Fibro and relationships?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by tigerlily0677, Oct 23, 2011.

  1. tigerlily0677

    tigerlily0677 New Member

    I'm 34 years old, I've never been married and don't have kids. All I've ever wanted is to have a family but I have to be honest with myself, who wants to marry someone who is in pain and is exhausted most of the time? And how am I going to be able to take care of a child when I can't even get off my recliner and take my dog for a walk alot of the time? It breaks my heart to come to this conclusion and I pray that I can find a cure for my fibro.

    Is there hope for me? Are there people out there who have found something to take away the symptoms and have been able to have a family?
  2. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    "What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Fibromyalgia," by Dr. St. Amand. It does a lot to try to explain his theory of FMS. He has a treatment using Guaifenesin which reverses the FMS symptoms. It isn't an easy protocol and requires patience and commitment. As with everything else, it doesn't work for everyone.

    It did work for me but, unfortunately, I also have CFIDS/ME and now, Sjogren's Syndrome. Still, having my FMS symptoms reversed, for the most part, has allowed me to work on my other illnesses.

    Good luck to you.

    Love, Mikie
  3. kmdan

    kmdan New Member

    I would say yes, there is hope for you. I think it is important to believe there is always hope. But I have to admit that I have been feeling kind of hopeless lately. I just keep trying to remind myself that when I feel hopeless, I will start to have hope again soon. To get through the bad times, I have to tell myself it will get better, and this is just temporary.

    You can find someone who will care for and about you, and see you as the important part, not the disease. The suggestion of looking for someone online is a good one. You can get to know someone at a slow pace, if wanted, and look for common interests from the beginning. I met my boyfriend through eHarmony and it was a great way to meet/ get to know each other. I suggest looking into online sites... but be patient.
  4. tigerlily0677

    tigerlily0677 New Member

    Hi Kmdan,
    I do the same thing when I am feeling hopeless, I just keep reminding myself that this is temporary and that I will feel better again soon. I guess I'm feeling down because this "temporary" feeling is lasting alot longer than I hoped.

    I have been dating online but my luck with that has been pretty horrible. The first guy I met turned out to be a registered sex offender, second guy had a major temper, third guy turned very jealous after I had talked to him for only an hour and the fourth guy was seriously mentally ill and is still stalking me. There has got to be a decent, normal guy here in Colorado Springs!

    Thanks for sharing your ideas. It feels good to know that I'm not alone.
  5. kch64

    kch64 New Member

    Yes there is always hope. Hope you will find someone and hope you will feel well. Hugs.
  6. Chelz

    Chelz New Member

    I could have wrote your post to a tee. I am 46, never been married and don't have any kids. Actually, when I was your age, I never thought much about it. I had a few relationships, believe me, not many because my fibro always got in the way, either by my moodiness, pain, fatigue, can't commit myself to "going out" with him and had to break previous plans because I was having a nasty fibro week and I knew I would be no fun to be around.

    So many people that I know think I look like the picture of health, but we all know that is very deceiving. Our conditions are so invisible, that I have just about given up on people who just don't understand, and believe me, I know it can be very lonely.

    BUT, you are still young and there is hope, there is always hope. The problem with fibro is that it's always lurking around our bodies and we just can't take a pill to make it go away, as you are aware of this, so it's the constant battle, and when you add a job, responsbilities, a relationship, then children, it can seem so overwhelming.

    I have not found anything to take away the symptoms, but I do manage everyday. I know this isn't the answer you wanted to hear, and I'm sorry about that, I just wanted to write back and let you know you are not the only one who feels this way. Hugs to you, Chelz.

  7. Jeramy

    Jeramy New Member

    I see you are on the guai protocol AND have Sjogren's. I am planning on starting the protocol soon, but I have questions about how to treat my SS too. That is... how do you know if you are having FMS clearing or flares or having an issue with your SS? How do you separate the two?
  8. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Guai flares usually are more pain than fatigue. That is why one starts out slowly. The pain is usually specific to the tender spots and it can feel as though tiny fish hooks are being dragged through this tender tissue. This is because the debris stored in the tender spots is in crystaline form. It is removed and goes into the bloodstream where it is deposited into the kidneys. So, there can be some discomfort in the kidneys and when urinating. Often, people on the Guai can see debris on top of the urine in the toilet. It resembles talcum powder floating on the urine.

    The ability of our kidneys to excrete the debris is dependent on the dose we take. So is the amount of debris pulled from the tender spots. This usually balances out but not always. If there are sals present, the kidneys will lose their ability to excrete the debris and it we be redeposited in the tender spots and one will notice no benefit from the Guai. This is why it is critical to do the protocol perfectly in the beginning. Some of us can tolerate no sals, some can tolerate a few and some seem to be able to tolerate a lot. After the dose is arrived at, one can experiment a bit to see if one can tolerate sals. I consider myself reversed so I can tolerate sals on a limited basis but if I have too many, the tender spots will let me know.

    It might not be possible in the beginning to tell the difference in flares and Guai flares but after a while, you will likely know the diff. Once you arrive at a dose which works well and you can tolerate, you can up the dose to speed things up. That can bring on a new round of painful flares. I did it because I had been sick so long. I eventually got to 2400 mgs. a day. When I went from 800 mgs. to 1200 mgs. I had such Guai flares that I had to go back down to 800 for a while and try again later.

    This protocol takes time, patience and commitment but it is sooooo worth it if it works. I don't know how I would have handled the CFIDS/ME, and now the Sjogren's, had I not been reversing the FMS symptoms.

    Best of luck to you and let us know how it's going for you.

    Love, Mikie
  9. Jeramy

    Jeramy New Member

    for the valuable info. I didn't mention that my 10 year old son has FMS and is on the protocol. He is at 1200mg (in his small body) He actually may need more. We'll see if his mapping has improved in about a week.
  10. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    You know what you're doing. Hope this helps your son too. Please keep us updated and good luck to you.

    Love, Mikie
  11. Jeramy

    Jeramy New Member

    Just a follow up, My son is actually at 2400mg a day. I realized this AM when I gave him his morning dose of 1200mg. Wow! his little body is tough!
    Thanks for your encouragement.
  12. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Yes, he does sound like a tough little guy. Good for him. Does he have Guai flares? Dr. St. Amand believes in the Guai as a preventive in children at high risk of FMS, due to family history, who show early symptoms. Many children in FMS families have asthma and other respiratory problems and the Guai helps with that too.

    Keep us updated.

    Love, Mikie
  13. Jeramy

    Jeramy New Member

    Hi Mikie,
    Well I suppose he does. He's only just started on the protocol in August. Before he started and even now on it, he will get those same random pains in random places like I do. We just discovered yesterday that he may have been blocking intermittenly because of the overnight underwear/diaper he was using containing aloe. Soooo, even though we did a blocking test, which worked, and moved him up to the 2400mg/ of today we switched diapers(to one we know is safe) and lowered his med to 1200mg/day. We'll check his maping at the end of the month.
    Interesting about the asthma. My son has also had viral asthma seasonally from the time he was about 1 year. And now my 15 yo daughter is picking up the seasonal asthma. She doesn't display all the symptoms my son and I have, but she does have some. I will probably have the FMS doc check her out and diagnos at som epoint, but daughter has been on ADD meds since she was 6 which help, and other issues, like fatigue have corresponded to her having low iron. When corrected her energy is better.
    I'm at a place where I really have to do one step and one family member at a time...almost. It's hard to juggle all our different needs...and I've only scratched the surface here. There are orthodontia issues, other conditions, and on and on.
    It's nice talking with you about all of this. I appreciate your support and wish you the best.
  14. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Yes, it's good talking with you too. It really does sound as though you are approaching everything efficiently and intelligently. One thing at a time is the way to go. Take care and thanks for sharing your experiences.

    Love, Mikie
  15. msnova74

    msnova74 New Member


    As a 37 yo mom and wife that has been ill for all of my marriage, it is absolutely possible. I have a daughter (13), 2 stepsons (30 and 32), and 1 granddaughter (5), and a full time job. I have to do things differently, and require more rest than most, but I still manage it. It is a matter of balance. It took me many years to find the right combo of meds and suppliments, but it is possible. Keep your spirits high, and remember that you want someone who loves all of you, including your illness.