for those who still work, how is your boss?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by jaynesez, May 5, 2009.

  1. jaynesez

    jaynesez New Member

    I'm asking because although my boss says he understands, the load of responsibilty I carry is ridiculous! There are times I can barely walk, I'm plainly exhausted, and he just keeps throwing additional work at me, along with all that I'm responsible for everyday. I used to like my job, but it's getting to the point that I can't keep up. If I call in sick I'm made to feel guilty, as if the whole place will come to a complete halt without me. I've been trying to find an easier job but in this economy it is hard, and of course I need health insurance.. just wondering how your boss treats you, if they are accomadating (sp?), understanding, etc. I do administrative work, and used to be very smart and able to do three things at one time, but I can't even spell words anymore, nor type without dyslexia, etc. I'd like to know how others are being treated in their workplace, and what type of work you're doing (if that's ok).
    Thanks,
    Jayne
  2. ANGELEO728

    ANGELEO728 New Member

    It's hard most days to drag myself out of bed and get to work on time if at all. I work in a factory and do quality evaluation. Mostly clerical work. My boss is okay. I am in a union however and that does help a bit. It's my coworkers that make life hard. This disease is not visible to other people. If they don't SEE your illness they don't believe you are sick. Do you have an FMLA? If not, get one from your doctor. It's necessary for chronic pain patients since you never know what you may feel like the next day.


    I wish i could get disability, but have never tried. I just cant take the time off to make a case strong enough for it. I have a 3 YO son and money is tight so taking off for weeks at a time are not acceptable for me.

    Hope you feel better and hope this helps!!
  3. FMsaddenedspirit

    FMsaddenedspirit New Member

    When I was finally DX ed with Fibro . I was working as an Assistant superviosr in a Call center. very stressfule work . I do,, thank goodness have FMLA . and took short trerm Disibility for awhile . when i came back to work i demoted myself took a small pay cust and now do my work from home. I take Resoluions calls. so its still stressfule but not the the same extent.
    I wonder every day how much longer I can do this... I even work a split shift 4 hrs on 2 off and then 4 on... I nape most days during my two hr break... and once i get off work .. thats it .. I'm so done in for .
    its scares me . .. as I really think i should not be trying to work .. but at this point need to . at least until i have some bills paid off. i hope I can make it that long. . feels like I'm working myself into an early grave most days. . not to sound bad . but hey...
    I cry every day from fatiuge and pain. my pain meds don;t work so well anymore. .

    anyway thats my story .

    Stress really does have a bad affect on us.. really bad...

    I pays for the best for you .. hang in there...... and yes I understand .. I used to be able to multi task also ... now its one thing at a time. and thats a struggle.

    best of luck
  4. Rockismom

    Rockismom New Member

    Has treated me absolutely wonderful lately...I think this is because she has heard through the grapevine that I have been thinking about turning in my resignation.

    She was never very supportive until recently. I've had ADA meetings that were nothing but nerve wrecking time wasters and I will add that my HR director will not support FMLA. I have requested this time and again but he avoids me and my e-mail requests.

    I have been here for 25+ years (same position) and I used to love my job. I know it inside and out but it is next to impossible these days to concentrate and even harder to learn new things. (Especially new computer techniques...an absolute necessity to do my work.)

    There are days when I am not sure how I am going to make the drive home. Sometime I trade eating lunch for taking a nap. Last Thursday I almost fell asleep while driving home. I was less than 1/4 mile from home and in the country...thank goodness! This really frightens me!
    (I have had the sleep study and do have sleep apnea.)

    If not for our mortgage payment I would have thrown in the towel a long time ago, but I feel that until I just can't get out of bed I will try everything possible to get here...whether I get my tasks accomplished or not...there is always tomorrow...I pray!

    Blessings,
    Rockismom
  5. sweetbeatlvr

    sweetbeatlvr New Member

    my boss and the people i work with know i have an illness, but because i am young, and don't look sick (but mostly because i am young), i don't think they believe me. i think they probably think i'm just a hypochondriac or liar or something. so i just keep my mouth shut, and keep on going.

    i have given up on trying to convince anyone that i am sick. i just go about my day, the best i can, and sympathize with myself.=)

    my job is pretty physical work, which i believe, in a way, helps me to keep going (keeps my muscles limber).

    i sympathize with you all that have a hard time keeping up, and pray that you will find a way to keep going, however that may be.
  6. Didoe

    Didoe New Member

    Hi
    I haven't posted here for quite a while, but want to share some thoughts.
    I'm 55, have diagnosed severe rhuematoid arthritis and FM-I dont have to explain the daily pain and limitations I deal with. I taqke the subway to and from work, that is the worst part, but I also work with people in a small college community who could care less about anything other than 'getting the job done'
    Late night meeetings, events, multiple deadlines for articles and projects--imagine dealing with these things while being fogged and in pain. I keep going until I crash and crash I do, chills, nausea and pain so bad none of my usual arsenal works.

    But you asked about work; what is legally on the 'books' is theory, what goes on with individual employers, large and small, is based solely on the humanity of the admins in that place of work--you can try to fight for rights, for accomodations and I had to do that and explain what is wrong with articles, notes from docs, meetings and asking for accomodations should not be the tortuous experience it was for me. And even with being granted some adjustments of having my work proofed or adjusting my hours, I still have to meet deadlines, chair meetings, and do everything in my job, so in reality, its very difficult.

    The only advantage is at my age and with my medical record I might qualify for LTD, but its a risk of not being approved by our private insurance company that keeps me pushing myself to work-there's only me to support me, if that fails, its the street. I think knowing how close to the edge I actually do live, is part of alot of my illness, its simply terrifying for me, I dont take life easily:)

    My suggestion is: if a person can keep their medical issues private, that is best. Employers find ways of putting pressure on staff they know are ill or unable to do what's needed, even if its years after performing well and being productive. Depression from these illnesses is a whole other issue, not for here, but very important to think about, disclosing depression brings the curtain down on anyone who does so--they no longer hear you, you are regarded as a flake or outright mental case and nothing further medically is taken seriously...its all in your head.
    A good doctor is more valuable than all the meds in the world, you cant realy survive work or being ill at these levels without medical support.

    I wish you much luck and strength, if you need any further info, just ask.
  7. jaynesez

    jaynesez New Member

    and sorry for the delay in thanking you! Just from the answers these posts gave me I see we are in a variety of situations, I can't imagine working in a factory standing, nor could I take the subway. I am glad to hear that some people are accomodating, because I recognize that most are not, they are simply concerned with the bottom line, and yes Didoe, we are at their mercy, and when they're stressed or under a deadline then it just rolls downhill! I am going to try and find a counselor that my lousy insurance will pay for, someone I can go and talk to.
    Thanks again and I wish you all a stress free, pain free day!
    Jayne
  8. hi all,
    ive managed to work for three hours,in the afternoon,for three years now.and my boss is very happy with my work

    .he knows that if im off work, its most probably due to migraines and being weak due to vomiting bouts.

    im lucky that my boss and myself, have a good working relationship (his words, but i agree with him).

    ive never had such a good boss in my life,and feel very lucky.

    he will either let me make my missing hours up the next morning,or will find cover for me.

    i do feel sorry that im having a few more times off work (due to recession/ money worries), these roughly cause two migraine attacks, each month.

    ive always been treated fairly by my boss,and do appriate that im still in a job that i enjoy.

    im angry with my migraines,but who isnt,they are horrid.

    i try not to think about the future,and enjoy each day as it arrives.

    love fran
  9. Chelz

    Chelz New Member

    Jaynesez, I work full time in a hospital. I work a clerical job in medical records. I have to say that my supervisor is wonderful. As far as the work load goes, well it's medical records, and it is just a tough job.

    The reason I say my supervisor is wonderful is that when anyone in the department is sick for whatever reason, she is very understanding and wants you to stay home. She doesn't give you a guilty feeling at all about staying home as long as it doesn't get abused or anything.

    Now, the medical director we used to have was nasty. She would pile on the work so heavy, that I literally didn't think I would be able to continue to work under her ways. My supervisor also piles on the work, but she wants you to talk to her and let her know if you need help in any area and she is basically kind.

    I too suffer from all the cognitive symptoms of having FM, it is such a struggle, but I try to use a sense of humor and I basically "fake it" just to get through the day.

    Somtimes I will be talking to someone, and I just forgot what I just said, or I am slow in trying to explain a difficult situation, I forget my passwords on my computer, and sometimes I will just stare out into space just so I can get my head back together just to concentrate on what I am doing. It is such a struggle.

    Sometimes I just want to shout out to everyone, "I have FM", just leave me alone. But, I know that is not appropriate and I have to find a way to do the job like everyone else, but it's sooooooo hard to do. I know how you feel.

    I say that if you still can work, having a decent boss is a GIFT. I know that in past jobs, I had horrendous bosses that would never understand this condition, although my present boss does not know I have FM, she does know I have migraines and back issues because I feel safe in telling her that, I would not feel safe telling her about the FM, even though she is kind, I just know that this condition is just too poorly understood by many people, except all of you here on this board, I know you understand.

    The funny thing is this, I know, and work a little with so many doctors, and I don't think I would tell any of them, kinda sad but true. Hugs, Chelz.