feeling totally overwhelmed!

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by Dulcimerkid, Sep 2, 2004.

  1. Dulcimerkid

    Dulcimerkid New Member

    Hi!
    I have not psted much on this board yet. I would like all who can pray for me for strength and guidance and peace. My 18 year old son is rude mean and lazy. No one wants him in the house becasue he acts like a selfish brat. He graduated from high school 6-04 and didn't really work the whole summer. He smokes and drinks and we know he smokes pot also. He finally got a job yesterday and we are making him pay room and board to live at home to try and teach him responsiblity. but he is making us misable with that. All he does is swear and yell. My knees are going to wear out from praying!!!! I could use some support. We love him just not how he's behaving. He gave his heart to Christ at 14 but he hasn't been living for Christ for awhile.
    The stress is causing me pain and migraines.
    Thank you!!!!
    Laurie
  2. Dulcimerkid

    Dulcimerkid New Member

    Hi Dixie,
    Yes my husband is supportive but his health is not good either, He was diagnosed 3 years ago with Multiple Sclerosis and went on disablity shortly after diagnosed. so I had to go back to work full time, my 14 year old daughter and 16 year old son have accept the changes over the last 3 years much better than their older brother.
    Thank you for helping me see things alittle different.
    My parents live next door and my mom is supportive but at the some tiem she makes me feel guity that I might throw her first grandchild out of his home. My step dad would probably help move him out if mom would go along with it.
    I am trying to set guide lines for him to continue living here but have not finished them ( they work better in writing)
    Thanks for the prayer support!
    Laurie
  3. dash

    dash New Member

    I understand your stress and pain. The oldest of my four children and backslidden, and far from home. We had to tell her to move out, after struggling with her and her problems for years.

    We love her, but can't accept her lifestyle. It hurts so much, but our household is so much more peaceful without her living with us.

    She knows the Lord, and knows her Bible, but cannot give up the stuff that has her in bondage. All we can do is pray.

    Dear Lord,

    I thank you that Laurie has asked for prayer concerning her son. In her request, you have brought to my mind my own child. I know that it is only by persistent prayer that we can affect their lives. I ask that Your Holy Spirit convict both of these children to turn back to You.

    Send Christians into their lives to sew the Word of God. Give them courage to repent and return to You. Show us how to minister to them. Keep them safe despite their actions. Encourage us to continue to pray, even when it seems that prayer is ineffective.

    I pray these things in Jesus' name,
    Della
  4. PrayerWarrior316

    PrayerWarrior316 New Member

    My heart goes out to you, I know that this situation is very stressful for you and your husband.

    I will certainly be praying for you.

    Blessings, Judy <a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/17/17_1_22.gif' border=0></a>
  5. craziC

    craziC New Member

    I too was one of those out of control teens when I was growing up. I did some really awful things. But there's a verse in the Bible that really opened my eyes.

    It's in Matthew 18:10-14
    "A Lost Sheep"
    Be careful. Don't think these little children are worth nothing. I tell you that they have angels in heaven who are always with my Father in heaven.
    If a man has a hundred sheep but one of the sheep gets lost, he will leave the other ninety-nine on the hill and go to look for the lost sheep. I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that were never lost. In the same way, your Father in heaven does not want any of these little children to be lost"

    These verses helped me to realize that the Lord cares SO much for me. That when I was lost, He earnestly sought me. He reached out for me, He looked for me. And He was pleased when I was found.

    Do not give up hope, our Father is with your son. He will protect him!

    Hugs,
    Crazi
  6. grge

    grge New Member

    We as parents love our children sooo much and we want only good things for them and that their lives be blessed.

    You help your child most by teaching them to meet their own needs as adults. I know how hard it is(been there done that)
    but unless he learns responsibility and accountability now, he will most likely be dependent on you for many years to come.

    I pray in the name of Jesus that He touch your entire family and form a hedge of protection around you. I ask in Jesus name that you will find the direction , answers and
    support you need.
    georgia
    [This Message was Edited on 09/03/2004]
  7. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    Hhis is a hard age to have your kids especially if they don`t know what they want to do with their life. I have a 21 year old step-daughter and we had similiar problems. She has finally deceided to take some businness courses to better herself.

    Don`t give up, he`ll grow up. The sooner he gets out of your house the better and the faster he will grow up. If he gets in trouble don`t bail him out. Make him face the music and he will change real quick.

    Hugs and prayers,
    Sandy
  8. Dulcimerkid

    Dulcimerkid New Member

    Dear Dixie, Della, Judy, Pat, Crazi, Georgia and Sandy,
    Thank you so much for responding to prayer request.
    It means so much to me to know that we are being lifted up in prayer by other believers. My husand and are making a list for our son, and are going to let him know if he feels he can not follow the rules he must find another place to live. Our youth director has talked to Billy but he is a master at telling people what they want to hear. He did that when we went for counselling. He already thinks it's terrible we want room and board from him, so if we have ground rules with it he may decide to leave anyways. I will keep you all posted on what happens in the coming weeks. and again thank you for your support it means more than you know!!!!
    Love in Christ
    our Precious Savior,
    Laurie
  9. Frinkie

    Frinkie New Member

    We as mothers must learn to shut our mouths. When a child is grown up and does not act like it, it is time to let go of trying to parent. You cannot change him or his ways, he will have to do that. But he will do it quicker if you do all you can to respect him, and speak kindly to him in a kind tone of voice, even if he does not deserve it from his behavior. It will be one baby step at a time...He may need help in adjusting to accepting responsibility. Start by asking him, not telling him.The Bible says, "Provoke not your children to anger as much as it says Honor they father and they mother. This is your child, but he must feel respected by his family to bring honor to his family. Learning to bite your tongue may be the answer, even though it is your home, he evidently feels it is his too and wants your acceptance as an adult. His age is working against him...he is still quite young. Graduating was a first step. Ask him what his plans are now, and do all you can to help him in any way you can. Do not be reactionary to him, because you are teaching him to be reactionary to you. Be calm, patient and tell him no drugs or he will have to find a new place to live. Tell him kindly what is unacceptable to you...one thing at a time, and give him a day or two to think it over. Instant is for pudding, not for children, "grown" or not. You are not the child, so I am sounding unkind here but I do not mean to.
    Dear Lord, Help Laurie in her process of growing away from her son and help her allieviate his fears that are causing him distress. Help her know that the answers lie in common sense and to keep it simple in dealing with frustration. Maybe the military is the answer for this young man. Maybe higher education... but he needs to find his niche. Discipline may be the answer but Laurie is not in a position anymore to provide for this, she can only help him find his way by leaving him alone and letting his head clear so he can find his way. Help her cope and to know when enough is enough and how to stand up for the sanctity of her home. Amen.
    [This Message was Edited on 09/04/2004]