Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a pledge that actually speak of true friendship. 1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry who made you that way. 2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you. 3. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get. 4. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining. 5. When you are confused -- I will use little words and speak slowly. 6. When you are sick -- Stay the heck away from me until you are well again. I don't want to catch whatever you have. 7. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt. 8. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask?, Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth. And remember....when life hands you Lemons, get some tequila and salt and call me ASAP!