for elasticgirl

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by 69mach1, Feb 24, 2006.

  1. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    hi there i wished i lived near you i am sure we would be great friends...i have been in your shoes...i may be getting my ssdi but that isn't enough to cover my rent at this moment..they owe me back pay for my son's monthly allotment of 420 a month plus my 850 a month...then that will be just enough to cover my rent of a 2 bedroom apt, this is not a lavish place...they take section 8 vouchers so that should tell you something..

    i stay here for my son so he can complete his high school education..i have been on the section 8 wating list for nearly 4 years now...i just pray i get mine soon...

    i went three years w/child support..sold my 69 mach 1 mustang, comedian/actor eddie murphy owned it was in the movie metro..

    it toally sucks i spent up savings i had for a divorce...i didn't get physicall;y abused but cheated on and when they are cheatng on you they are also verbally belittling you to make themselves feel better, not so gulity....

    i had to go file for tanf...file for non-profts to help w/my rent....

    i was ready to move bac to michigan in st. iganance...which my psychologist reccomended that i didn't go there...because that is where my most recent memory of him molesting me in my bed i shared w/my little 4 year old sister..in a hotle room that my relatives owned...anyways, i was going to move back there just to get a section 8 voucher so i could transfer it out back here so my son could finsih up school out here and see is father that at the time was not paying child support....

    i had his union members breaking the law for him to conceal where he worked...he wasa living with some 25 year old stripper...and yes i found out recently abouta month ago she stayed up late until the wee hours w/my the, maybe 13 year old son trying to put some moves on him and showing him pornography magazines...his dad didn't know about it eiter at the time...cody told his dad aftet the dad finally left her after she cheated on him w/his good friend...

    i do not feel a bit sorry for him in the respect...

    i am getting some child support..the past couple months i am not getting the amount oredeed because he gets a week off during the holidays..he gets a lump sum holiday check and vacation thru the union trust fund...of curse he claims he doesnt' get paid for that thought..

    anyways...i urge to please go modify the child support...i am hopeing it will make a difference for you and your son...i know when you are disabled you can get up to 50% sometimes 60% of their check...

    i know they take into account what the fathers or noncustodial parents own as well...they are used to them concealing property...

    well i just want you to know i care about you and your son and if i ever make it back out to michigan we will need to meet sometime...


    hugs to my friend

    jodie
  2. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

  3. elastigirl

    elastigirl New Member

    I agree, we have a lot in common. Too bad we don't live closer :).

    I was really sad yesterday and just did not log back in. I usually get sad on days when my son goes to stay with his dad.

    My ex barely had in an increase in income last year. (He might have falsified the tax document he gave me, though.) I noticed (in our phone conversations) that he refused a lot of overtime. Turns out he used a lot of that time to work on the side bathroom remodel jobs for cash.

    My friend who is his neighber made it sound like a "few" jobs, or probably five-ish. He makes $1-2K labor on those cash jobs. If he made, $10K, his son and I are out $1,700 in child support.

    Because these are cash jobs, I cannot prove he's doing it. And I don't want to get my neighbor in trouble with him, so I don't want to drag her into a support battle. So I'll just let this be another shameful thing he will have to bear on his on conscience. He does have one; he just chooses to ignore it.

    He is not the same guy as the plumber; the plumber fellow was from long ago, when I was in my early twenties. Big time user, flirter (with other women,) insulter.

    I realize after all these years, I never had self-esteem. My mother never complimented or supported me in anything. I was raised to believe I was worthless -- "a good for nothing, lazy kid." My mother threatened to "sell me to the gypsies for a quarter," over and over again. Didn't help that one of my aunt's was a genuine gypsy -- ugghhh! I can count the number of times my mother (sincerely) complimented me in my childhood on one hand.

    So if any man looked my way, I believed that I had to kiss his feet to make him love me. I become subserviant, a door mat. I even supported him.

    Only having a child made me realize I have some worth. I am a good mother; despite tremendous odds, I have that.

    Now I see men completely differently. A man must add to our lives, be kind to my son, and be a man of quality before I would ever consider dating him. I realize now that a man must respect, support and love the woman he's with.

    It took a long time, but I don't think I would ever put up with the kind of emotinal and verbal abuse I used to again in my lifetime. I will never put up with physical abuse.

    Changing the subject, I cannot remember why I did not qualify for section 8. I applied when I first thought of leaving my ex. Can't remember what happened with out; so much paperwork, you know?

    I think it's a shame and a disgrace to this country that women must spend every last penny -- and go into debt -- to leave an abusive person. (I think cheating is abusive.) There should be a cost effective way to get away from abuse. Women should NOT have to face a life of poverty just because they want to protect their children from witnessing abuse.

    Oh well, not much I can do about that. What's done is done.

    Hugs to you too :).

    elastigirl

    P.S. I am very sorry to hear you had sexual abuse in your life, and that your son may have too. It's very scary, what people will do.

    My ex would sneak up behind me, to 'hug' me, but would actually grab my breasts in front of anyone -- including his mother and teenaged nephews. He wouldn't take his hands away. I would have to pry them off. He thought it was a hoot.

    Now I'm afraid he'll do the same sort of thing in front of our son. And heaven knows what else. I know there were times he wanted to make out in front of his nephews. I would not permit it. Sick stuff![This Message was Edited on 02/25/2006]
  4. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    i know when i went to my local child support thing, da's office they could look up and tel me how much he mad from june thru sept 05...good money...

    so i understand about the neighbor thing and the cash jobs...but you could always supeana her...youo need to take care of you and your son...

    jodie