I just don't know what to do anymore. I hurt all the time, tired all the time, my brain doesn't function properly. I'm weaning off the pain med to see if that is messing up my stomach, but it never worked to begin with. I haven't been able to really stay in a full time job since 2005. I've been trying to go to school online off and on during this time (started in 2004), but keep having to pull out because my brain doesn't function and I can't think to write my papers. Now my school loans are coming due, with the first payments due in December. Our car insurance payments also restart in December. My husband is the only one working. I get state disability, but it is a very little amount and it will be done in November. I'm applying for SSDI, but that's not money I can count on, as I fully expect to be denied at least once or twice. I just don't know what to do. My husband's stress level is already high and I don't want to add anymore to that. I really really really just want to give up our apartment here and move back to Texas, where we can live at my parents' house for free, at least temporarily. I don't want to be in a position where we end up filing for bankruptcy or screwing up our credit. I'm 29 years old. My life was not supposed to be like this. I was supposed to have been finishing my degree this year, graduating, and then finding a better, higher-paying job. I'm supposed to be working and enjoying my life, not struggling to take care of myself and keep my husband's stress level from going over the top. I just want to crawl in a hole and sleep forever. Or just let someone else take care of everything. I don't know.