Friends, what are those?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by 00a7370, Mar 25, 2007.

  1. 00a7370

    00a7370 New Member

    My husband and my mother are the only two people I can complain to. This woman at work told me that I need to read that new book Secrets. She said that if I just said I was fine, I would be fine. Not only did that negate how I was feeling but put the onus on me. Now I need to feel guilty, because it's my fault because I don't feel positive enough!! The same women told me that I just need to have colonics done, because it is all those years of backed up junk in my system that has made me get fibromyalgia.
  2. AllWXRider

    AllWXRider New Member

    A colonic did make me feel better, but I'm not cured...but now I know my problem: I just needed to think positive!!!
    Just kidding...Positive thinking always helps...but never cures.
    Each of us has to find their "Root Cause" and then once we attack or fix the root cause, we can find recovery.

    In my case, I have high levels of Lead, Cadmium, Antimony and Aresenic. Positive thinking won't cause my body to magically dump these metals, but I need to research chelation and note my recovery...and morally tell others, just in case it helps them too.

    I would get a hair analysis to rule out the toxic metal theory.

    Also, research Systemic Enzymes: Dr. William Wong N.D. has done some pioneering work with FM with this. "Forbearance" on the forum has had success with Virastop. Dr. Wong likes Vitalzym. My mom [71] has helped her FM by using Walmart "Rexall" Enzymes. At 6/day she felt the effects immediately. Rexall Enzymes are digestive and not designed to be systemic but they did work.
  3. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    Many people, even if they are your friends or family simply cannot deal with others problems or illnesses, and they don't want to hear about it. My brother and I are very close and we both vent easily and give advice and support. Other than him, I don't even try to explain my problems to anyone.

    My mother had fibromyalgia as I grew up. She was entirely focused on her illness and it seemed to exclude everything else in her life.

    When I discovered I had fibro in my early 20's I knew I would never discuss my aches and pains to others. For years, even my husband did not know how much I suffered.

    (Thanks goodness, today I am much better than 10 year ago).

    I think once you tell someone your medical problem, they instinctively want to tell you what to do to solve the problem, or get better. They mean well, but usually there is no easy answer.

    As respects to colonics, maybe they work for some people. If you just eat a healthy diet and stay regular, that is the best. I don't believe people have "junk" backed up in their bodies - how about when people have colonoscopies? The doctor would tell you if that was true.

    Certainly being constipated can make you feel terrible.

  4. 00a7370

    00a7370 New Member

    I decided early on, that I would not tell anyone at work how I felt. I just smiled and said I was fine. The more I did that the worse I felt. So when I decided to tell a select few, and was told that it was my attitude, I felt it was like telling someone that, God forbid, had some type of terminal illness that they just weren't thinking positively enough!

    I told my adult children that I was only going to tell them one time what was wrong with me. If I couldn't do something because I wasn't feeling well, I would just tell them that I was having a bad day. That way, I wouldn't be a constantly complaining mother.

    I will stick to complaining only to people who can relate and perhaps a psychologist.
  5. pianomoe

    pianomoe New Member

    Most of the time I really don't want to have any contact with anyone buy my husband.
    He is my "rock."
    I have started telling my own daughters that I'm just having a bad day when they call. For the longest time, they thought I was mad at them because I was in a foul mood.
    It really is awful to feel like this/I don't want to talk to anyone on the phone and I HATE trying to be social when I feel like @@@@.
    The only people who really understand Fibro are those who have it themselves!!
    Thanks for all of you here!
    Pianomoe
  6. DeborahLynn

    DeborahLynn Member

    I keep trying to explain what is going on with me; how life is with FM/CFS. I never before had to see it from this perspective, but now that I am on the other side of the question,I can see why just saying "I'm fine" would be easier and a lot less trouble.

    What do you tell people when they ask, "How are you?", and yet not be telling a lie? I used to say, "Hanging in there," but people will say, "Good for you," and they won't have a clue what I'm going through. I have started asking a few people when they ask me that - "Are you sure you want to really know?"

    I guess the best thing to say would be "I'm fine," because it is the least self-centered thing I could say (it wouldn't be asking them to listen to my problems), and yet the most self-centered thing to say (it would keep me from having to go through what you, OOa7370, and others with FM/CFS have had to go through when trying to help others understand this disease).

    I am forever trying to get people to understand what it's like with FM/CFS. Maybe it is an impossible task. It's something I am going to pray about... And I pray for all on these message boards, too! God keeps me going; He lifts me up from my pit of troubles and makes me glad. He wants to do that for you, too!

    God bless,

    Debbie
  7. JulieL

    JulieL New Member

    bump
    00a7370,

    I can really relate to you. The only ones I really confide in our my mom and husband too. To tell you the truth I hate talking or discussing my health issues with anyone because most of the time they don't even know what it is or worse they think it is stress related.

    I do have one friend that I talk to on the phone to every now and then.. she's an (ex co-worker) but I try not to talk about sickness with her either....if I do she always says "smile..be happy". I know she means well but a lot of good that does me when I am feeling extremely tired and in pain.

    My kids, especially my boys don't seem to understand so I try not to talk about it much. They all live in different states except my oldest daughter...she is about the only one I can talk to and she does understand. She is a nurse and had a friend who also had the syndrome.

    I started seeing a counselor (the doctor where I work suggested this) last Friday. It went okay but I started crying because I feel so frustrated at not being able to do things I use to do. I also went to aqua therapy. It's very hard to go to these classes but I find that the whirlpool really helps afterwards. The only problem I have is my neck and shoulders kill me for about 3 days.

    I want to be a productive person and to make things happen not just sit around in pain. Why don't people understand that. I would love to be able to just travel, garden, paint, knit and shop whenever I want but I have to pace myself.

    I have tried to be as positive as possible, I even bought tapes from a company called Holysync which is supposed to take you to alpha, beta, delta and some other kind of other waves. It's suppose to help get rid of all negative thoughts and addictions, be more assertive, etc. I have to listen every night for an hour and I did this for about 5 months and it helped a little but not as much as I would want it too...and I didn't get rid of the pain or fatigue.

    Good luck on your journey with dealing with these jerks that don't understand and sorry I rambled on and on.

    juliel