Flare Flare go away and don't come back

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Apr 18, 2011.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I am venting today, haveing reached the end of my pain limit/ or tolerance, I can't stand this never ending pain that has taken over my body. I understand why my knee's hurt, i have end-stage oesteo-arthritis in both knee's.This just means that my knee's have worn out and I need both of them replaced. Due to the lack of funds, terror of more surgery, I am in no rush to have both knee's replaced.

    I have been thru a very stressful few months and it does not look like things will be getting better any time soon. But then I tend to think of the glass half empty not half full.
    Her in Utah we have had a really wet fall, lots of snow, since last OCtober we have had over 70 inches of snow in the mountians , from mid FEb to now we have had either snow storms or rain till we have so much water filled snow that flooding is what every one talks about.

    For the past few days it has been cold and wet, my body hates being cold , wet, damp, and in alot of pain. Pick a spot on my body and it hurts far more than usual. I think that some of the pain is due to me slowly reduceing my pain meds that are strong narcotics, I don't think that they are working as well as they did 5 yrs+ ago.

    So I have thought that I would reduce them and get off the really strong ones so that I can reset my body's medicaion tolerance. for quite a while I didn't have many flares and thought that I was doing so well, but after the past few days I am not doing wel at all. I am not handling thie over load of pain, from head to toe's my body hurts. Who knew that lights caused severe pain and nasuea{Sp} but it does. My head hurts wirst aches throbs severely, it feels like some one is shocking my forearm and wrist when putting lotion on it. I feel this soft tingleing feeling that starts to burn the more it is touched.

    My ribs ache, as does my back, all my bones feel like I have been flattened by a steam roller. my hips ahce so bad that the only way I can discribe it is like this{if your a girl you will remember playing with barbie dolls and making them do the splits, they can't do the straddel splits or their hips and legs pop off, that is how I feel like someone has popped my hips off out of socket, I have a buring pain that shots down my butt cheeks that burns like a hot poker, at times out of the blue I get a sharp stingging pain deep inside my muscles like some one has poked me with a cow prode set on HIGH. My legs ache from hips to feet. NOthing I do has eased this pain, I have not slept in a week at nights, and sleep a bit during the early morning hours.

    I have reached a point where I can handle this never ending pain and over whileming fatique, I dont' know what to do any more, My doctor will not up my meds and I really dont' want him too , I can't afford to get a massage to see if that would help get some of the knots out of my msucles, each day the pain gets worse and I am in tears more and more.

    When I was told that I had fibro, DDD, chronic myofacial pain syndrome, bulging discs L4 -L5 , L5 -S1 and end stage oesto arthritis in both knee's. No one said hey your going to have days where you feel like you have been hit by a mack truck, flattened by a steam roller, and beaten with a baseball bat. All at the same time. No one ever told me that arthritis flares up but it does. I don't want to be a complainer all the time. I am doing all that I can on my own.

    My daughters don't understand what fibro does to you the pain it cause's and that no two peole react in the same way. My hubby tells me that I need to lose some weight and then my knee's won't ache so much. He is right but who wants to work out when your in so much pain that your brain won't function right. It is like some one has miswired my nerves and messed with the switches so no one knows where the off switch is at.

    I feel bruised, broken, and misunderstood. I dont' know who to talk to about this never ending flare that I am going thru now. My doctor is no help as he is out of town again for a couple of weeks, my Mom does not understand what i go thru either as she can't rememberthat I have no way of controlling fibro it controls me. I don't want it to control me any more, does any one know what I can do to get this to ease and not control me?
    I didn't mean to write a novel about my pain, I just needed to talk to some one and vent. I dont' remember hurting this much before. i feel like flares are getting worse and lasting longer. Did I make a mistake in owering my narcotics? Please help me I can't even take a hot bath as my legs hurt to much to get out of the bath tub. I feel to fuzzy to drive or I would go to the gym and sit in the hot tub to help ease this horrialbe pain. I am loseing the battle.

    Sorry for the novel.Rosemarie
  2. 3gs

    3gs New Member

    Rosemarie you read my mind! or body! I live in Utah also and this has been the worst year ever.

    This weather we are having is causing agony for me. My ribs feel like they have been bashed. I wish I knew where the off switch was.

    I mess around with my pain meds this last visit with doc and regret it. I changed to norco from lortab(worried about tylenol)and they dont work. 3 months til I can go back.

    Like you have thought about lowering meds. umm not going to happen.
    I just keep telling myself hang on for good weather maybe it will help.

    losing the battle also-jen
  3. earthdog2000

    earthdog2000 Member

    Dear Rosemarie,

    Hi! I am just recently back to this board after 5 years! Came back due to MAJOR stress affecting me physically, mentally and emotionally! I am hoping to find new info, new friends and I also enjoy helping others. I too have Fibro, panic attacks, chronic pain etc. etc....
    I also take pain meds ( Vicodin/Hydrocodone, generic name) and would not be able to function if not on pain meds, Lyrica, Abilify, Cymbalta and Clonopin etc.! I also take many vitamins, CO Q10 and MSM being the best ones for fibro and CFS! Enough about me for now, sorry!I also tend to write novels on this board! I have short term memory loss esp. now due to the extreme stress and have had 4 panic attacks just in the last week and a half!! I type real slow and have trouble with word finding skills these days. ( Fibrofog I think ) Sorry, enough about me,lol!

    I just happened to stumble on your post this morning and wanted to reply back right away! Unfortunetly, I had lots of phone calls and emails to return. Then, my daughter and 5 year old grandson, Ezekiel came for a 2 hour visit which was wonderful! Although it drained me some I wanted to at least reply to you before doing a few things that I have been putting off with Thank God, hubby's help. I read your profile and we have a lot in common! Some of the same issues and DD's and we are 2 years apart in age. I have 4 kids ranging in age from 20-30 and 1 grandson, age 5.

    Forgive me if I forget what I say or what you say, it's because of the the short term memory loss that my sister calls CRS, ( can't remember SHI# ) lol! Back to you, I would NOT be going down on meds right now but going UP due to the SEVERE pain that you are in! You need to get out of this flare in anyway you can! Do not worry about what others think or say right now. You and your health are the most important thing for you to take care of!! I would also alternate between my heating pad and ice ( as tolerated ) due to the cold weather. Do not worry about your weight either as you can deal with that at a later date, no matter what hubby says. I can understand you not being able to take a bath or go to the gym to use the hot tub. I can relate to not being able to afford getting a massage. Maybe hubby can help you a little with a light massage as long as he is very gentle and stops if you feel worse pain? I will check back for your reply as soon as I do the dreaded things I have to do before I get too fatigued!

    Much Hope and Faith, Julie ( Earthdog )

    P.S. Do you meditate, pray or read inspirational books? That's what I do when I'm hurting really bad as it helps with my pain and also the panic attacts!

  4. earthdog2000

    earthdog2000 Member

  5. earthdog2000

    earthdog2000 Member

    Hi Rosemarie!

    I hope you are feeling better and doing okay. You have not replied back so I'm thinking you are not out of your flare, so sorry. I'm using my ESP and it is telling me that maybe you are feeling at least well enough to get back on the board and vent some!

    I am going to see my mom then to do errands and will be back on the message boards to check in with you when I get back. I should be back around 2 or so.

    Faith and hope, Julie :)
  6. earthdog2000

    earthdog2000 Member

  7. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I was having issues with my computer and spelling. For the past few days we haev been in a rainy season, yesterday we had thunder very loud and i could feel it in my bones and muscles not fun. As teh thunder got louder and harder I shut off the computer . Finally teh rain and thunder stopped. But my pain only got worse.

    When I went in to get my pain /rehumy doctor sign my driver's liicense paper he said that he would be happy to reduce my meds but to know that he would NOT increase them in any way. He thinks that i have become immune to them so I need to get off them all and start over with lesser narcotic's like tyenonyl #3, Lortab 10/500, The reason I went on to the stonger narcoitics was be cause of the possiable tyelynol over doseage. I can't win for loseing.

    To night my ribs ache so badly that i want to scream but that would only make them hurt worse. my writs hurts so badly and I can feel the bones moving around in side my wrist, it is very painfull.OI am so sick of all tha pain , never ending pain, nothing ease's it or helps it slowo down. I don't know why?

    I am on Msontin , Msir, Soma, visteril, xanax, vit.D 5000units, magnisium, b-12, ibprophen. My mscontin was 100 mgs per day and now it is 60 mgs x2 daily, I have had my meds reduced alot in the past 5 yrs, as the rehumy thought my dosage was too high, I reduced them on my own every time I had better days at times and did not want to have lots of pills left over. But then I thought that I had to fill my scripts every thirty days no matter what.

    My rehumy tells me that I am to ask for a refill when I have a one days pills left and it has been at least 30 days or over.SO last month I refilled my 3 of my scripts at 31 days and one at 34 days and the last 46 days. It is a pain not to fill them all on the same day, but I will get used to it.
    Rosemarie[This Message was Edited on 04/30/2011]
  8. earthdog2000

    earthdog2000 Member

    Dear Rosemarie,

    It sounds like you are in a bad place with your flare especially with it lasting so long. For me personally, I have had a flare last anywhere from 3 -7 days but I don't have as many DD's as you do. What pain meds are you on right now? Are you taking any muscle relaxers? Like I said in a previous reply I take Vicodin 10/325 for pain and if I am in a flare or can't sleep at night due to muscle or joint pain I take Zanaflex. Zanaflex is a muscle relaxer similar to Flexiril but does not make me feel groggy in the morning! Vicodin is the same thing as Lortab I believe. Vicodin's generic name is Hydrocodone. I think that Lortab and Norco are also generic names for Vicodin but I'm not positive!

    If you are still going down on your pain med it can cause withdrawal. For that reason I would NOT go down especially when you are in such a BAD FLARE! I had a hard time reading your last reply due to spelling errors. That tells me that you are probably going through withdrawals. Also the fact that you are in so much pain and especially in your joints and muscles.

    I hope that you come back on the boards soon so you will read this and other replies because we are all here to help. Please let us know how you are doing even if it's just a quick reply! I personally would love and care to be able to help!

    I will pray for you that your pain lessens, Gentle Hugs, Julie ( Earthdog )
  9. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I was wrong. my legs hips, thighs, knee's, wirst, back well all over,hurts much.Ican't stand this never ending pain.I am so sick of it. you asked what meds I am on, msscontin 60 mg x2 , msir x4[ try to take the least amount possiable some times two some days three and some all four. I am also on soma 350 x4, I try to take them at night not during the day becauess it makes it so I can't drive, but some times at night while my muscles ease out of the knots I don't sleep. I don't remember having a good nights sleep in the past year. I am also on Xanax, and visteril for nausea and itching.

    The stress has over whelmed me over the past few years, from lost job, losing our house, having sick mother, things seem over whelming for me... I am hating stress's I have no control over them and it is makeing me feel worse. I am never out of pain, I can't sleep at night just during the day , I feel like a baby who has there days and nights mixed up.

    About the spelling I can't sleep on a good day with all the full strength. Spelling is not one of the things I do best. In the past two months my mother has been critically ill and almost did not make it. Now she is doing better and is in rehab. A dear friend lost his 17 yr old daughter to a gentic defect with her immune system. It was such a hard thing to go thru, and with out being able to say any thing that could help just hurt more.I am so over whelmed with sadness, and grief, things I have no control over and I just internalilze it.

    My daughters don't understand that fibro can cause more pain that you can think of, i can go up town with them one day and the next day i can't function and they don't understand why? I have tried to tell them , show them in books like Deven Starlandl but they don't read them and tell me that I read too much and just think it in to my life. I dont' do that. I was dx'ed with fibro 7 yrs ago and have been tested several times since to make sure I have it. I have cmp, ddd, spinal stenosis, bulging discs in l4 -L5 and l5 - S1, I need two knee relpacements and I am terrifed of any more surgery. I can't deal with how my daughters feel, MOm you take too many pain meds . Mom you sound like your drunk, and other comments that discourage me and make me feel like they don't want to believe in me or in what my doctor has said. dont' want to stop taking my pain meds. I am ok with reducing them to some thing less strong. but it is going to take much longer than they think .

    I am sorry that I am not the mom that they think I was when they were young, I am not going to become her by stopping my meds in fact I will become worse., the less meds I take the more pain I am in. It is not going away any time soon. Please understand that I am doing the best I can, I am taking 20 mgs more than I was two months ago ,So I don't feel like I am going thru with drawls,I am going thru a lot of stress's that I can't control even though I really want too. I have to get used to knowing that I can't control every thing, I can't control every thing, I can't contol what my daughters think or how they react to my illness's , fibro ect.

    I so want them to understand me and belive in me have faith in me that I am telling them the truth, accept it , deal with it. Then let me handle my illness's my way. I just want them to accept me in sickness and in heatlh , I am going to be there mom for a long time and I love my grandbabies and will be there for them all I can.

    Today we had a sunny day but we have more rain and snow in the forecast, the cooler weather is not helping me to feel better, I am sick of being cold and feeling cold... I just want to stop this flariing now.I am so sick of havng legs that ache all the time, feet that hurt, burn sting, ache, my back is killing me that pain is terriable and is hard to live with, I am doing my best to be strong and live in the way that will help me to be the best I can be. That is all I want.
    Thankss for listening.
  10. earthdog2000

    earthdog2000 Member

    Hi Rosemarie,

    Just checking in with you and hope your flare has lessened. I pray for SO many people and you are one of them! Please Dear God let Rosemarie feel better today. How many days have you been in a flare? I am thinking positive thoughts for you today! Hope to hear from you soon.

    Many Gentle Hugs, Julie :)
  11. earthdog2000

    earthdog2000 Member

  12. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I think I will sruvive, this flare has lasted much longer than usual, But I have been under more stress than usual too.

    Over a month ago my Mother got sick , her heart rate was too high and she had a lung infection. Didn't know if she would make it or not. AFter spending a week in the hospital she is not in a rehab unit and hopefully will be home in a month.

    Then shortly after mom's hospital stay I learned that a dear friend's 17 yr old daughter had passed away due to a lingering illness, She had a genetic defect in her immune system and it caused her to get funal infections that did serious damage to her lungs and the rest of her body. It is so sad to lose a child so suddenly,.
    Her dad and i have been great friends since we were little, so it hit me hard . I remember her as a small little girl she was so pretty. and she grew up in to a beautiful young woman.

    It was hard to deal with for me, I have not lost any of my children and there are no words that help. But we are e-mailing each other and he has my support and love,
    I didn't understand how stress's like illness's and a death do to our bodies. but I felt so guilty ,here this young woman didn't want any one to know she was ill , and here I am crying about my aches and pains. I felt so bad I complain about how I feel far too often when i should not.

    Any way I am starting to feel like it may soon ease and I will feel better. STil have mornings where my head feels like it is going to burst and my legs are going to be pulled apart and come off.
    I will get thru it thanks to you and all the friends here , thank you all
  13. earthdog2000

    earthdog2000 Member