filled with dread and despair

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by dani78xo, Feb 16, 2006.

  1. dani78xo

    dani78xo New Member


    i didn't go to school today.
    woke up and didn't have any energy.
    and had a bit of a headache.

    so i didn't go.

    i'm worried that i'll never get out of this.
    cymbalta is *supposed* to help with pain, sure,
    but it hasn't yet.

    i know it might take quite a while to kick in.
    but i really can't sacrifice my whole school year waiting for meds to kick in.

    i can't do a whole day, and only doing two hours of school kills me.

    my shoulder has been absolutely dead from my back pack.

    i could drop some of my books in my locker,
    but it hurts too much to walk up and down the stairs.
    and since my locker is on the second floor
    and my class is on the first,
    it's easier not to walk anymore than i have to.

    i'm wondering, does medicine help some of you enough to be able to function almost normally?

    or can i only hope for that if this goes into remission for a while?

    i'm nauseated just by the fact i'll be taking mostly sophomore classes next year in my junior year.
    with people i don't know.

    i wonder alot now if i'll ever be able to go back to my old life.
    it doesn't seem that way.

    i never realized how much i took for granted.
    and now i can't even get out of the house at all.

    i just miss it all :0
    and gee, while i really look forward to explaining over and over what exactly i have, {end sarcasm} it was easier when i didn't have anything.
    -danielle
  2. Sheila1366

    Sheila1366 New Member

    I am so sorry.You remind me so much of my daughter,

    When she was first dx. at the age of 12,FM hit her really hard.

    School was very difficult.

    I would recommend you doing a google search and find some support groups for teens to add with this great group.

    My daughter made friends with girls all around this country.ALso they have advice on how to get the help you need from school.

    You need to check into getting a rolling cart or something that you can put your books in instead of on your back.

    You need to be allowed to leave class 5 minutes before others cause it may take you longer to get to and from classes.

    Keep some type of fluid with you all the time.Hydration is very important.

    Get your school nurse involved as soon as possible.That helps alot.Plus the nurse needs to know about your condition.It is required in our school district and I hope in yours also.

    Have teachers write up all your assignments wether you are able to make it to school or not.

    Get to school when you can no matter what time you make it there.

    Look into the policey for tutoring a home bound student just incase you just can't go for awhile.

    In our school district the school system has to provide all the tutoring that a homebound student needs.It the law.

    Get anyone involved in your case.School councelor,a favorite teacher.

    Honey you can have a successful life.

    My daughter is now 20.She finished college last year and has a very sucessful job.And best of all she is feeling alot better.She has pain mostly at night in her legs now.And she takes provigil in the mornings to give her energy.But the one thing about provigil is it perks you up during the day but by time you get home and the evening starts to roll around you may feel very tired.That is how provigl works.My daughter sleeps better now.

    Well, honey you just do the best you can.That's all you can do right now til this fm calms down.It will I promise.

    If the meds. aren't helping the pain let dr. know.Don't suffer.And be sure you are getting good sleep.Very important.

    Take care honey,
    Sheila
  3. claudiaw

    claudiaw New Member

    you are having such a hrd time.
    I can relate.
    I am 38 and can't cook, work, clean or drive.
    I have a very supportive husband ( but he's getting burnt out)but I feel very guilty that right now I can't do those things/
    A few months ago I was bed ridden, so I try to remind myself, it could be worse.:)
    You may need to try a few meds before you find one ( or more usuaully) that helps.
    For me ( and most of us) there is no miracle pill out there.
    If possible try to get some physical therapy. That in combo with the meds at least keeps me out of bed.
    I know how frustraing it is, people don't understand and some even may blame you for your condition ( my in-laws and father are sure there is something I haven't tried that will make this go away).
    I also hear. "you arte too young to feel bad", or "you look fine". Both of these statements make me very angry and depressed.
    Anyway, I hope it helps knowing your'e not alone, and yes I believe it can get better.
    It may take awhile, but the longer you have this the more aware of your body you become.
    You learn what foods, meds and even activities you can and can't do/
    I hope this helps a little.
    Hang in there.
    Claudia
  4. Jana1

    Jana1 New Member

    DOnt give up til you find the meds, amounts etc that work the best for you. I think you can expect to have hours a day of normal life with the right combination of meds and doing what you need..exercise...diet etc. Jana
  5. elliespad

    elliespad Member

    My daughter was dx. with Fibro when she was around 7th grade. Missed 30, 40+ days each year. I finally asked her Rheumatologist to order the school to give her an extra set of books to be kept at home and to keep one in each class so she didn't have to lug 30 lbs of books around. It helps. And its' not asking a lot of the school.

    I insisted on Guaifenesin, on the chance that it could help her, I wanted her to have every opportunity to be helped early. Helped tremendously with her pain, to the point that in subsequent visits he withdrew his dx. of Fibro.

    She later required Tonsilectomy and Adenoids (around age 13 or 15) and that was a dramatic turning point in her health. For the better. Not just the throat issues, but her entire body changed. She is now 22, extremely fit, active, graduated college, working in a great job and ready to change gears and pursue a nursing degree to become a midwife. She still show rare signs of the DD but is nothing like it was as a child. And we will be armed with an arsenal of treatments to fight it as needed.

    She currently takes a lot of the same supplements I do and she MUST avoid pesticides, chemicals, toxins, FOREVER. She may be headed back to Fibro land some day, but for the past 8 or 9 years, she is in remission, and as close to the cure word as anyone could even hope for. She functions at the highest level academically, mentally and physically.

    I will pray that God would guide you, and bring you healing.

    Never give up looking for your path to wellness, it could be just around the corner.
  6. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    Instead of using a backpack, buy a catalog case. It is a rolling case on wheels, great for the books. They are sold at Office Depot. I found one on their website.

    You need to stop the back pack immediately if possible.

    You might want to try massage to help your muscles. Chronic muscle pain and stiffness can make you feel very tired.

    Is it possible to ask for a locker on the first floor? Perhaps if you explain, or get a note from your doctor, they can arrange for your locker to be moved.

    When you are worried and have anxiety that causes nausea, ask yourself, "what is the worst thing that can happen"? Usually, it is not that bad. It is so easy to worry, but you can control it.

    We take this illness one day at a time, and many of us get much better. It is all "trial and error".

    Pain alone causes stress - it also causes stiffness and tension in the part of the body where it is located.

    It would help you to learn all you can about Fibromyalgia. Some books I can recommend (there are 25 or more):

    Fibromyalgia: A comprehensive Approach - What you can do about chronic pain and fatigue - author Miryam Erlich Williamson.

    "Freedom from Fibromyalgia" a five week program proven to conquer pain. The book is very good. It author is Dr. Nancy Selfridge. Dr. John Sarno wrote the "forward" in this book. Dr. Sarno wrote the best seller book "The Mind Body Connection".

    "The Fibromyalgia Relief Book" written by Miryam Erlich Williamson. This is another great book.

    Many doctors recommend "cognitive" therapy to help. We can do cognitive therapy work ourselves with guidance from books like "Feeling Good" by David D. Burns, M.D.

    Cognitive therapy is work on our "negative emotions" - like anxiety, depression, and anger which cause stress. They say stress depletes serotonin levels in our brain which they say associated with a elevation of "substance P" - which increases our perception of pain.

    Check your posture (it can cause pain) - there is "body work" called "The Alexander Technique". Also Feldenkreis and Traeger methods. These all focus on improving our posture and the role poor posture plays in pain.

    Have a support system - eg. this board, outside support group at local hospital.

    Have good doctor - if the doctor or office says "fibro what?" say goodbye. Many of us see Rheumatologists.

    If you are really fatigued,remember to pace yourself and eat a nutritious diet. Many here take vitamins.

    Please don't be discouraged, you can feel much better, but it takes work. Keep reading on this board and you will certainly learn alot - and hopefully feel better soon.

    I am sorry you are dealing with this at your young age, but I can see you are very intelligent.











  7. marw

    marw New Member

    Hi Danielle,

    I used to be a teacher. I think these ideas about rolling book cases are great. My kids used to use them....of all ages. I like even better the idea of having 2 sets of books, but some schools may not allow that. If so, do that, or if not, do the rolling case.

    As a teacher, my concern was how much a kid learns or knows, not how many days he/she spends in school. (Now the school may not feel that way, so you might want your doc to write a letter or note about this condition to keep in the school med files. Indeed, it was the law at the school where I taught.)

    I, too, have tried Cymbalta, and it did not work for me. YOu need to get your doc to try more things until you find something that will work. And you will find something. Eventually we all do. We just have to be patient and try things. DO NOT let your doc tell you to keep taking something that is making you feel bad or worse than you did. Tell him/her about the side effects from the medicine always!

    The others have given you great advice, so I don't have a lot to add to that. Try to do some things you really like a lot, too, that make you happy, that you can do. For example, do you like to read? Paint? Make things? Sing? Whatever....these things make you feel better, and life should have some fun...not be always a struggle, although it will be harder for us, it is not impossible to get it "fixed" like you want.

    Also, if you can afford it, get a tutor....even if you don't really need one. It will make school easier, and you might even get ahead of other kids, even though you are sick some of the time. In any event, it should cause you less stress when you have more help.

    Oh, and get the Principal to let you enter the Building early each day, so you can take your time with the stairs.
    YOur doctor and Mom should make that request.

    I'll be thinking about you! You sound like such a great person....wishing you the best, and keep posting so we know how you are doing.

    Margaret
  8. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    works on all the neuro yptake receptors and may be a little too much for you.

    Also you absolutely must get a rolling back pack as carrying that pack is a NO NO.

    I think you need to ask to see a pain counselor see what they can do for you. Has your doc rescribed Physical therapy so you can learn special stretches. That too.

    Are you getting some sort of rub, I like Tiger Balm but it smells, and using it. Ben Gay and aspercream have non smelly ones. Also, during school try the 8 hour patches that are heat activated charoal, in red box, therma care I think. They just go on the skin. They may really help you.

    Good look honey


    Anne C
  9. dani78xo

    dani78xo New Member


    wow thank you for all the replies.

    you all had some really helpful ideas, and i'll be sure to give them a try :0].

    it makes me feel a little relieved, knowing that some other young fibro patients got relatively better.

    you guys are so supportful, it means alot to me.

    -danielle
  10. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    The others had some great advice for you and I just wanted to add one more thing.

    I started taking a magnesium supplement last year after learning about it here. It's a balanced calcium/magnesium/zinc supplement.

    It helped my muscle pain so much I can't even begin to tell ya. I still get pains in my knees and joints, but the back, neck and achy muscles are GONE!!

    I know it sounds simple and easy but please consider giving it a try. We all need a break from the pain here.

    I'm glad you've come to the boards for advice and help. I know we'll all try to do the best we can through our experience to help you.

    Hugs,

    Nancy B.
  11. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    First, we always have more options than we think but if we cannot get past despair, we cannot see them. Just knowing we have options helps with the despair and feelings of hopelessness.

    If the Cymbalta doesn't help, there are other options. I would suggest you go to the Guaidoc.com website and read about the Guaifenesin treatment. It has helped thousands with FMS. It isn't a quick fix and it can cause some flaring, especially initially. It takes patience and commitment, but it is the only treatment which offers the possibility of reversing the symptoms of FMS, including the pain and fatigue. The younger one is, usually, the faster one can improve. Your youth is working in your favor.

    In the meantime, you need to figure out how you can practically deal with day-to-day issues. Schools have to provide education for all students, including those with disabilities. There has to be an elevator you can take instead of stairs. A rolling case would relieve your back pain. Is there a way to get tutoring for days when you miss class? If you can get some medical help and find a way to finish up this school year, you may be improved enough to have a normal school year this fall. Take the summer to relax or, if you can handle it, to take a class to help you catch up.

    Do look into the Guai. If it seems too much for you to handle right now, consider starting it in the summer and don't take any classes. Just give yourself time to heal. Sweetie, when I was in college, there were students there who were excelling and who had had to get their GED's for one reason or another. Let that be your Plan E, F, or G. Come up with some creative Plans B, C, and D. Just taking the time to strategize will help you take control of your life and healing. Don't give into the pressure to keep going at a pace with which you cannot keep. It will only make your illness worse. This may be a critical time for you in terms of your healing. Give everything in this thread some serious consideration.

    Love, Mikie
  12. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

  13. leubie

    leubie New Member

    WE LOVE YOU HONEY AND ARE PRAYING FOR YOU. LOVE TO ALL-LAURA