Fibromyalgia : The Life Changer

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by romey, Jan 1, 2007.

  1. romey

    romey New Member

    You’re seventeen when your life changes forever.
    You understand that time changes everything, it can’t not.
    You know that years would have passed and your life would have altered.
    Now at twenty-two you would still be a different person to that seventeen year old. Even if it hadn’t happened.
    You understand that. But perhaps we are all on a path and maybe at seventeen you could very clearly see yours and when it happened you stepped off it forever.
    You have an illness.
    “ Before I got sick…” you often say when talking about the past.
    You barely speak about your past anymore without that opening.
    When it happened, There was no operation for it.
    No blade sharp enough to cut it out of you…..and no one offered.
    It travelled beneath your skin and conversed with your bones, persuaded them to let it stay. It would not change them, only haunt. It mingled with the deep down flesh of you.
    No tar, no tight tumour, no stiffened lump.
    You were a lucky one.
    No failure of the kidneys, no abnormality of the heart.
    You were lucky .
    It was nothing you could see, nothing a doctor would spend more than ten minutes discussing.
    And so the war was waged. Within.
    You had an illness that would not degenerate you, not change your appearance and not mar the skin you wore.
    Once you fully came to terms with this you realised it would be easy.
    Easy to pretend that you did not have an illness.
    It was for survival.
    Got to be strong to survive.
    It wasn’t that you thought no one else had weaknesses, but that you knew you could not live in a world where the strong seemed to show everything but their vulnerability… and admit to yours.
    The Illness is affected by your attitude to it, that’s what the books said.
    And that’s how it felt. you hated your ‘Illness’.
    you hated how it made you afraid, afraid of pain, afraid of your own body. You hated how it made you choose medicated nothingness over the sting of everyday living. You hated how the only way for you to imagine your family understanding your pain, was to wish it upon them.
    you hated your ‘Illness’.
    So it hated you right back.

    You’re older now, older than seventeen. Older by years, Older by a lifetime.
    You have learnt that hate is not an emotion you can live through, so you have chosen hope.
    You understand that the only way to be truly happy is be true, true to yourself and true everyone around you about the fact that you have an illness.
    You have fibromyalgia. There is no cure. But there is hope. Which is more, you realise now then a lot of people are allowed.


  2. mymichelina

    mymichelina New Member

    Beautiful....I can relate to so much..thank you for sharing.
  3. IowaMorningGlory

    IowaMorningGlory New Member

    Thank you so very much for sharing it was beautiful and oh! so real.

    Take care and Kitten Hugs,
    Blessed Be,
    Laurie
  4. mindbender

    mindbender New Member

  5. Jillian40

    Jillian40 New Member

    Hello Romey -

    I read and re-read your amazing writing, reflecting
    your experience with Fibro.

    Elements of your creative writing are a shared experience with soooo many here on the boards.

    I hope you know how deeply you can touch with your words.
    And I hope that you keep expressing yourself in this way.

    Have you ever read the book, "The Artists Way" by Julia Cameron? Her book, which is more of a Journal process, inspired me towards more of my poetry and photography.

    She has written other books as well, but this one was my first exposure to "working with and being inspired by" other artists. After reading it, I began journalling and trying to release more of my creativity.

    Anyway, for what it is worth, I would recommend it to you as well.

    No matter what you do, continue with what you are currently doing . . . you touch others and I'm sure help to heal yourself in the process. YOU HAVE A GIFT!

    Gentle Hugs,
    Jillian
    P.S. Have you posted any other writings?
  6. romey

    romey New Member

    Hey,

    Thank you everyone for listening and for your lovely comments.
    I have been journaling since i was a kid and for me I've found that writing is like my greatest realease andgreatest friend.
    I really want to be a writer one day, its like my dream.
    I would really like to share my writing here, i do have other things I've written on FM but i have not posted them before, thanks to your support i will now.
    Jillian thank you the book suggestion I'm gonna look for that on the net.

    Hugs everybody and thanks again for listening!

    Romey