Fibromylgia and Anger..could this be what causes FM

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by spudzy, Jul 31, 2003.

  1. spudzy

    spudzy New Member

    I wanted to pass this information and also get some responses from other that have FM...my doctor has several patients with FM and also his own wife...he felts there is some connection with anger held inside that could possible cause FM...FM is the nerve endings in out total body...from some research he had done among his own patients he has found that 95% have had some type of disfunctional family/ abusive situations and not able to release the anger...I am starting to go to counseling at this time...yes, I was from a very disfunctional family with father that was an acholic and a mother that had mental problems and just plain mean....please respond...thanks,
  2. atrinigyal29

    atrinigyal29 New Member

    For me, at least, anger does not cause FM. I believe that FM has a genetic component and can be triggered by some environmental condition/situation. Is your doctor a psychiatrist? I'm in the mental health counseling field and if your doctor is not a psychiatrist, then it just seems strange to me that he would come to that conclusion without being an expert in the field of pschology. Also, I think any family can be described as being dysfunctional by their family members even if that family is seen as being "normal" by others. The anger he may be seeing in his patients may not necessarily be the cause of their FM, but an effect of the FM. Many people with FM express frustration and anger related to their illness and that is understandable with such a debilitating condition.
    Alicia
    [This Message was Edited on 07/31/2003]
  3. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Stress, including anger, abuse, etc., can trigger our illnesses and make them worse, but I think it's a BIG stretch to believe this can cause our illnesses.

    I've heard a ton of theories about what causes our illnesses, but right now no one has been able, or has even tried in many cases, to prove his or her theory.

    The problem with theories like this is that you can treat for whatever the theory du jour is, but it will not cure the problem, ergo, the theory is flawed. This may leave a person feeling cheated or disappointed.

    Those who have gotten better have taken a very comprehensive approach, treating the mind, body, and spirit.

    Love, Mikie
  4. chknmama

    chknmama New Member

    I dont believe anger causes FM.I've heard many theories and this is way off.How bout hangnails? LOLOL
    [This Message was Edited on 07/31/2003]
  5. lucky

    lucky New Member

    in my case CFS/FMS is and was certainly not caused by anger. The anger only arose when people who were close to me did not believe that I was ill and over the years I realized that I had to eliminate any negative emotions to be able to have the energy for coping with my illness.
    Sincerely, Lucky
  6. averilpam

    averilpam New Member

    I've recently started seeing a homeopath. I told her I had gallstones and she said that anger was stored in the gallbladder. This I can relate to!! I have plenty of suppressed anger.
    Pam
  7. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    If this is true, then all of us could be cured just by getting the supressed anger out. I do not believe this at all.

    No doubt stress, supressed emotions, etc. can make this illness worst, but I can't see where it would be the major cause of it.

    I had a normal childhood, my parents were not alcoholics, drug addicts, no divorce, etc. We did not even have beer in the house. No one drank.

    There were ups and downs like most normal families have. There is no such thing as a perfect life, thats only in fairy tales, or Leave it to Beaver tv shows.

    I have a great childhood, big extended family, spent half my life in the city and the other half on a dairy farm with grandparents. I was a rough and tumble kind of kid, never a cry baby type, always on the go. To be honest I was a spoiled brat with the grandparents, was the only grandchild on both sides of the families for years.

    Did I get a physical whipping sometimes? You bet I did, and I justly deserved it.
    It was my Mom who would keep me in line. Do I resent it now? no, I disiplined my children, they respect me till this day, I respected my parents too. Undisiplined kids are an accident about to happen.

    I have rarely in my whole life supressed my anger, if I had something to say I said it. If someone got on my case, then I would simply defend myself. I am still the same way, sick or well (ask my huband, kids and friends). I would not fit in that type of category at all.

    My husband had problems when he was a child, he was abused physically and mentally, not sexually.
    He had a father that was a retired military sergeant , and expected the kids (6 of them) to listen to him like he was a drill sergeant, he beat them and verbally abused them. His mother was afraid of his father so did not take his part in anyway.

    Does he have CFS/FM, NO! not in the least. He is about the healthiest person I know. I know he has supressed anger, he has never till this day confronted his father with this anger in him, or his mother for being such a passive bystander. He forgives them, but has not confronted them (that would not be my way, but I am not him).
    By the way, I would 'kill' to be able to sleep like my husband does, his head is not on the pillow good and he is fast asleep.

    If there was ever any anger in my head, you can believe it came out in one way or the other!

    Shalom, Shirl

  8. klutzo

    klutzo New Member

    I have a MAJOR problem with anger, but it came after the Fibro. I was the most mature,calm, understanding, tolerant and least angry person you'd ever meet before I got sick. The illness has somehow changed my brain, so that not only am I easily angered, but I can't supress it, even though I should. I blow up, and keep on blowing up for hours, days even. It is dangerous for me to get mad, and the last time I ended up in the ER with stroke level blood pressure, so I avoid people who I know might make me mad. This leaves me with about a half dozen people in my life!
    For me the anger definitely came AFTER the illness and did not cause it.
    Klutzo
  9. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    I have done the same thing you do, eliminated the toxic people that cause me to get that angry. I will go off like an automatic rifle! Yes, it will go on for days with me too, but I am find just as soon as I can vent it on WHO caused it :) I am fine.

    This is not new with me, I have been like this all my life. Thank God my pressure is not high, but I do avoid situations and people that will cause this type of blowups these days. I am not above taking a punch or throwing something at the offending person either.

    But I do not look for trouble (in fact I will go out of my way to avoid it), but I just can't let it slide when someone is directing it at me.
    I do not have the ability to control myself and ignore them. I admire those who can, but thats sure not one of my strong points.

    I am also a super nice person, will give you the shirt off my back, I will listen to anyones problems as calm as you please, but do not step on my toes, then I go bananas.

    You said you are down to about 6 people? I think I am maybe one less than you now :) I will admit, life is a lot more pleasant now........

    If you can inherit this, then I did not steal it, I came from a family of people that had these traits, mostly the men, but one aunt that was a terror.

    I have three children and only one has this type of temper, but he is much more tolerant than I am, and it takes him a lot longer before he loses it. The other son is a pacifist, and my daughter is just normal.

    But none of them had FM/CFS, just poor me!

    Shalom! Shirl



  10. garlinbarb

    garlinbarb New Member

    I think all of my emotions have become over active. I used to have a tougher hide, but not any more!

    I get mad easily, get my feelings hurt over every little thing etc...

    I think dealing with FMS and RA is all I can handle and anything else pushes me over the edge.

    I was customer service manager at WalMart for years and I never took it home or got mad at a customer for being unreasonable. Of course, having a cop throw them out if necessary didn't hurt!

    I think exagerated emotions and being impatient come after FMS.

    I will admitt I had a rough childhood and adulthood too for that matter, so who knows.
    The old chicken and egg thing again!

    Barb
  11. Magee

    Magee Guest

    I don't believe that anger causes FMS, but I do believe that our body remembers everything and that it probably contributes greatly, as does stress of any kind. I spent 18 months with a Life Coach and we were in the process of bodywork when my FMS got so bad that I was unable to work, continue a normal life, nothing. I have since moved out of state (CA) to the country (PA) and she and I have chatted about this being a possible contributing factor. Poor sleep for many years and stuffing my negative feelings, a marriage that was very difficult, an alcoholic husband, a divorce and starting over with nothing and ending up in a $150K a year job..and...now I don't work.
    Please let me know if you find out anything else.
    [This Message was Edited on 07/31/2003]
    [This Message was Edited on 07/31/2003]
  12. imagin

    imagin New Member

    well, after my naturo appt. today, i'm convinced that emotions play a HUGE part in any disease, whether it be FM or anything else. but maybe not just anger, any big emotion you deal with in your life or rather don't deal with in your life causes one thing like...maybe no sleep, which causes something else, and so on. I feel like I won't be able to truly "get better" until i find the original problem. which for me, was emotional stuff in my childhood and on. so i think it definitley plays a large part. so there's my two cents. :)
    -kristi
  13. isee

    isee New Member

    If you consider how many conditions accompanying CFS - hypothyroidsim, hypoglycemia, adrenal exhaustion, vitamin and mineral deficiencies, food intolerances, additive and preservative sensitivities - effect mood and behaviorial changes, because they scramble our chemistry, then it makes sense to me that a syndrome such as CFS will CAUSE anger. Not the other way around.

    Dr. Crook of "The Yeast Connection" observed how temper tantrums and depression would often disappear in his young
    patients(children)when milk(an allergen for them)was eliminated from their diets. And that was just one factor.

    Consider the toxins, viruses, bacterias, that affect a typical CFS patient.

    I think that anger is the RESULT rather than CAUSE of CFS.

    Anna
  14. Achy-shaky

    Achy-shaky New Member

    Interesting topic - I doubt that repressing anger causes this DD but I do know that if my temper flares I end up in a flare for a day or two. I'm basically a pretty melow person but this DD makes me fly off the handle at times.

    I came from a loving home, no divorce or alcoholism but married young to an abusive alcoholic and learned to repress my anger for years. I know that's not good for you but if that's the cause of FM, I would have gotten it a long time ago. I got divorced and then remarried & after 25 years with my husband can't complain as he is pretty supportive.

    Therapy has helped me learn to expess it better by journalling or talking with friends...most importantly by accepting other peoples faults and learning you can't change anyone but yourself.

    Blessings,
    Shaky

  15. Annette2

    Annette2 New Member

    I don't believe anger CAUSES fibromyalgia. I think it can make things worse though. I think people are born with the predisposition to the disease and something sets it off. In my case I believe that stress was the thing that made my FMS manifest itself - but I don't believe it caused it. If what your doctor says is true, most people in the world would have FMS! What if those few patients your doctor saw all wore red dresses? Would he say that all people who wear red dresses get FMS? I think he needs to do some more (a lot more) reading!

    Annette2
    [This Message was Edited on 07/31/2003]
  16. Myth

    Myth New Member

    I was always a mellow laid back person. I worried too much but I got over that. for a time i had a hard time controling my anger and irritation (oh the lovely teen years). I think many personality traits may help contribute to stress and may help trigger FMS but it is not the end all.
  17. kredca4

    kredca4 New Member

    I had the kind of Temper that jokes are made of, like, "If Momma Ain;t Happy, Ain't Nobody Happy", kind. Or teased that I had the True Irish Temper, because, I would get mad and then forget it.

    Since the FMS, I find that I get Mad easier, and at the dumbest thing's, of course they weren't at the time.
    I also would "Chew on a Bone" Like a dog, over some slight that I felt was directed at me.

    I'm Mad at the World, during a Flare.

    When I was growing up, I was in a "D"family, and was abused, had to hold in my Anger, was not allowed to express myself if I didn't agree with my Mom.

    So it's a real mixed bag for me.

    I do Believe tho, that there is something that has thrown our Tolerance to Pain, way Off. It's in the Head, but not like your Crazy thype of in your Head that the Dr's. mean.
    I think, it's some kind of "HayWire" with the Nerve's, and our being able to take Pain.

    FMS is a Sensitivity- Amplification Syndrome,. probably spelled that wrong, That's what Dr. Starlanyl calls it, and I think that's about right. I hurt 10 times more than a Normal would with the same Condition, say, like OA, or Spinal Stenosis.

    At least your Doctor is trying to figure it out, wish more would, and with the FMS pt's that they are treating, that's why I always give new articles to my Doctor's, can't hurt.

    Sincerely,
    sharon
  18. iggie

    iggie New Member

    Dear Hazel sorry to hear you are having a hard time , I sure remember the days of the yelling and screaming at my kids to, trust me it is traumatic for them because mom is always falling off the deep end and lashing out and they are in your line of fire. I found appologies don't cut it after awhile. You need some help by the time I was on 150mg of zoloft my dr. had me see a wonderful councillor he knew how to deal with chronic pain and tought me how to deal with my family and most of all myself maybe it is time for you too. It was worth every penny. Good luck.
    Love

    Iggie

  19. Fibrolady37

    Fibrolady37 New Member

    Interesting that your doc says that anger can cause FM.
    He/She need to do a lot more reading to have any hope of finding the answers.
    I grew up with 2 very angry parents who beat me as a small child & Mum left when I was 9.
    My sister & I were very badly beaten as teenagers.
    I also suffered Mental abuse all through my childhood & no love or affection was ever shown by either of my parents.
    Ive also suffered sexual abuse in later life & have had no 1 who could say "I was there for you",I went it alone.
    I have agorgeous 9yeard old daughter an only child who is my life & she keeps me going as does my positive attitude.
    My ex always mentally abused me all through Post Natal Depression & blamed me for everything,i just took it.
    Now after nearly 10 years im seeing a solicitor about him to say"Enough is enough",i wont put up with this crap anymore from you.
    Im waiting to start cognitive analytical therapy which will be the best thing for me & whilst im scred i know ill get through it because now im not alone,i have my partner.
    Sorry this is long but had to vent.
    sharon dawber
  20. lailal

    lailal New Member

    Hi Spudzy,

    I found your post to be extremely interesting! I too am from a very dysfunctional family and my Dad was an alcoholic as well. Over the years I have definitely felt some anger towards my family of which I've stuffed inside. For the most part I have let go and forgiven but not 100%.

    I saw a doctor several years ago who told me that Fibro. seems to be common in very intelligent people, perfectionist and people who have had dysfunction and or abuse in their families.

    Definitely makes one wonder doesn't it??

    Best and thanks for your post!
    Leila