Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by shari1677, Aug 14, 2009.
How many of you feel "forgotten" by your friends and family - almost as if you dont exist anymore?
I've been very lucky that my closest friends have stayed in touch, and I see family all of the time. I don't see my friends as often as I would like, however, we make it a point to stay connected by phone and the internet when we can't get together face-to-face. Even if I were healthy, my friends all have kids of school age, therefore, I wouldn't see them as often as I would like anyways. You know how busy a person's life is when they have kids
I feel pretty forgotten by many of my friends, not family though. I have a few close friends I still talk to and can count them on one hand but I can't believe all the people who do not call, write, or think to visit. If they were sick and the tables were turned, I would surely be there. I just don't get it. When I went into remission they were all smiles but now that I'm sick again, I'm dust!
looking back at the four years since I retired. I've been to lunch once w/
some former coworkers and went to visit a friend twice.
My social life now is pretty much limited to the Chit chat board. A lot less
sturm und drang than on this board. Good place to talk about the kids,
pets, TV, music, old times, recipes, books, etc.
Everyone is long gone. No one knew how to deal with someone who is chronically ill. They got tired of me not being able to do anything. And there wasn't much to say except how I've been too sick to do anything. It's very hard to keep up friendships and relationships when you just plain aren't well enough to do so.
People only understand what they have experienced. And not too many people have experienced what we are experiencing.
After being totally shattered from the loss of friends, etc., I am finally getting more self-exteme than I have ever had before. I decided that if they don't want to develop compassion and try to understand, it is not my problem. I don't blame myself anymore. And I believe that life is still good and that I will get well.
Don't let the shallowness of others destroy your peace of mind.
but that is pretty much how I want it. I do not have the energy to maintain relationships. I miss having a social life but it is just the way it is. I have a few friends that I stay in contact with but most of it is on the phone or online. And it is not frequent.
I really don't enjoy visitors because I feel compelled to clean--something I do not do as well or as much as I once did. Being hospitable means energy. Once in awhile-a very great while.
I wish things were different.
quanked, I feel the same way. The truth is I don't have the energy to be around people or to entertain. I can't maintain anything, especially not relationships with others. I'm suffering way too much and actually, I value my privacy. If I ever feel better I'll be just as happy to join the world again as the world will probably be with me. Seeing as how people seem to like us once we're improving.
In a lot of ways, I relish my solitude but in other ways this is the hardest thing I've ever gone through, especially the constant physical suffering.
shari1677: I was diagnosed June 4 with Chronic Lyme. For the first few weeks I was amazed at the support and help I was getting from family and friends. 2 months later, someone will call and ask, "Is there anything I can do for you?", and I respond "Yes, I really need someone to come over and help me sweep, vaccuumm and mop the hardwood floors, and there are some other odds and end chores that I could use some help with". 2 weeks later, I just couldn't take it anymore and went into a cleaning frenzy. My husband and I were just discussing how 2 months later everyone is back to their life, while mine is still fighting. It is really hard for me to ask for help from others. It's the whole A Type personality thing. However, I just can't do it all anymore. I haven't even started treatment yet, I hope they come back around, they is suppose to really difficult.
No one understands unless it has touched them on a personal level, and the ones who caught it early and were able to get treatment timely, they don't get it either !!
I was actually looking for a different post and saw your tag line "forgotten" and could not resist.
Let's hope that family and friends realize our loneliness and that this has taught us a lesson to not forget about others who are suffering.
my older sister is there for me, but the bull crap she asked me., mades me hide from her, my younger sister is more positive, so that helps me a lot, on weekends i stay by her house, till she goes to work on monday, then i return home. and so the cicle begins.
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