Friends and family "jealous" over your sick days?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by lvjesus, Sep 11, 2012.

  1. lvjesus

    lvjesus Member

    Home sick today. Hubby said via text message, "sorry you feel that bad. I might stay home tomorrow." Maybe I am reading too much into that but it gets frustrating, you know? Last night I was crashed (and this morning) and I said I did not feel well he says, what's wrong? again, might be reading too much into this, but I feel like yelling, I HAVE FIBRO! THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG! when someone asks me.

    When someone in my family or someone else I know is sick, I give sympathy. Why do I feel guilty taking the day off to rest when most days I push through no matter what?
  2. sunflowergirl

    sunflowergirl Well-Known Member

    DON'T feel guilty. I went thru that too, then I had to take a really good look at my childhood, my parents, how I was raised, their expectations, etc. I push myself very hard even when I don't feel good........that's because I feel if I do then I'll psych myself into feeling good. And I still fight mentally about the things I "should" be doing and can't. It's an ongoing mind battle. Read the book, "Boundaries".
  3. lvjesus

    lvjesus Member

    I do the same things, pushing myself. Today I stayed home from work because once I got up, showered, did my face and was at the point of dressing - crash! Hate that so much. I am feeling better now, so you know what happens then. You start to wonder if you had gone would you have been okay once you got there, blah, blah, blah!

    Fact is by the time I got off yesterday I was crashed. I came home, fixed dinner, made lunches for today, ate and went to bed. Usually that fixes me up but today it didn't work and I know if I cool it today it MIGHT be okay tomorrow.

    I feel bad not being able to do things for the family too. My daughter is off at college now which, even though I miss her, helps with the crash days. The days I was in the bed when she came home and stayed there made me feel bad. I hate coming home from work and going to the bed anyway. The next day I feel like I have lost that time and accomplished nothing, but it does usually allow me to work the next day, which is important too.

    Face it, this stuff just SUCKS!!!
  4. sunflowergirl

    sunflowergirl Well-Known Member

    What an eye opener and I find out I've been an enabler with my prodigal son. She talks about how we keep feeling the need to help one of our children......instead of letting them grow up on their own.

    You wrote:
    I feel bad not being able to do things for the family too. Do you think your family feels bad that they don't DO for you, or that you HAVE to work to make things financially better?

    I went today for the first time to a chinese acupuncturist. I told her about all the injuries, pain, etc. I've had......well over 30 years. She asked WHY I didn't do something right away instead of learning to live with the pain and suffering. I sat there and thought about it.....I guess it was because I ALWAYS put everyone else ahead of a way I was telling MYSELF that I wasn't as important as the rest of my family. And over the years, they learned that lesson quite well. They were more important and I was just the one to make things run.

    Looking back at my 3 children I realize that just by doing for them....making their lunches, getting them up out of bed for school so they wouldn't be late, nagging with their homework, etc. sets the stage for their later years.......and our STRESS. This stress then fuels the constant pain and fatigue AND does anybody really appreciate what we've done?????

    She uses an acronym

    S: Stop enabling, stop blaming yourself, and stop the flow of money
    A: Assemble a support group
    N: Nip excuses in the bud
    I: Implement rules and boundaries
    T: Trust your instincts
    Y: Yield everything to God

    Her website is:

    I wish I had my eyes opened over 30 years ago. I'm sure I would have done things differently and perhaps learned to de stress.
    [This Message was Edited on 09/12/2012]

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