fibro info for divorce proceedings

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by mq, Aug 3, 2003.

  1. mq

    mq New Member

    We may need some official fibro info for my mom. My dad is being bizarre and nasty and divorcing her. She's newly dx'ed, and he is fighting the idea that he needs to support her. If you know of some good, "official" type reports or studies that may help, would you let me know?
  2. Hippo

    Hippo New Member

    I'm going through the exact same problem. I know of nothing "official" as you put it. I am being forced to go through some expensive and humiliating tests. Even though I have been sick for 20 years, my Ex insists that I can work, and it is a lot harder to prove that I'm disabled than I realized. I have had psychiatric tests, a rheumatological evaluation, a vocational evaluation, and now am going for neuro-psychological testing this month. It is exhausting and stressful. Good luck to you and your mother.

  3. Dara

    Dara New Member

    ssd, or is she already on it? If she is, the fact that the ss department found her to be disabled would be convincing. What type of official information are you looking for? I know there are many books on the subject, and there are Fibromyalgia Clinics at a lot of the hospitals.

    I have been very very close to going through the same thing your Mom is going through. My husband of 34 years has always claimed that I didnt' need to work. Well, now that I can't he has sure changed his tune. I did just recently start receiving my SSD and LTD so he hasn't had too much more to say about it. But, I have lost a lot of respect for him with this new attitude of his.

    I seem to be rambling on here, guess it's time for me to try & go to sleep, or read... Let me know what type of information you are looking for, OK?

  4. Hippo

    Hippo New Member

    Frequency, duration, severity--I have heard that before, but what if doctors don't believe you? I had a psychiatric evaluation done in June, and made a careful list of all my symptoms, and the guy said he couldn't rule out malingering. He also seemed to have tunnel vision, because I gave him a list of about 29 symptoms, and the only one he focused on was fatigue. I think my only option here is to figuratively throw this doctor in the dumpster and get more testing done by somebody else. What do you think?

  5. Hippo

    Hippo New Member

    I did not make myself clear. I had to go to a psychiatrist for an evaluation as part of my divorce proceedings. The psychiatrist gave me a whole bunch of tests to supposedly rule out malingering, and then he told me that he could NOT rule it out. This guy is not treating me, just evaluating. I would be interested in knowing what ways there are for ruling out malingering, if you don't mind sharing your knowledge. My evaluation did not go well AT ALL.

  6. Hippo

    Hippo New Member

    Looking for Madwolf.
  7. Seagull

    Seagull New Member

    I have been able to dig up my resume and former work history to give my lawyer to send with the rest of the recon info. I also sent him copies of two years' worth of monthly department "files worked" reports that showed I was the one of the highest producing underwriters in the company, until the month before I was forced to quit my job because of the severity, frequency, and duration of my symptoms.

    Is that the kind of stuff they look for in determining whether one is a malingerer?

  8. bluebirder

    bluebirder New Member

    I am in the same boat.....hubby doesn't want to take responsibility for medical or other support for me. Claims I am working and earning enough to support myself. Then there is added on that the abusive aspects of our relationship. He says I should not go to the Doctor and just Die since they can't cure it. Then he tells others he wants me back and I am the one refusing.

    I am homeless now except for rotating among friends and still in the SSDI application stage. But you know I still feel better without the daily spousal abuse occuring!
  9. gracie97

    gracie97 New Member

    Recognizing that some are forced into their offices for evals, the only safe route if one is to have any chance if at some point one has to prove medical disability is stay away from mental health professionals.

    Any contact with them is likely to add -- at the very least! -- a depression dx that will detract from the validity of your medical problem.

    And to do that, with problems like FMS and chronic fatigue, we need to be very careful about how we present ourseles to doctors.

    I've learned the hard way:

    +Don't stress emotional feelings

    +Avoid taking psych meds unless it clear between you and doctor that they are for pain or sleep rather than for psychiatric issues

    +Don't refer to yourself as depressed or anxiety-ridden but rather say "The pain is getting me down/is creating stress" or "The uncertainty of being able to meet my commitments and care for myself with my FMS is stressful"

    +ALWAYS check new doctors' notes to make sure that they aren't just psychiatrically pathologizing you instead of hearing what you tell them about your FMS or chronic fatigue symptoms

    +Even if you don't have much/any emotional support in your life, lie to your doctor if asked and say you do: A referral to a therapist can re-classify you as a headcase, and nobody with a chronic pain disorder can afford that.
  10. Hippo

    Hippo New Member

    Hoping you'll see this.
  11. elaine_p

    elaine_p New Member

    If you have/had a lawyer for your disability, ask them for the name of someone who does neuropsychiatric testing. One of the times Voc Rehab sent me to be tested. That might be another option. (You might have to sign up to be a client though.)

    I guess I lucked out in that all three times I was tested (one was a minimal test done by the insurance company's IME) they said I wasn't malingering. But I was still denied.... (Actually, NO doc has ever thought I was malingering and I was still denied.)
  12. Hippo

    Hippo New Member

    Funny you should mention that, my next appointment is for neuro-psychological testing later this month. I don't know what to expect, but I am very hopeful that this type of testing will show that there is something wrong with me. The psychiatric testing was a complete waste of time.

  13. elaine_p

    elaine_p New Member

    I don't remember if I called the first neuro-psych person and told her about my fatigue or not. I'm sure I mentioned it the day of the test. She did note that after 2 or so hours that I became pale and whatever. (Haven't read the report in awhile.)

    The second one knew and she did the testing over two days. One session was when I was rested, the other session was when I was fatigued. She noticed a difference.

    Anyway, you could mention that and see if they want to split the session, or if they can take that into account somehow. Or maybe you should make sure you're not rested.... (It's not cheating. If you had to work full or half-time you sure wouldn't be rested then. Took me a long time to figure that out.)