Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by kjade, May 8, 2008.

  1. kjade

    kjade New Member

    Hi Elaine!

    I just wanted to write to tell you that I saw your "silly" post about your crush writing a letter about Jason and it did give me a chuckle. See when I am at work, I have to minimize the screen so I can barely see it. I make it very small in the corner of my computer so the "IDIOTS" around me who seem to be so interested in my every move don't see what I am up to. They are so nosy, and they make me CRAZY!!

    Anyway, I went on quickly today on a break and found the AI thread. As you know, Jason left last night, and I was devastated. I wanted to post a quick note there (which I have to do by writing in a word doc very small, then pasting here - I am sooooo sneaky). Then I saw your I started to write a (lenghty) reply thanking you for supporting me with my Jason obsession - I was writing in a word doc, so I had to do it in small increments since the idiots are always peering over my shoulder!

    When I finally finished, I came to post it here, but you must have deleted your original thread, cause it was gone. I am so sorry I did not reply sooner!

    But I wanted to say thanks for trying to cheer me up - I was TOTALLY inconsolable last night and today. Your post did make me laugh. You have been making me laugh about the Jason thing since it first started. Of course, you understand....I know you do.

    I had a lot to sort out in my head today; like why I was sooooo upset about this. I found comfort in the AI boards, and a very good friend I made there. She felt exactly like I did....we both felt like we had just lost a pet or something. It was a very sickening and unusual feeling, over a reality show. To be comepletly honest, I felt this morning like I did when my dog had passed - it was that bad. I didn't want to get out of bed.

    So I really had to dig deep and figure out "rationally" WHY this was so depressing. I know I am sane and have my *stuff* together. I have had enough therapy over the years to understand that I was not being normal today. Then I emailed my friend from AI, and I knew right away what the issue was. I wrote about it on the AI thread, so I don't want to duplicate again here.

    I'm sorry if you think I ignored you or your post....I was trying to respond, but I do have real-life "trolls" at my job that make things difficult.

    Again, thank you for being there and listening to all the Jason nonsense. I am so proud of him, I think I will go and cry some more about him. At least I can listen to him now, and not fall apart.....I am making progress!! Hope to hear from you soon!!

    How are YOU feeling? What is going on with IM?

    [This Message was Edited on 05/08/2008]
  2. springwater

    springwater Active Member

    Sorry for butting in but i was looking for your posts after Jasons leaving because i was hoping you wouldnt take it too hard. And i saw this post. Just wanted to say Im sorry. I know how much you like the guy and he was the sweetest on AI next to David A. You do seem to be sensibly analysing the whole thing. Youre gonna be fine. If its any consolation you know theres millions of you out there mourning Jasons exit and that youre not alone. He did seem the kind who wouldnt sell out doing things he wasnt comfy with or singing songs he didnt like. Not quite what AI wants right? But speaks volumes of his character.

    God Bless

  3. kjade

    kjade New Member

    First of all, Springwater, thank you for butting in and offering your condolences. I appreciate that so much. I'm sure you can understand how hard this was for someone like me to take. I realize it is only a reality show, and this kid has a great future in store.....I was just more bothered by my reaction. I knew I was not being rational. But I used everything I have learned in therapy over the years, and I was able to sort things out, in my head. I met some great Jason fans online who have helped me also....they felt as horrible as I felt. In fact, I actually helped some of them. Some were worse off than I was (if you can imagine that!!!)

    Elaine: Sorry about IM....this just doesn't seem to be going so well. One thing that is of utmost importance is your health. And if he is dragging you down, then you really should walk away. I am glad to see you are doing that.

    From all that you have written, he sounds like a nice enough guy, but he seems a little self-centered and does not understand what your needs are in this relationship. It goes both ways....this guy seems to be all over the place!

    It also seems as though he has too many things going on to be there for you, like you need him to be. Not that you are being needy at all - I think I know you, and I don't think you are sounding "needy" in any way.

    The fact that he mentioned as an after-thought about being there for you during this medical crisis just doesn't jive....he should have known better. BUT...I could be wrong. Have you talked since you wrote this?

    Sorry, I didn't see this message last night. I am so busy now with my boys' baseball and everything I can only pop in quickly, so I didn't see this right away.

    Are you ok though? Is everything going ok with your treatments? I am confident that all will be ok.

    And if this is not the guy for you, there WILL be someone. Only time will tell. I am jealous of you in some ways....I wish I could date like you do (but I happen to be tied to someone, so I can't be out and about on the dating circuit!)

    Well, I just hope you are doing well.....let me know if anything else has happened since you wrote this.