For those who have and love dogs and cats ...

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by jaltair, Oct 12, 2007.

  1. jaltair

    jaltair New Member

    Dogs and cats are better than kids

    Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

    1. Eat less
    2. Don’t ask for money all the time
    3 Are easier to train
    4. Normally come when called
    5. Never ask to drive the car
    6. Don’t hang out with drug-using friends
    7. Don’t smoke or drink
    8. Don’t have to buy the latest fashions
    9. Don’t want to wear your clothes
    10. Don’t need a ‘gazillion’ dollars for college.

    And finally,

    11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

    ________________________

    To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height:

    Dear Dogs and Cats,

    The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

    The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help because I fall faster than you can run.

    I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

    For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, and try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years — canine or feline attendance is not required.

    The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat’s butt. I cannot stress this enough!

    To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door: To All Non-Pet Owners…

    ________________________

    To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

    1 They live here. You don’t.
    2. If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That’s why they call it ‘fur’niture.)
    3. I like my pets a lot better than I like some people.
    4. To you, it’s an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn’t speak clearly.

    ____________________________________

    I just needed a laugh and had to share this one with all of you!

    L, Jeannette
  2. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    I especially like the last paragraph for non-pet owners and visitors.

    My Sam and Mick will be here when I need to cry... will you?

    budmickl
  3. Greenbean7

    Greenbean7 New Member

    This part is pretty much what I wanted to tell my MIL. I didn't have to, my DH did instead and she actually apologized for hitting my dog (which I didn't know about until I caught her swinging her lap desk at him and told her not to hit my dog. She said I've hit him before!). I should post this part on my front door!


    To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

    1 They live here. You don’t.
    2. If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That’s why they call it ‘fur’niture.)
    3. I like my pets a lot better than I like some people.
    4. To you, it’s an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn’t speak clearly.

    Thanks for sharing.

    Hugzz
    Greenbean
  4. victoria

    victoria New Member

    but regarding why they're better (ie, easier!) than kids, there's 2 missing:
    1) you can put the dogs outside when they're misbehaving...
    2) you can go on trips and put them in a kennel...

    it's what we said pre-children when some friends tried to tell us we weren't really 'responsible' or 'grown-up' until we had kids... it made them really crazy, hehehe!

    LOL even tho we were planning on kids and eventually had 2, a grown-up is mature with or without kids, in our humble opinions!


    [This Message was Edited on 10/13/2007]