Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by shari1677, Jun 13, 2010.

  1. shari1677

    shari1677 New Member

    As many of you are, I am home 90% of the time...of course in my PJs. I am fortunate to have a full-time job at home.

    I find it EXTREMELY difficult not only to find new friends, but men to date.

    Any suggestions?
  2. kat211

    kat211 New Member

    I have recently learned that it happens when you are not looking for it.

    Prior to my being bedridden for 6 weeks last year I was very busy with school and work commitments. I never got the chance to slow down, even though I was always tired and felt like the walking dead. I had absolutely no interest in social interactions, let alone romantic ones.

    Now, unemployed and home 24/7, I have met some interesting people without even trying. I'm not even looking to make friends as I have some lost time to make up with my son. Anyhow, I made good friends with a gal I bought a patio set from off of CL. I have made friends with my new neighbors w/in the last couple of weeks b/c I have been wearing real clothes and venturing into my front yard for the first time since buying my house a year ago. I have also made friends with my son's friends moms b/c I actually have time to chat when I pick or drop him off and I can host play dates.

    As far as romantic friends, when it rains it pours. I have, ok had, absolutely no interest in dating or having any type of romantic relationships what so ever. Then, on a Friday a few weeks ago, the fellow that takes mows my lawn asked me out. I turned him down telling him that I am off of the market for an indetermenant amount of time. The next day an old friend called and asked me out for drinks. We went out and he expressed his feelings for me and told me that he had always had them. I told him I would think about it. I agreed to give it a shot b/c we have a great relationship and blah blah blah.

    Anyhow, I think getting out of the house is key. Also, wearing real clothes, not sweat pants and pjs, when you go out is helpful, not only in others' perceptions of you but helps boost your self-esteem. I have to force myself to put on real clothes and makeup (I still wear a hat all the time) sometimes, but I find it worth it in the long run.

  3. karynwolfe

    karynwolfe New Member

    No advice on your actual question/topic but what is your job if you wouldn't mind sharing?
  4. Misfit101

    Misfit101 New Member

    I cant help you as to where to meet men. Most wouldnt want to meet a man where i a bar. I wasnt looking for love...i just loved to dance. Thats it. Dancing. When i still could that is. My now dh was the same...he loved to dance. I actually met a few REALLY nice men and of course the usual not so nice ones. But after a 20 yr rocky road of a marriage i did NOT want another. I just wanted to dance. I met an unbelievable man thats so nice i probably wouldnt have given him the time of day in the past. Figured he wasnt my type and was 10 yrs younger. A no no for me. I was strongly encouraged by a friend to at least go out with him. Its quite the story actually. Id just say to not compromise whats important but step out of the box a little. I didnt want it but im glad i did. Mine and my kids lives are better for him being in them.
  5. shari1677

    shari1677 New Member

    I type medical reports (medical transcriptionist) third shift. I have done this type of work for 22 years.
  6. AuntTammie

    AuntTammie New Member

  7. butterflydream

    butterflydream New Member

    This is wonderful you've kept the same position for 22 years!!
    You have talent being a medical transcriptionists.
    Alot of docs depend on you, good for you Shari
    It's not easy finding a stay at home job position, so you have definately proved good work for 22 years.

  8. Chelz

    Chelz New Member

    I have heard over and over again, "you will meet someone when you are not looking". I have no idea whoever came up with that one. I am 45, and never really actively looked for anyone, and guess one has come around either.

    I work in a hospital with over 1,000. people. As hard as it is, I dress up everyday, the whole nine yards, make-up, decent, but not great clothing, jewelry and people I work with compliment my hair, jewelry, so forth, which is so nice of them, but no dates.

    It amazes me that most people find dates, don't have a clue how they do that. It would be nice to be noticed by the opposite sex every once in a while, but it doesn't happen in spite of people telling me that I have a great personality and look nice, but they are only friends and acquaintenances (not sure I spelled that right) who do that.

    My confidence is dwindling every year I get older. BUT, on the other hand, I have so many chronic health issues, and will be approaching perimenopause soon, I'm not sure that I would even have the strength for a relationship. Relationships take so much work and I am too exhausted after working at the hospital all week, then having to take care of myself, that I just don't think I could go past a few dates anyway, LOL. Hugs, Chelz.
  9. gapsych

    gapsych New Member