Flaring from too much stress VENT

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by TeaBisqit, Feb 10, 2009.

  1. TeaBisqit

    TeaBisqit Member

    A debt collector has managed to get a hold of my private, unlisted phone number and left a message today. I'll be doing a bankruptcy toward the end of the summer or early Fall, but not before. I had changed my number last year to avoid the harassment and I do have a lawyer and even prepaid for the bankruptcy. But this call really had a bad effect on me. It's an invasion of privacy. I wrote to all my creditors last year and told them to never contact me by phone. Of course, that didn't stop them, which is why I still had to change the number.

    To me, getting someone's unlisted number goes beyond fair debt collection practices. And it has sent me into a huge flare. I'm really, really sick with a fever and all kinds of thyroid symptoms again.

    On top of this, the guy I had started to date, he told me he wants to get back with is ex girlfriend, as he's still in love with her. He doesn't love me. And it looks like he's dumped me right before Valentine's Day. How fun. So I've had the stress of that, too.

    And I'm supposed to be taking my cat to the vet in a few hours, and i have no clue how I'm going to do that when I'm so sick. This is her annual checkup, and I have to do it because the place I live in makes it the law.

    I know I shouldn't let the debt collector call get to me like this, but it has. Everything has, but that was the icing on the cake. People who are chronically ill should not have to deal with these phone calls. It made me wish I was dead. And that's not fair. It's not my fault I got sick and my immediate family died and left me in debt up over my head. I've lost everything. My family, my home, my friends, my health. It's amazing I go on at all. And I just don't need this added stress right now on top.

    Please tell me things will get better because I cannot take anymore. I used to be an optimist. I was always the first one to say everything was going to be okay. But after eighteen years of this disease and losing everything, I am losing my hope as well.
  2. Rockismom

    Rockismom New Member

    I really do understand your frustration, fears and the saddness you are experiencing. I can only tell you that when things were at it's worst for me I had my faith to hold on to and I pray you have that as well.

    This is a very good place to come to vent and to find workds of encouragement. I have to admit I am usually not one to pipe in.

    If you have caller ID then don't answer your phone. Let your attorney know who is calling and he (?) should handle that for you.

    If you don't mind me asking, how did you lose your family? Have they turned their back on you or something else?

    Have you seen a counselor? If not, perhaps this would help you. To be able to vent to a professional. They often have very good insight on situations such as the ones we are facing.

    Please know you are not alone.

    Keep telling yoursef "And this shall pass" and that "I can do this!" Because it will...and you can!

    I will be praying for you. In the meantime please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.

    Gentle Hugs,
  3. nixon

    nixon New Member

    Never lose HOPE, if you need to reschedule your cat's appt. try to do it, if you can make it to the appt. maybe getting out will help you feel better!! When I'm REALLY down, I always try to remember that there are people out there in worse shape than me, and try not to dwell on my problems! Of course it's always easier said than done!
    Sorry that the bill collecter managed to get your #, I'd call the attorney and have them handle it, ( My father went thru the same thing, he also has fibro)
    As for the boyfriend....the timing is sucky, but he evidentally was not worth it, you are better off with out him. Try to focus on yourself, soak in the tub, meditate, whatever will help take the stress away. My prayers are with you, & keep on keeping on, hug on the cat!! I love my cat to death, she is 17 yrs. old!! She has been of great comfort to me in TRYING TIMES.......Hugs, Andrea
  4. TeaBisqit

    TeaBisqit Member

    I took the cat in, but it has done me in. I'm so incredibly sick. And sleeping didn't help me. I'm not going to be able to do much for awhile now.

    So far, I didn't get another collector call yet. I don't know how many phone numbers they have and my block is full up already. I can clear some of that out, though. I just wish they would let me be until I'm ready to move on this.

    Stress can really do a number on you. I'm just that sick. I'm going to try to take it easy and if I have to keep the phone off the hook, I will.
  5. loto

    loto Member

    Please tell yourself it will get better. It really sucks that everything seems to happen all at once. But, as hard as it is, we have to try and think "well, this is bad, but it could be worse!" So far, that helps for me, of course after I've had a good long cry. Please know you're not alone, and while I can't be there physically to support you, my thoughts, prayers, and hopes for better days for you are here!
    Hang in there
  6. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    Unfortunately a debt collector can even call others to get your phone number -unlisted or not. Definitely keep track of every single conversation, voicemail etc. If they violate any laws, let your attorney know - (but you need proof)

    The FDCPA prohibits many common collection practices such as:

    1. Telling someone other than you or your spouse details about your
    collection account(s) without prior authority from you.

    2. Calling you at work after you have told the debt collector not to
    contact you at work.

    3. Threatening to take any action against you that they do not take or
    intend to take. (Examples include falsely threatening to take you to
    Court and falsely threatening to garnish your wages.)

    4. Falsely threatening to garnish your wages prior to a lawsuit being
    filed against you for the debt.

    5. Cursing, yelling or using obscene and / or profane language.

    6. Repeated harassing phone calls including calling multiple times a
    day to annoy, abuse or harass.

    7. Threatening Arrest or Jail.

    8. Impersonating court employees including judges, clerks, etc.

    9. Impersonating law enforcement officers (Police, Sheriff or federal
    A collector may contact third parties to try and locate you. But they can only ask for your phone number and where you work. They cannot tell others that you owe money, and in most cases, can only contact a third party one time.

    You will get through this. I try to remind myself when going through a really $hitty time is that "x" amount of time later, I won't barely remember that incident.

    I agree with the others - timing is bad with the guy, but be glad that you didn't invest one more moment or piece of your heart.

    Your last paragraph really struck a chord with me. I'm a natural optimist. Been pretty tough lately. I still am optimistic in general - but right now I feel if one more thing lands on my shoulders I'm going to fall to the ground. I SO understand. I keep telling myself to get all of this crap out of the way - it's much harder when things happen all at once. Remnd yourself that it's just unfortunate timing. Try to separate each issue out so that they don't seem so insurmountable. At least that's what I'm trying to tell myself to do. =)

    Do NOT lose hope. Hope is one thing that can be in the palm of your hand. You may "drop" it momentarily, or misplace it - but you don't have to lose it. Sometimes you have to look for it, but it won't be far from you if you keep your eyes (heart and mind) open.

    Hope your day is better tomorrow!!
  7. momof27

    momof27 New Member

  8. jasminetee

    jasminetee Member

    I'm so sorry to hear things are going badly for you. You do always stay upbeat in spite of all you go through. That guy that left you doesn't deserve you. I hope you meet someone nice and worthy of you. It's great that you're dating. :)

    I'll say prayers for you and I hope things get better soon. You are due for some good things to happen.