For My Friends Over Sixty

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Marta608, Aug 9, 2008.

  1. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    "So How Do You Like Old Age?

    Old Age, I decided, is a gift. I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don't agonize over those things for long. I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.

    I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too Soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

    Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon?
    I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60&70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love .. I will.

    I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.

    I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

    Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

    I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver

    As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

    So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)"
  2. ckball

    ckball New Member

    And you DON'T have to be over 60 to appreciate these things in life.

    So many miss out on the importance of being yourself because they are so busy trying to please everyone else or work to have that huge home or those new cars.

    They miss out on the quiet times with themselves and others while chasing their happiness in the the next vacation or new gadget.

    That happiness is inside each and every one of us, WE have to dig inside to find it and allow ourselves the joy of happiness and know WE ARE WORTH IT, not in the job, money or others-Carla
  3. Denamay

    Denamay New Member

    What you say is so true.

    My life has gotten better each decade over the age of 40.

    I will be 70 before long, how good is that?

    It is great to do what you want, when you want, with whom you want.

    Sure, I am not as good lookimg or as slim as I once was.

    My health could be better too but, all, in all life is sweeter now than it was then.

    For every loss in life there is a pay off, in the end is the bigest and best payoff of all?

    Love from over sixty Denamay

    PS. Love your cat.
    [This Message was Edited on 08/09/2008]
  4. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    We two feel great for being 60 love Goldie and Cher!!!
  5. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    Yes, Marta !! Thanks for those words. They are so true. Also if we don;t want to celebrate our birthdays we don't have to (-: !!! BTW, I am 29 again in October.

    Georgia - and yes you don;t havae to be 60 or over to feel this wat too.


  6. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    I will soon be 66 and my life is the worst it has ever been and I am not handling it very well. Oh, for the peace, freedom you spoke of.

    My income is gone, due to my children's job losses etc. cause I have tried to help. I am now helping raise my 2 greatgran daughters, which my daughter has custody of. My daughter is a widow, on methadone for pain. Her oldest daughter, the mother of the two little ones had rater party and be with some guy than her precious daughters.

    My youngest son lost his business, his wife left him now he has moved back in with us, he does work but has so many debts from his now x-wife he will never be on his own.

    I try to keep the little ones, work one day a week, my husband has gone back to working 4 days a week, he had retired. He and I both feel trapped and don't know how to handle all this when this is suppose to be out time.

    If it wasn't for our health issues I think I could handle all this better.

    Oh, our two other children live away and are doing good on their own, if the other two were like them then we might could enjoy our golden years.

    Maybe this is God's plan for me at this age,


  7. sisland

    sisland New Member

    What wonderful words you have written! Thanks!,,,Makes one stop and Think about it all,,,,,,,,S
  8. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    I was surprised to see the posts here because I'm not getting notified when one arrives. That's fine because I check in every few days but I was still surprised.

    I must hasten to say that I didn't write the words; they were forwarded to me by a friend with no author's name included. When I read it I felt that if would help if we could all work toward feeling more this way instead of struggling to stay young. I'm thinking of the "stars" and their plastic surgery, etc. although I can think of some parts I'd like to have tucked.

    Greatgran, it sounds as if you've been given some lessons to learn late in life. Man, do I hate it when that happens!!!! I know because I have some of my own that keep following me around. ;>/ Anyway, that's what I believe, that we have lessons to learn in this life and we'll be nagged by them until we learn them. Others do too, and it's hard not to want to "make it all bedder" for those we love.

    Hugs to all my friends here, no matter how old you are,
  9. Denamay

    Denamay New Member

    I think that I came across as having every thing under control and life is perfect for me. Not so, it is just a lot better than it was years ago.

    I do'nt think that that I could handle what you have on your plate. Your advantage is your wisdom, loving heart, and practical view of life.

    I think you are doing a a great job in dealing with the many resposibilities that life has thrown at you. You must be a very strong person.

    By the way your pic. in your profile is very nice, such good looking young people, They must take after their gran and great gran. From another great gran Denamay
  10. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    Thank you for your encouragement, sorry I didn't mean to have a pity party but it is so hard as I get older to handle things.

    I have had a 2 day crying spell and don't even know what I am crying about.I think by the weekend I am so mentally and physically exhausted. No, I don't feel like I am handling this well at all. My husband and I have no time or money for us, haven't been on a vacation in 6 years.

    I have a lot to be thankful for and I am but I am really getting sick and tired of rasing families, now is that cruel.

    Then I look at those little ones and my heart breaks so for now I don't understand but feel this is my purpose in life. So will try to accept and do the best I can.

    Thanks and God Bless,
  11. Didoe

    Didoe New Member

    I'm havin similar conversations with myself, but for very differentg reasons.
    I am alone except for the cats, after thinking I had buil;t a family and secured against loneliness as and retirement and death comes close.

    My mother who hated the sight of me usually made it clear with long side stares looking me up down making sure I never was gettig close to her years of being a model.
    Shes dead.
    Ex husband is out there, I'm getting hangup at work again...Kids are growing on the bumpy road of life

    I was the litter runt, never attractive, the playground ball fetcher, an excuse for girlhood, I never had a 'girlhood' I was raising my mother as she tended the alcoholic who terrified us all every evening...gone are the molesting uncles, strange cousins, sister, moved away or moved 6ft under, but the end result is, I am alone.

    when people praise this state, lauding they can eat when and wat they want...or shower, cwap and shave where they like, finish the milk and leave the empty cart in the fridge...all well an good, but what a low stndard of life nd wanting to continue living based these pathetic 'liberties.'

    and now with all the stellar social bloodsuckers all gone, the same fears remain, but I must deal with them myself. I cut most of my hair off, stopped wearing makeup, I have no prospects and dont need to hope for one anymore at 53.

    this wasn't meant to wind down to a whine...its just a sadness of giving up expectations of anything further coming my way in any capacity to make a mark before being buried. even publishing costs a fortune. good night, ambien calls.
  12. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    Your post helped me feel not so alone in feeling the way I do.

    Sorry, things are bad for you but I can so relate to what you are saying.

    If it wasn't for this darn DD I think I would be a fighter and I feel I am but my fighting is so weak and I get so tired of trying and no light at the end of the tunnel.

    Keep hanging on don't give up hope, we have to go on.

    God Bless you,
  13. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    Thank you both for reminding us all that the attitude the writer speaks of is not easy to come by. I, too, struggle with it daily.

    Didoe, I had a childhood like yours in the alcoholism part and my dad was "on the road" with his job. There was just me and my very unpredictable mother and it was hard. I do have kids who I'm pretty sure love me (and two cats, like you), but the kids are busy with their own lives and their own challenges now, as they should be. I see them rarely. Gran, every day I have to work not to be pulled down by my concerns for one of my sons.

    So I'm not saying it's easy. I don't think life was ever meant to be. That's the stuff of marketing firms. Still, if we don't learn to count our blessings, the miseries'll get us for sure.

    Every day I get up and say Thank you, God, that I don't live in Iraq or Iran.

  14. sixtyslady

    sixtyslady Member

    I wish I could be healtier,as I"m sure we all do.
    I don"t know if I think being older is any better than when I was young,its just different I don"t feel the need to impress people anymore if they like me fine if they don"t care for me thats o.k. too.
    when I look back there were good and bad times then also.
    I was left with 3 little girls and on my own ,my husband left us without a look back.and people in the community thought he was great because he married another women and adopted her 3 children,but payed no attention to his girls.
    I lost my Father when he was 55, it just about knock the life from me.
    I did remarried and helped raise 7 children with my new hubby,and it was a very hard time. But there were good times in those lean years also.
    I helped my Mom, after Dad passed,and Mom lived to be 80.
    We've lost parents, siblings, inlaws, and friends in the last 6yrs. to many to count.MY oldest daughter had to have open heart surgery when she was 15. my youngest Daughter had cancer when she was still in her 20,s and my hubby was burned over 50% of his body in a work related accident.
    I"ve only become stronger in my faith through this, and I thank God that I mostly remember the good times. even though I"m in pain every day.
    I try to think of 1 good thing that has happened everyday ,that helps. yesterday was watching my Granddaughter ride a beautiful big paint Horse in the round pen,out of my kitchen window.
    today was smelling the new natural soap I bought.
    I think all ages are good,there just different. sixtyslady