fun poll - have you ever considered LOOKING sick?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Shannonsparkles, Mar 13, 2006.

  1. Shannonsparkles

    Shannonsparkles New Member

    Just a wild little thought that comes to me from time to time...

    Have you ever wondered what would happen if you showed up at work or to the doctor's office LOOKING sick? I mean, on purpose?

    Like, a little eyeliner artfully applied to give the illusion of rich, deep circles under your eyes?

    Sweater unwashed and covered in lint?

    A little oil dabbed on the pores, a yellow-tone foundation makeup, cotton balls stuffed in the cheeks to make you look like you're about to hurl?

    Hollow cough and slouching posture?

    A groggy "Wha-aaatt?" in answer to every question?

    I know we are all proud, beautiful people here but have you ever wondered what it would be like if you LOOKED sick?

    So come clean, fellow fibromites and cfs-ers! How many of you have contemplated 'dressing down' into the depths of visible disease at some point or other? Considered making your 'invisible illness' a paid public advertisement for awareness or personal amusement? And... do you think we would really get treated differently?

    Finally, would you do it on a dare? ;)
    (((wink))) Shannon
    [This Message was Edited on 03/14/2006]
  2. lease79

    lease79 New Member

    I've never actually done it, though I have wished that I would actually look as bad as I feel on days that I can barely move & people say to me 'You're looking great!'

    I find that when I 'look' sick I generally throw everyone into a panic because it means that I am 'REALLY' ill :(

    Last time I ended up in hospital I kept asking hubby if I looked as bad as I felt & he kept saying 'No' (to make me feel better I suppose.)
    Got to the hospital barely able to stand, walked in & the nurse that booked me in (I know her,) took one look at me & said 'Whoa Lisa, you ARE pale'.
    I actually appreciated the fact that she realised that I was feeling like death warmed up!

  3. jbennett2

    jbennett2 New Member

    A month or so ago I had to have my dh drive me to the docs because I was feeling so bad. Apparently, that time I did actually look bad because he switched my meds on me because he didn't like the way I looked.

    Maybe the 2 weeks averaging 2 hrs. sleep a night had something to do with it! I was a basket case. Still am, sort of.
  4. Chermione

    Chermione New Member

    I have had the thought that instead of spending what little energy I have on getting ready, that I would go to the dr. as I normally look on a daily basis, which isn't pretty. Taking a shower and getting ready can use up ALL my energy on most days. But alas, I cannot go out in public without looking decent.
  5. elsa

    elsa New Member

    No way man !!!! TOO TOO vain for that!! Ha! I don't think so ... well, unless I was trying to make an impression on my poor Mother, who, from time to time, can't quite believe fibro can take THAT much time away from HER!

    Poor Mom, .... I shouldn't have said that ... 8 times out of 10 she is all world .... helping with research and support. Just every now and again ... can get that Mom-guilt going! ....

    Thanks for the chuckle .... The lint on the sweater was great!

    Hope you are doing well ............


    Gigi .... "Smartly demonstrated by Liz Hurley" ... HA HA !!! Dang, I wish I was in person with all of ya'll this morning. I think I'd be laughing 'til I cried over the incredible humor each of you are displaying.

    Gosh almighty .... we really can pull it togther, keep our minds together while living with this monster! "Normals" should take notes ... The next time life gets alittle tough I think the could learn tons from us.

    E.[This Message was Edited on 03/14/2006]
  6. mahx

    mahx New Member

    is easy most days. If able i do try and do hair and makeup,wtc before going out. Just a pride and vanity thing really, But, of course there are days i HAVE to go out, and can't even manage a shower... My doc knows me well enough ( as do those i am closest to) to know if i am feeling well for real, or trying to act like i am feeling well....then there are the days when no amount of acting can mask my pain or fatigue...
    As far as being treated diff..i do believe when pple see visible signs of an illness, it is easier for them to accept it.. that really is too bad to. I have learned to not be concerned with what others really think. If i am feeling lousy..but manage a shower,hair go get a loaf of bread...then i did it for me...and my self preservation

  7. Shannonsparkles

    Shannonsparkles New Member

    Too funny!!!!!! I bet people would buy it too! Just don't tell them that "Fogged" smells like B.O. and week-old food crumbs caught in your clothes. ;)
  8. Shannonsparkles

    Shannonsparkles New Member

    Oh yeah, the wild side of me wants to try it. I know it would be a little dishonest to use makeup to look worse than I am. But then, covering up those undereye circles with makeup and putting on blush powder doesn't feel right to me these days either.

    So I just don't use any makeup at all. If I can shower before I doctor appointment, I'm lucky. And I do only have one sweater, so tidy or not, that's the one I wear. The way I figure, I am too old and too crummy-feeling to put up a front! I just try to be fairly clean and have my hair brushed. And smile with all the teeth god gave me.

    Maybe someday, though, I'll break out the makeup kit for the forces of evil. >;-) Go undercover and break through the barrier into visible illness.
  9. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    Gee you just described the way I normally look(LOL)

    I actually think that when I do drag to docs looking like hell, they take less notice. Actualy when I doll up they seem nicer, treat me better.

    Is this not odd?
  10. angeljoe

    angeljoe New Member

    I couldn't look any sicker in the mornings. My neighbor is up and ready by 7am and she normally catches me looking VERY sick. I have went to the doctor with my hair pulled back wearing a hat. Only thing is I feel that I get treated better if I dress WAY up. Its kind of like if your rich you get treated with respect and empathy.

    Every single DR I've seen in blue jeans & sweatshirt have treated me like I'm a drug addicted, lazy idiot. Really I've tested this theory out. Those same DR's treat me competely different if I wear slacks, silk shirt & a blazer.
    Don't have many selections in that area of my wardrobe.

    I would consider looking sick if it would make any difference at all. You guys had me rolling in laughter on this one.
  11. Juloo

    Juloo Member

    I don't know. This isn't a direct answer, just some observations.

    To the docs who know what they're doing, they have enough presence of mind to evaluate the patient, not (merely) the appearance.

    To the how-many-can-we-see-in-an-hour physician, there is probably a LOT of pre-judgement. I don't know if much of it works in my favor, though (as a woman). If I dress up (as if I took time off my busy schedule to come from work -- which I do), they think I can't possibly be *that* sick.

    When I come in with my son who sometimes is off of school when I go in, I'm dressed like I've been doing housework -- because I have been. I get talked to as if I'm some mom who can barely be bothered to roll out of bed in the morning...talked down to, you know?

    One day when one of the snotty PAs at the GP's office bothered to ask if I had a job outside the home, and I actually TOLD him (I'm a licensed professional in a male-dominated field), he had a serious reversal of demeanor. When he asked me about the education and training in my field, I (pleasantly!) filled him in. Surprise, surprise! My degree(s) requirements, internship requirements, licensing exam requirements AND continuing ed requirements were equal to or more strenous than his were. Took some starch out of his violet button-down, I'll tell you that.

    If I had to fall on one side or the other, I'd say dress for your regular day.

    My husband, on the other hand, honestly TRIES to get as awful-looking as possible before he goes in to the doctor. Since he's a man, and he waits a loooooong time before he admits he needs help, he manages to look pretty bad. I keep telling him it's overkill -- he never listens.

    But OH HONEY, do those nurses ever feel soooooooo sorry for him!
  12. mme_curie68

    mme_curie68 New Member

    Last Sunday I finally had enough energy to go to my 12-step recovery meeting for the first time in over a year.

    My "wakey - wakey" meds. kicked out mid-way thru the 1 hour gathering.

    I wasn't wearing ANY makeup had undereye circles at least 5 shades darker than the rest of the skin on my face.

    At least 10 people told me how wonderful I looked.

    I didn't think I had done a bad job on the previous occaisions I wore makeup...
  13. lease79

    lease79 New Member

    but if you live with this stuff long enough, you won't have the problem of people saying, "but you look so good". Those days ended for me a couple of years ago. The past few years were so stressful that the pain now really shows on my face.

    I've actually been sick with this since I was 11, really bad since I was 16, so 10 years since it got bad.
    I honestly think that I look awful, I'm puffy, have bags under my eyes, my skin is all un-even coloured, but still I get comments.
    Maybe it's just because people know that I am not well & are trying to make me feel better, I don't know??
    One thing that I do do out in public is put on a smile. I can have my pain face on at home. But on the rare occasion that I feel well enough to actually go out, the 'I'm ok' face goes on ;)

  14. mrstyedawg

    mrstyedawg Member

    A couple of years back, I went to a big university. I went in without any makeup on. I didn't have to put anything under my eyes for the black circles and pasty skin. First the first time I didn't try to cover my illness.
  15. ma2alex

    ma2alex New Member

    Oh, yes, I have contemplated it. I am one of those people who NEVER looks sick, no matter how bad things are. After my son was born (28hrs of labor, then an emergency c-section), he wanted to nursed every 45 minutes for those first few weeks. So, I am getting only 20 minute cat naps, no real sleep, trying to recover from major surgery and child birth, not to mention severe PPD and of fibro. I take my son to his first doctors apt and the nurse says, "You look great, I sure can't tell by looking at you that you aren't sleeping."
    And of course, if I ever ask my DH if I look pale or sick, his answer is "no, you don't look an different."
    So, yes, once in a while, it would be nice to actually look sick, maybe get a little more sympathy.
    I think you are really onto something here, I'd buy the make-up kit!
  16. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    to look sick, but my natural beauty just shines through.

    Samantha mentioned bridesmaid dresses. The Goodwill in Glendale had a sale of them. Two racks in the parking lot.

    39 cents apiece. That's right. You could have gotten 20 for only 8 bucks. Can't do that at the mall.
    [This Message was Edited on 03/16/2006]
  17. halo52208

    halo52208 New Member

    I've also thought about what do you say when people ask "How are you today". Do you say:

    Gee, I feel like I got ran over by a truck and got pecked by the crows till there was nothing left.


    I feel fine when you really don't, but don't want to go into a long speach.

    Just a thought.
  18. Shannonsparkles

    Shannonsparkles New Member

    Angeljoe, cromwell, samantha55, I also had the idea that I would get more respect from docs if I went in looking polished and using long words. So, I'd do it when seeing a doc for the first time, just to establish that "I'm as good as you are, buddy!" and make him squirm a bit. Then, after he know's I'm a smart person, drop the makeup and show that I'm in a total physical breakdown.

    Mrstyedawg, good for you. I liked it when you wrote, "for the first time I didn't try to cover my illness." That's where I'm at now with this thing. I love to go out looking pretty... but I feel more genuine without makeup. I feel like it's an awareness thing. I don't want anyone to tell me I look good if I don't feel good. And as I read what you wrote, it got me thinking about cancer patients, about how they can choose whether to wear a wig...

    And that got me to your post, VenomousX. That's some gutsy friend you've got! I don't think I would go that for, shaving my head (I need the hair to keep warm, and I don't have the energy to WASH my head, let alone shave it!), but I could see how a person could do it. Did she get treated differently?

    Halo52208, what do you say when asked the customary, "How are you?" Another pointed question. For me, I'm housebound, and I get it over the phone every time I pick up. And I just say, 'not very well,' or 'terrible,' or if I'm feeling so bad that I don't even want to think about it, I turn it on them and say, "Well, you're sounding good today!" instead of saying how I am. I don't ever say "okay" anymore unless I am.

    But everybody's different, every situation, doctor, friend, workplace and social gathering needs it's own tactics. It really is helpfull to read about how all of us are dealing with the social aspect that our appearance brings.
  19. caperkat

    caperkat New Member

    These responses are so funny, and many are sad. When I'm having a rough day, if I do go to work, I just skip the makeup, don't do anything with my hair but brush it, and dress very comfortably. Thankfully we can wear jeans, t-shirt sandals or sneakers... I do like the idea of the make-up kit, tho. hmmmm....
  20. Cindi

    Cindi New Member

    I look really bad at home. I don't do anything to my hair, don't put on makeup or care about what I wear.
    When I do go out, it has to be on a "good" day so i can put on makeup and fix myself up. I've even recheduled doctor's appointments on a "bad" day. I guess vanity gets in the way...I really do like to see myself look nice when I go out, since I don't get out that often.

    My family physician has seen me at my worst when I was SO sick that I didn't care...I just wanted him to help me!!


    PS - Rockgor, I LOVE Glendale!!! I would like to move there. I'm on the east Coast, but have stayed in Glendale and found it to be a nice, friendly place :) Not to mention how close it is to LA, Pasadena, and a nice drive to Malibu! Lucky you for living in this area!

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