For those who have had this disease for many years, do you ever feel a part of you is stuck in that year you got sick, since that's when your life stopped? I have so many things I should throw out because they are literally from the year I got sick and I certainly don't need them or use them, but I'm having a hard time parting with them. I even have a book with that year in the title. I have clothes from that year that certainly no longer fit, too. Just so many things from when my life literally stopped. I think I'm afraid to throw them out because part of it is fully admitting that my old life is dead and will never return. And all these years have passed and I'm still sick and disabled. And then there's that sentimentality. Remembering when I wore something when I was healthy. The places I used to go and the things I used to do that I can no longer do. Maybe I should have titled this post Dead Dreams. I have old college papers I should also throw out. It's painful for me to even see them. I'm no longer well enough to ever attend another school. And I never got to have my career because of this disease. That's all over and long dead. Throwing it all out for me is admitting it's over. My old life will never return to me. And that's incredibly sad.