hit home so very much.....here is hoping a good afternoon and more peace , and less pain

    with warm regards.......shirley
  3. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    You need some hugs and you also need to just cry and let it out. You know you'll get better sometime, but don't feel bad about crying.

    AND, if you are raising two small children, taking care of a house and making jewelry to sell, you are certainly not pathetic, weak or useless!I assumed that small meant you are a small person! (-: You are a super woman to have this DD and do all that. I am so grateful I was older when all this hit.

    I do pray you can sleep well tonight. Take care of yourself!

    Sue

  4. nanna4550

    nanna4550 New Member

    There is nothing wrong with crying. Sometimes when I need to cry, I just can't and I think it is a good thing to just get it out. There is a lot of grief and loss with this disease, just the loss of the ability to sleep is bad enough, it makes it hard to deal with everything.
    You are worth more than what you do, just looking at your small children will tell you that. You are blessed to have them to love, and being a mom is the most important thing you will do. Do for yourself what you would do for one of your children if they didn't feel well. You will feel better soon.
    Prayers and Hugs, Nanna
  5. Jen102

    Jen102 New Member

    you seem that you are overwhelmed. i don't have any advice, but i feel your pain and hope things get better. Jen
  6. pirtpain

    pirtpain New Member

    I can't believe that you handle 2 kids and try to juggle everything else too. I know about the days that you feel like giving up on life cuz you don't think you will ever survive. Is your dr. prescribing any pain meds or is this one of the times where it just rufuses to work? Maybe you need something stronger. Do you take anything for your anxiety? Xanax is really good. It doesn't space you out or anything. How long have you had fm? Sorry for all the questions? HANG IN THERE!!!

    PIRT
  7. Pianowoman

    Pianowoman New Member

    One of the awful things about FM is that it takes away our ability to feel productive. You are not alone!!! Many of us have bad days and need to vent our feelings. I'm glad you found this place where people understand.

    You will have better times. One of my friends always says "this too shall pass!" It sounds like you need to get some better pain relief. Can you see your Doctor soon?

    In the meantime, remember that you are not useless. You are warm and caring and you have 2 great kids! You are doing the best you can.

    Take Care.

    Kathy.
  8. Andrea4

    Andrea4 New Member

    thank you for all of the support. i just feel so low. the only meds i am taking right now are meds for my asthma, zoloft, baby aspirin daily, multi vitamin and 1500 extra calcium a day. the doc wanted me to use Trazadone, but #1 i can't afford it and #2 i didnt think it a good idea to be zonked out with 2 small kids alone with me. I've gotten those steriods shots and they help only for an hour or so, so i dont get them anymore. no pains meds for the same reason i dont take the trazadone - money and safety.

    when i was able to do the PT, chiro, massage, light aerobics and biofeedback, i felt the best. But, since our savings is gone and the ins is crappy, i cant do those things anymore.

    i am trying to get my kids to go to bed right now and of course its a night where they dont want to....when i really need the break. <sigh>
  9. Andrea4

    Andrea4 New Member

    Hey Kate...nice to see a fellow jewelry maker. Where do you get your beads from? I order mostly from Fire Mountain because they have such a selection and fast shipping. What kinds of things do you make?
  10. Andrea4

    Andrea4 New Member

  11. abbylee

    abbylee New Member

    You have a lot of responsibility and you're sick. What an awful situation to be in.

    And life is not fair. Don't worry a bit about feeling sorry for yourself. I frequently have pity parties, and I'm one of the best at feeling sorry for myself. I can feel much sorrier for me than anyone else can, and I do an excellent job of it when I need to.

    In fact, I had a pity party here on the group a year or so ago and you'd be surprised at how many came (posted). The party was a great success and we all felt sorry for ourselves for several hours.

    In all serious, it's normal to feel sorry for yourself from time to time. Heck, you have good reason! Just think of all of the folks who feel sorry for themselves and they don't have nearly the problems you have.

    You know that this will pass, so cry as hard as you can - get it all out - and when you're feeling better you can pick up the pieces and put them back together. There's plenty of time for that.

    We're here for you if you need some company, so hang in there and let us know what we can do to help.

    abbylee
  12. Muddieanne

    Muddieanne New Member

    I feel for you. If you don't have a prescription insurance plan,can you take ibuprofen? It is the same as Motrin but less expensive.

    Another thought: is there a family member who would pay for prescriptions for pain for you? Would a parent be able to? Do people close to you know how much you are hurting?

    Sometimes we have to ask for what we need--the worst that could happen is getting a no answer.

    Please treat yourself as kindly as you would treat someone you love who was in pain.

    Warmest thoughts to you. Marie
  13. SoxFan

    SoxFan New Member

    It must be so hard for you with a husband who travels a lot. How old are the kids? Do you get a chance to rest during the day if they are old enough for school or young enough to still nap? Try to take some comfort in the fact that your family needs you and loves you.
  14. nancydr

    nancydr New Member

    I can definitely sympathize with how your body feels. You are not pathetic, weak, and useless. You are having a lapse. We all do. Sometimes we need to just sit down, and take a break. Don't worry about the house. It will be there tomorrow. Have a good cry and let the kids know "Mommy" doesn't feel well, and kids will rally around their Mom. I will keep you in my prayers. Keep us posted. We need to support each other.
  15. Aberlaine

    Aberlaine Member

    Andrea,
    Your doctor feels that you either need more sleep or that you're depressed (or both). And I agree with him.

    I've taken trazodone for many years. As a matter of fact, it's the first antidepressant I took. Now I take it just before bedtime and I get about 5 hours of solid sleep. I know it worries you that you'll be zonked out and not hear your children, but trust me, you're not that zonked. I've been wakened by the sound of the phone ringing after I took the trazodone.

    Also, trazodone is a generic and is cheap. Even without insurance, I think the cost is about $5.00 for 30 pills (75 mgs.)