Final Sign from Ex for me and a thank you to all from Yesterday

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by risinforce, Dec 29, 2005.

  1. risinforce

    risinforce New Member

    First I want to thank all who wrote to me yesterday about my confusion and sadness about my situation w/my exhusband. I have been thinking and praying about it and have realized a few things. Your posts are almost all right on the money.

    Yes, this last weekend (Xmas) was nastalgic and a reminder of how things were prior to FMS which brought back alot of sadness to me. It reminded me of happy times, a life lost now. Promises were made and misleading in my opinion.

    On Wednesdays and Thursdays of each week my son and I stay at my Mom and Dad's house so I can get up really early and go to work. My mom is my transport for my son to and from school and babysitter when he's on break. She also lives literally two blocks from my ex. Anyway, he called the house to speak to our son and did not ask to speak to me, not even to just say hi.

    That to me is the final explanation point on "I'm not really interested". He of course knows we are both there every week.

    I did not shed a single tear (yeah for me). I just carried on and brushed it off. I have decided to continue on w/my life as normal and not look back. Should he want me, well he's going to have to do ALOT of proving.

    I'm putting everything in God's hands at this point and time and no longer worrying about it. If he asks me what we are doing over this weekend, we have plans w/out him. Sorry! He's going to have to work really hard to get my attention. I'm not even sure that will work at this point.

    You all are right. I'm hurt, humiliated, grieving, but not dead. I'm 35, in good shape, single, smart, strong and beautiful. I deserve a man who will love me with all his heart and soul w/my illness and my son. And if he doesn't love and except my son or my illness than too bad hit the road. I've already dated and booted one who was toxic. he was only allowed to briefly meet my son. I don't believe in bringing people into my childs life unless it is extremely serious.

    2005 has been emotionally, physically and finacially horrible for me. I'm determined to make 2006 a good year. I will not start it out by being down over this. So we plan to play games, watch the rockin eve what ever it's called by the fire (raining here) on Saturday and snuggle up. Or maybe spongebob who knows. We love cartoons.

    Thank you and I love you all, you are the best family ever!
    Shawn
  2. risinforce

    risinforce New Member

    Sometimes I wish we all lived in the same City and could call eachother or visit. Don't you? It sucks that we are scattered across the world. Thank God for this site and the internet though or we would never know eachother.

    I don't know a single person in Reno w/Fibro. I'm hopefully going to be participating in a Fibro Group Counciling in Jan or Feb where I can meet others like me and make friends. It would be nice to have friends like me instead of ones that are healthy and don't understand.

    I've lost quite a few due to this illness. One that I thought was a life long friend. Very sad.

    Hugs to you though!
    Shawn
  3. kaiasmom

    kaiasmom New Member

    I am glad that you found the support here that you needed! I know I have also. It is so hard, especially with a child, and FMS, to beleive that anyone would want us. BUT, that is not true!! I'm sure you are smart, beautiful and strong, and someday, the right person will appreciate everything that you have to offer.

    Before I met my fiance, which was even before diagnosis, just with a child I felt that no one wanted me with all my baggage. Well, Steve loves Kaia as if she were his own, and, well, he is my rock. I have always been a very independent person, and it has been hard for me to let go of some things. Now I realize that I am extremely dependent on Steve - something I never thought would happen with me!

    Sorry, back to you.....you will find the one who will sweep you off your feet, romance and all, and you will make a wonderful life together with your son. I pray that you will find each other, when the time is right. I also pray that you will feel comforted knowing that you are doing what is best for your son. I got back together with my ex a few times, and it was very hard on Kaia. He kept promising to change.......but it was just empty promises. I'm sure you are familiar.

    Anyways, have a wonderful New Year with your son. Relax and pamper yourself - you deserve it!!

    Leanne
  4. JLH

    JLH New Member

    You can be strong and get through this. Holiday times do play with all of our emotions.

    It comes through your post how much you still love your ex--it shows. I'm sure that is normal--who wouldn't still feel love for the father of her child.

    But I think you are still hanging on to the hope that he wants you back, and that you would jump at it if he only said the "right" things. What tells me this is two statements that you made in your post:
    * Should he want me, well he's going to have to do ALOT of proving.
    * He's going to have to work really hard to get my attention.

    Maybe I'm wrong. I hope so. Maybe this is normal. I have never been in this situation, so I should probably just keep my mouth shut. I just don't want to see you hurt again, or you son hurt by it.

    As you said, you are strong and smart. You won't have any trouble finding a caring man who wants to be with you and your son. Good men are out there--sometimes it takes a while to find them, but they are there!

    Here's to a better 2006 and many happy days ahead!

    Much love,
    Janet