Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Sep 16, 2003.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I find of late that am thinking only of me and what is happening in my life and I am just being selfish .I came to this site and you welcomed me with open arms and I feeo that as the stress of my failing marraige , losing my sweet mother-in-law I have only thought of my self and my pain. For this I ask for your forgiveness I am truely so sorry if I have offened anyone by being too personal and giving too many details about the problems that have happened to me.
    Today I went looking for am apartment for the first time in 23 years . It has always been my husband who found p laces to live but as he nolonger wants that job I ahve tomove on and I fcan't stay in this home knowing that he would rather let the bank forclose on this house than pay the morgage for me to live in it. I have to some time grow up and face the reality of life that out in the realworld for me not many people understand about fibro and CMP and other chronic pain disorders And I have to find something else to talk about as no one wants to listen whenthey ask that question HOw are you to day and how are you doing .I don't think that many really care they just ask the question not expecting an answer.So I have to grow up and find a place to work so that I can support me and my girls , pay my medical bills and hopefully be able to fill the perscritopns Rosemarie
  2. peking

    peking New Member

    I really think most of us do the best we can, under the circumstances. And anyone who doesn't have FM could not even begin to understand how we feel. My husband and I close on the purchase of a house today. We've been in an apartment, between houses, for 10 months. There is so much work to be done! But I've just decided I'll do it as I can and I am also going to take care of myself. I am NOT going to stress myself and my family out. All any of us can do is our best and if someone can't understand that, then I don't need them in my life.

  3. Bambi

    Bambi New Member

    I don't know how others feel, but I
    personally think one of the worst things we can do is to bottle up our
    problems, worries, fears, pain etc..
    We all need some place to go where we can feel safe and understood whether we have something happy or difficult
    to share. I would never ever feel bad
    about hearing what is bothering someone or about trying to offer a word of encouragement or try to help.
    It helps us all to realize that we are not as odd or wierd as some of the "normals" out there are constantly telling us we are, and to
    be support for one another. It always
    feels good to know you have tried to
    help someone who is going through the
    same or similar things we all are going through. And it helps the person who needs to vent to have some
    place to do it. So my personal opinion would be that you do as you
    have done, ask for help when you need it, vent when you need to, offer help
    when others need it and leave guilt
    outside the door. You have some very
    disturbing things going on, difficult
    for anyone to handle and more so for
    someone with FM/CFS with our pain and
    other symptoms to deal with at the
    same time. Anyone that doesn't care
    to hear of someone's problems or doesn't want to try to offer a hand
    certainly don't have to read those
    posts. I'm sure it does bother some,
    especially if they are having a real
    hard time themselves and feel they just can't stand to hear of other's
    problems. But I think most of us simply understand and DO want to be
    of whatever support we can be. Take
    care of yourself and worry about the
    things that need the worry--posting
    your feelings and problems here just
    aren't one of the things you need to
    worry about! Hugs! Bambi
  4. Susan07

    Susan07 New Member

    This is a message board for support. We all go through our down times and I'm sure there will be times to come when you will be giving more support than getting. I wish you well and hope you find ways to take care of yourself. Has your husband been like this a long time or is it due to his mothers death? He may be taking this really hard if she was the kind of person even a daughter-in-law can love.

    Prayers for you
  5. mattiedog

    mattiedog New Member

    I'm with Bambi...don't keep those feelings in!! I'm very very new here and it has been a great help already. We all have bad days and I have no doubt that one day I will be on here crying and having bad days as well and you know, I am so glad that you are all here to understand.
    That's what makes this board and these people so very special Rosemarie and it's also what helps us get through the bad times. I have the feeling that all here would agree, please don't ever hold it in, someone will always be here for you and a GREAT BIG HUG to you.

    I understand the train thing as well. I understand from reading the board that noise can be a huge problem. This is something I do not have a problem with except when I have migraines. What I do when there is a noise (actually, I do this every night) is I have a fan running. It is a soothing, steady noise that I find calms me and actually lulls me to sleep plus it blocks out all the other noises.

    Hang in there, keep looking for that new place to live and get that horrible weight off of your shoulders that you call your ex.

  6. clueless

    clueless New Member

    I wish the best for you. Hope you find an apartment,can`t understand your husband leaving you and your girls in such need.Most people don`t understand our pain and discomfort and I know what you mean about how to answer them when they ask how you are or tell you that you are looking good when you are feeling so miserable. It is a no-win situation because as you say most of them don`t really want to know .I hope things work out for you and your girls.I`ll send a prayer up for you and you can always come here I know I have come here when I was so foggy I could`nt think straight but I have gotten help and caring and you will too.I`m ending a hug for you!!! Clueless
  7. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    My husband was really get most of the time but since the death of his mother he is not the same man I married. My dear mother-in-law was the sweetest most kind caring loveing woman I ever knew and I loved her as much as I do my mother. I still tears me apart becasue when he gets angry I get told that "She was MY mother NOT yours" I miss so so much and Iknow that if she were still here things would be different. I do miss her she was so understanding with me , she had lupus so she understood the fibro and the pain that goes with it and she would always tell me that I could always tell her how I felt. I knew that she understood and we bonded years ago when I first was married and the hubby would get drunk I would call her up and she whould tell me that if he was dumb enough to get falling down drunk just leave him where he falls and if you don't want people to see him just throw a blanket over him. She had livedd a hard life with her husbands drinking problems but she stayed with him threw times that were very hard and Tho I never heard her tell him how she felt You could see it in her eyes. I have lost so much in her death . Her , her son and a big peice of me. I am so proud to have had this great woman as my Mother in law.Rosemarie