Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by Kimerella, Mar 14, 2002.

  1. Kimerella

    Kimerella Member

    I have been pretty unhappy lately. Starting around Christmas time I started having horrible fatigue. Up until then, I was doing pretty good dealing with the FM/MPS. Needless to say, this constant fatigue curtails my life even more than before.

    This morning I was praying for all of you, in general and specifically. When I was done, I remembered that it used to be a habit of mine to ask God, "Who do I need to forgive today?" Always a person came to mind. It could be someone close or a third grade teacher that was mean to me.

    When I realized I had not ask God for this guidance for a long time, I ask, "Who do I need to forgive today?" Immedialtely EVERYONE in my life came to mind.

    Now, of course, most of these people have done nothing to need forgiveness. They are simply living their lives and moving forward. This, I realized, has been a source of resentment for me. That others can move through their days and plan things. It is very hard to sit here and watch the world go by. I did not realize I was holding this resentment until I ask God to show me. These people are easy to forgive. And then, I must forgive myself for holding resentments against innocence.

    Some I will need to look at and see if there are any issues to be addressed. I will forgive them for being human, but deal with any issues I need to discuss with them.

    The most important thing will be to forgive myself.

    Just realizing this had already made me feel lighter. My pain and fatigue are still the same, but my spirit is free. For me, healing my spirit is just as, if not more, important than healing the physical.

    Many times in my life spiritual freedom has started with forgiveness. I am going to try to remember to ask God every morning who it is I should forgive. God can remove pain...I just have to ask.


    I had to look up forgiveness in the dictionary because it didn't look right...this happens to me every once in awhile with the simplest of words. My dictionary is always close.

    This is a partial deifinition of Forgive:

    1) to give up resentment or the desire to punish; stop being angry with; pardon 2) to give up all claim to punish or exact penalty for (an offense).

    (Note: Forgiveness means letting go, not taking in someone elses pain or anger. And, certainly, not letting someone continue to hurt you.)

    I just had to share with all of you this morning. Thanks for listening.

    I hope this day will bring you all the forgiveness you are seeking and even more to give.


  2. Cactuslil

    Cactuslil New Member

    While reading your post I was drawn to the scriptural reference that under the law, a man was to forgive another any debt he may have held.
    I have not gone to my scriptures to cite the "where" of this lesson, you may already know, but often I have envisioned having the opportunity to go to someone and be able to tell them any monies (debt) owed to me are forgiven.

    What a tremendous relief that would be to the debtor; to carry the lesson further, as you did, would truly bring peace two times over.

    I truly enjoyed your post. Love Cactuslil'
  3. Rene_M

    Rene_M New Member

    Haven't posted here before, though have popped in a time or two. I am aware of the need to forgive and make a fairly regular practice of it. Am really struggling in my heart over my dgtr's father and her husb. In the past I'm sure I've forgiven them, yet "they know not what they do". I'm overcome this week recognizing their adverse impact on our lives.
    Thanks for sharing,
    Luv, Rene M
  4. RoseTx

    RoseTx New Member

    Tonight I am just really needing answers and I have had an awful day and I have been soooo angry. I had reason to be angry but I did not have any excuse for the way I handled the anger. It seems that since Jim's death I only have two moods and that is so overwhelmed with grief thaat I just sit and scream into a pillow and sob or I am just so angry that I hate the entire world and until I read your post I did not realize that what I am angry about is that other people are just going about their own business and my world seems to have ended and God won't take me also. I had no ideaa why or where the anger was coming from. Now I realize why I am angry, perhaps I can controll some of it. I know I will not be able to do this without the intervention of our Father. Please, keep me always in the constant prayers you have in your mind. I find that I have never faced any test because Jim protected me from everything he could possiably manage. I am so weak and I did not know this. Jim allowed me to feel I could kick butt and take names and my dear sisters, it is just not so. I just can not kick any butt over this and I need heavenly intervention in the worst way. Pray for me to have the strength to over come this awful grief... I have to get over this pain. I cannot live with this. I simply can not bear this... it is so much and I know I am not special and have not had anything strange happen to me. It seems to get worse every day instead of getting more manageable. Forgive me for whinning. Please, pray for me. Rose
  5. Jackie F

    Jackie F New Member

    We are not to make known our petitions to God until we have asked for forgiveness and forgiven all whom have sinned against us.
    So, for me, that says, that none of my prayers/needs are going to be met as long as I have any unspoken unforgiveness or have not forgiven others.

    Rose, my dear friend! Are you angry at Jim for leaving you? This is very common and normal. Dad was angry that Mom left first. It took him a while to recognize it. He had to have a little help in seeing it.
    He knew in his heart that it was God's will but his brain was still a little angry that she left first. It was suppose to be him, in all their conversations. He felt abandoned and even a little betrayed. He felt guilty for having those feelings so he hid it in anger at the world in general. BUT his was deeply hidden because he continued to Teach and speak about his illness. But when he would go home at night and she wasn't there he would fester and boil. Then when I was able to convince him he was angry with Mom, he was able to write about it and move on, somewhat.
    He had to deal with all the guilt for not being the husband he thought he should have been too. Have you gone there yet? Little things that would happen would bring to his mind areas he had been less than a great hubby in his mind.
    I hope I have helped you see some areas that might be bothering you too, or given you some things to ponder.

    Praying for a healing for your broken heart! I have seen the miracles that the human body is able to do when healing the physical wounds to the human heart. May God bring quick healing to the human spirit that rules the heart.

    Jackie F
    [This Message was Edited on 03/16/2002]
  6. LynneH

    LynneH New Member

    Rose, anger is a part of the grief process. I've kept you in my prayers, as I know you are going through the hardest time in your life right now. Just keep talking about it.
    Love, Lynne
    PS Thank you for your nice card
  7. Kimerella

    Kimerella Member

    I am so glad if my post helps you to sort out some of your feelings.

    When you feel the weakest is actually when you are strong. This must be so hard for you. You will be in my prayers.


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