Hey all, I just wanted to share with you a poem I wrote today about my battle with depression. But I hope the Lord use what I have written to minister to others. This poem is unlike anything I've ever written before. But it was healing for me to write it. In Christ, LMS526 The Battle Here I am again Fighting a battle and an enemy I’ve fought so many times before. The enemy has me surrounded. Even though I can’t seem them I know without a doubt they are there I am outnumbered I am the prey The enemy is strong, powerful, and relentless How do you defend yourself Against an invisible enemy? The enemy has every advantage Since I am alone and unarmed I am quickly overpowered They ambush me And take me captive They bind me tightly and Take me where I don’t want to go They are in complete control I am completely at their mercy It is futile to resist For a moment, I feel a flicker of hope Maybe this time will be different Maybe this time they will be kind Or someone else will see And rescue me But it doesn’t take long For that hope to disappear Like the flame of a candle It is extinguished. I am taken away Miles away from anywhere The enemy takes pleasure In my pain They delight in mocking and torturing me They tell me I am theirs My life is in their hands I know its true They tell me I am pathetic and worthless In my heart I wonder if it is true I fall to my knees From sheer exhaustion I beg for mercy But they show me none The enemy knows how to inflict maximum pain With minimum effort They show no remorse. Finally, I can’t hold back the tears Any longer Both blood and tears are flowing freely My feeble cries for help only Make them laugh louder. I am held against my will For months at a time Then suddenly, without a word I am released I stagger along Weak, bleeding, exhausted and broken I stumble in the darkness But somehow I always find my way home I live in constant fear of Being captured again I know from experience It’s only a matter of time. Outwardly everything looks okay But I know the truth I am just going through the motions I die a little more every day Isolated, hurting, and afraid I watch helplessly as life passes me by There are people all around me Yet still I feel alone They just don’t understand And I don’t have the words to explain Many mean well But still inflict more pain on my Already bruised and battered Heart and soul They ask me questions For which I have no answers. “Why can’t you just let this go?” “Snap out of it.” “Why can’t you just be happy?” “You choose to act like this.” “Stop being so negative.” Their words ring in my ears I wish I could make them understand But how can I When I don’t understand it myself. I know without a doubt That words can cut like a knife “If you would believe for you healing you would have it.” “This is a sign that you have unconfessed sin in your life. Confess and repent.” “Depression is a sin. Christians shouldn’t get depressed.” Though these words are often left unspoken The message comes through loud and clear. I try to explain But my words fall on deaf ears Everyone knows its easier to Dismiss, judge and condemn Than to try to really understand I am sick and tired of being treated Like I have some kind of contagious disease I am sick of feeling like an outsider and a freak Always on the outside looking in Every morning I slip on my mask With its plastic smile But underneath I am in pain Walking wounded Then then I learn That I am not alone There are others like me Who have fought battles of their own They are kindred spirits They help me when I fall And love me completely Through it all In complete anonymity I can speak freely Without fear of judgement They truly understand Because they have been there too They take my hand and Gently and freely Offer me Encouragement, understanding, Comfort and compassion. I thank God for them And hope they know I am here for them too I want to help In any way I can As together We make our way Down this long and Often difficult road I know its true If one falls A friend can help you up I pity those who have No one to help In times of sorrow and trouble Alone, I am easily overpowered But I am finding There is strength in numbers And that true strength Comes only from Him December 3, 2006.