Felt like I could fall alseep

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Jul 26, 2010.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    last night was the first night in months that i felt like I could just crawl in to my bed and sleep.
    But it didn't work out that way. I went to bed around 10:30pm becasuess I was doozing in my chair. as soon as i got in to bed I was WIDE awake, no sleepiness at all. I laid there trying to sleep but I could not lay still. I gave up after an hour of laying in the bed trying not to wake up my hubby.
    I wanted This not sleeping started lsat year when my dh was laid off from workto feel like I was normal again , to sleep in my own bed beside my DH but that is not going to ever happen or so it seems. Last yr my famly life changed in a flash. one moment I could fall alseep beside my GH and sleep 90 % of the night. We had a water bed , it had holes in it and was losing water, so it saged and evrey time I went to bed to sleep my DH woke up. So I stopped sleeping in the bed. It was not a great year as DH lost his job and our lives changed. Now I don't have the home I lved in for 20+ yrs as we could not pay the house payment. The leaky water bed has been replaced by a inner spring mattress . I heped pick it out , it felt so good in the store but once we got it to our new rented house I sleep in it durng the early morning hours and wake up with my back acheing.

    I just want my life to be normal again, where I can sleep with my hubby and sleep all night. I tried so hard last night to sleep in my bed only to get up so that I would not wake my hubby.

    Ihave too many stresses in my life right now, people don't listen when I tell them that I don't want to go to curch because of the crying babies , yelling children and parents who don't take them out. The noise from the lights and mic sound so loud in my ears like some one is popping some thing , the noise gets to be painfull so I walk out and leave . AFter sitting in church for an hour I start to flare and it can last for days. I then have to deal with my 82 yr old mom who does not understand that noise's cause me pain, sitting , standing, walking, having people clap me on the back [saying HI we hvae not seen you for so long}. I am just tired of not sleeping at night, of being over weight, and I just wnat pople to understand that I just dont' fel good and there is not a thing they can do to help me. I sound so selfish tellijng you all this. I want my lfie back but it is not going to come back , it is gone forever. the life before fibro.

    I am sorry for all the complaining about my life , it is not so bad. I do have wonderful daughters and really cute grandkids. I want more from my DH than him telling me that he loves me but not ever kissing me or just holding me when I hurt. But that is just my hubby and marriage is not all that bad after all we will be married for 30 years on Sept 6, .
    Wwhen I stop to remember what I was like 30 yrs ago when we got married I was a different person. I had a 2 yr old daughter, a husband who loved me and showe me quite often. Yes we had our problems but we worked thru them. Now our problems have changed and are not so easly fixed. I have fibro, end-stage osteo-arthritis in both knees, DDD,buldging lding discs L4 -L5 L5-S1, a wrist with a titaium palte and six screws, and am over wieght. MY Hubby has gone from some one who was never sick to a man who has type 1 diebeties, does not eat right for his DX, he has had ot have his c-spine fused , and suffers from verious dibeties realted illness's. The life we had is gone for both of us and we don't handly our illness's teh same way. I would love for him to go to the dcotor with me so that maybe he could understand what fibro is along with arthritis. He on the other hand does not ever want me to go to the doctor with him, or in an ER room when he was there. I miss the us that we had and I don't know how to get the new us to work better. to become a family just he and I as all our daughters are married, with their families and expecting babies.

    Sorry for the novel, I just needed to vent about life. Now I just need to learn how to sleep in my own bed again. Many HUGS to all who read this
  2. u&iraok

    u&iraok New Member

    My husband and I don't sleep in the same bed, no way, or same room for that matter. We wake each other up constantly and get a terrible night's sleep. We lie there each awake and miserable, trying not to make the slightest movement. Forget that!

    We ask for two double beds on vacation.

    Sure, we'd like to be able to sleep in the same bed together, but why worry about it? A good night's sleep is the most important thing.
  3. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I am taking 5 mg of melatonin, it is subliungal and helps me to relax enough to sleep. I am taking Mscontin, 100 mg x2 daily morning and night, soma up to 4 daily, some times I take two at bed time and one in the am about 5 so i can go back to sleep . I am also on MSIR, xanax 1 mg x2 @ bed time.
    I have a hard time relaxing because of the never ending pain in my legs, hips , calves, shins ect. I can't relax becsue of this pain. I am on enough pain meds to knock out a horse but it does not help me enough, The problem is that I don't want to take any higher of a dose and my doctor will not prescribe any thing stronger to me. I don't know if i need ot change from Mscontin to oxycontin. I don't know I hate feeling like I am letting people down by not attending church or going out to exercise with them. I just can't deal with the pain that all the noise, lights, noise from people taking children whining just sends me thru the roof in pain. But I am not able to get people to understand what sitting thru three hours of church does to me, having to listen to crying babies, florecent lights that buzz, microphone squeals, it starts in my head then goes all thru my body geting so painful that I feel so sick ,dizzy that I can't deal with it.
    I really want to go to church with my MOm as she is 82 and is not in the best of health. But even she who lives in pain from retumotiod adn oesteoartis in her hands , back and hips. She gets some relief by taking Lortab 10's but not on a regular basis. Me I take my meds every day like they are written. No one I know here in the REAL world understands why / how can a babbbby;'s cry cause me severe pain, and unless they have fibro they will never know ho w this feels.. I want ot be normal but it is not going to happen. So I am trying to get my family to understand how much pain I live wiht,

    Sadly I will be staying home alone as it has become so painful.