Finding balance

Discussion in 'General Health & Wellness' started by daddoo, Oct 4, 2011.

  1. daddoo

    daddoo New Member

    How do I keep my wife from feeling like a burden? I can't say anything about the enormous stress I am under re-working my schedule around her care or she immediately wilts. She makes worrisome comments like "You'd all be better off without me."
  2. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    Any loved one that tells you "you'd all be better off without me"---I personally would consider that a HUGE RED FLAG that the person may be having suicidal thoughts. Wait no longer and please consider therapy so that both of you perhaps seperately, then together can work on her medical conditions and then the stress you are under with your schedule. Disabilities can cause depression and depression can get so bad as to start suidical thinking. If she starts talking about harming herself, call 911 and get her into a mental health hospital so that she can be evaluated and that would undoubtedly save her life.

    Keep in mind that if she is disabled, a good place to call to see about what resources you might be able to get is the Area Agency for Aging. It is not only a place for seniors, but also helps all ages that are disabled and those that may have AIDS.

    You can also contact your city/town's main number and ask to speak with a social worker and ask them if they would meet with you to discuss resources to help out in the situation. That social worker may be able to direct you to low cost/no therapy.

    But don't just shrug this off and do nothing. You want to take it seriously and get your wife into therapy to realize that she can't wilt when you need to discuss things, and that she can't be thinking that you would be better off without her. Good luck and hugs.
  3. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    This sounds like a mental health alert which requires attention. Please, keep your comments to yourself about your stress. I know you need someone to help you with your stress but if your wife is that depressed, and possibly suicidal, you need to find help for your stress outside the marriage. Please talk to your wife about finding some therapy for her problems and find help for yourself.

    When people become sick and/or disabled, there is tremendous guilt and they go through a grieving process for the life they have lost. You are likely going through a grieving process for what you have lost as well. You both need help dealing with these issues. God bless you and good luck. A prayer going up.

    Love, Mikie
  4. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    I forgot to mention. At the top of this Health Board there is a bold post on low cost/no cost medical/prescription help. Go on there and there are posts for free medical help, then there are posts for mental health help (therapists, etc.). You can try those to see if they may help you also. Waiting lists can be long for free help.

    At the top of that post also is the suicide crisis phone number. Put it in your wallet and if you can't get an appointment quickly with a therapist or psychiatrist for your wife, you may to call the number and ask them for suggestions and help around your area. Many of the numbers have resources themselves.

    Also, you can call your county Mental health Association and ask them if they have any local Warm Lines, which are phone lines to call when one is not on the brink of suicide, but feeling really depressed and so overwhelmed and they also have tremendous resources to help out. That might be another resource for your wife to call--the Warm Line, and it might be a place for you to call if you cannot get into a therapist/psychiatrist quickly enough and they may be able to tell you places to get free/low cost therapy. BE SURE TO TELL EVERYONE THAT YOUR WIFE IS SAYING YOU WOULD BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT HER AND YOU ARE CONCERNED THIS MAY BE POTENTIAL SUICIDEAL THINKING (SO THEY GET HER IN MORE QUICKLY).

    [This Message was Edited on 10/06/2011]