Fibro and intimacy

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Christinawensell, Jul 8, 2009.

  1. Christinawensell

    Christinawensell New Member

    Hi all, have not posted on here for quite some time. I have been graduating from college, and now after my dad passed away suddening two months ago I am helping take care of my mom.
    My issue though is this:
    Up until a week ago I did not have any sex drive at all,and I know this is normal for many with this DD. I had my husband purchase us a new mattress for our bed, so I could get better sleep, and also so I would start sleeping in the same bed.
    We'll I am getting a little more sleep, but also I am getting more. I have not had sex for over two years with my husband and now we already have twice, since the mattress.
    I am hurting though all over. My legs hurt and my arms. I barely can walk. Is this normal to feel after? I have never felt so bad in my life and I have dealt with fibro for years.
    Please help. I understand this is a sensitive subject and all, but I need some advice.
  2. lisadot

    lisadot New Member

    Hi Christina, I've not been here in a long time either...I'm sorry for your loss. It sounds like you are under a lot of stress, and we all know how that makes fibro symptoms worse... I'm glad you are trying to reconnect physically with your husband. I would say it might help you to take a hot shower beforehand, and stretch as much as possible - even if he's willing to give you a massage to try to relax you. Muscle cramps while intimate are NOT fun. Different positions may make it easier on your - for an example side by side. These are just some things I find that help me. Also, please check with your doc to make sure your hormone levels aren't off as that can impact your drive - never mind the chronic pain.

    Take care,

  3. FMsaddenedspirit

    FMsaddenedspirit New Member

    Hi Christina ,
    My sex drive also has pretty much gone to nothing for quit some time... Mind you I have been putting of seeing a women Doctor and having my Hormones checked , I am pretty sure I am menopausal. Hot flashes, night sweats. ..
    But yes Fibro has gotten in the way pretty much . its just hard to get in the mood when you are in pain all the time. and besides that the position my honey and tried last time and used to use lots of times. well. it hurt , and I have been scared to really .
    A nice hot shower to relax your musicals sounds like a good idea to try... , I just ordered a mattress pad a nice fluffy one. I am hoping this will allow me to sleep in bed with my husband through the whole night... as now I sleep on the couch more than the bed. I wake up when sleeping in our bed in lots of pain.. so bad I can barley move.. and always Different spots of the body...its hard with Fibro
    Stress I know is a big one.. will through me in a real bad flare. and it does not take much.
    I 'm glad you two are getting reacquainted .. I have never Flared after. but have hurt during... its probley more the stress causing the flare.
    Anyway ... best of luck... its nice to cuddle again I bet. Best of luck to you and yours ..

  4. ilovepink4

    ilovepink4 Member

    Christina, congratulations on graduating from college! What an accomplishment! It sounds like your personal life is really stressful right now with losing your dad and helping with your mom.

    regarding your renewed sex life (yah! I am happy for you! ) the sore legs and arms are caused by ( i believe) just using muscles that haven't been used in a while. I have the same thing happen to me. If we were more sexually active, we would probably not get sore muscles. I bet that after a few months of ongoing relations, your muscles won't bother you at all or much.

    good luck!
  5. momof3inks

    momof3inks New Member

    I also have the same issue with sex. What I have found to help me was taking a muscle relaxer before I know we will become intimate. It has helped me tremendously with the aches and pains from afterwards. I also think that where you are in your cycle has alot to do with the pelvic pain you might be experiencing.
    I am very sorry for your recent loss. I can only imagine the pain you are going through emotionally. Do you think that the stress from all of this has added to a "flare-up"? Stress affects me the most with my fibro pain..that and hormonal changes & barometric changes in the weather.