Today was the funeral for a friend of mine that was murdered on June 1. She (22 yrs old) went fishing at a conservation and was murdered by being beaten beyond recognition and DNA was used to confirm it was her. She was a co-worker when I worked at a convenient store in a fairly small city and we became friends. She was a very sweet girl. My neighbor is the assistant manager there and while speaking to her yesterday about the funeral, she said she was certain it was going to be packed, because there was so many people that knew her and the family. I wanted to go so badly, but knowing how I am and how I can get in a crowd, I didn't go. I felt bad, but I am sure I wasnt missed. She knows I wanted to be there and I think about her so very often. How do you get around things like this? I cant keep avoiding things, just because I cant deal with them, can I?