FYI VERY IMPORTANT YOU get to laugh, that is...

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by victoria, Mar 19, 2007.

  1. victoria

    victoria New Member

    If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days
    you would have produced enough sound energy
    to heat one cup of coffee.
    (Hardly seems worth it.)

    If you farted consistently for 6 yrs and 9 months,
    enough gas is produced to create the energy of
    an atomic bomb.
    (Now that's more like it!)

    The human heart creates enough pressure when
    it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
    (Oh my. . .!)

    A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
    (no comment)

    A cockroach will live 9 days without its head
    before it starves to death.
    (Creepy. . . I'm still not over the pig.)

    Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories/hour
    (Don't try this at home, maybe at the doctor's office tho)

    The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its
    head is attached to its body. The female initiates
    sex by ripping the male's head off.
    (Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)

    The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like
    a human jumping the length of a football field.
    (hmmm, what about that pig tho! Can you imagine?)

    The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
    (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

    Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
    (no comment, except,
    sometimes, quality over quantity's better. . . ?)

    Butterflies taste with their feet.
    (Something I always wanted to know.)

    The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
    ( . . . I'm speechless!)

    Right-handed people live, on average, 9 yrs longer
    than left-handed people.
    (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

    Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
    (Okay -- so that would be a good thing!?!)

    A cat's urine glows under a black light.
    (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

    Polar bears are left-handed.
    (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

    Humans and dolphins are the only species that
    have sex for pleasure.
    (What about that pig??)

    An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
    (I know some doctors like that. . . )

    Starfish have no brains
    (I know some doctors like that, too. . . ;)

    LOL, hope you got some laughs...


    [This Message was Edited on 03/19/2007]
  2. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    Quite a few smiles fromt that post. Thanks for taking the time to put it on the board.

    Have a great day!
  3. victoria

    victoria New Member

    someone just sent me this joke, thought it was cute, so I'm gonna add it on here:

    A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas.
    Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window.

    The bee said, "What seems to be the problem"?

    The man was taken aback that a bee could speak,
    but replied, "I'm out of gas."

    The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away.
    Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of
    bees flew to his car and into his gas tank. After a few
    minutes, the bees flew out.

    "Try it now," said one bee.

    The man turned the ignition key and the car started
    right up.

    Astonished, the man exclaimed,
    "Wow! WHAT did you all put in my gas tank?"


    The bee answered,


    [This Message was Edited on 03/19/2007]
  4. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    Oh, that's such a groaner...I loved it!

    I am going to have to send it to my cousin...he's one who appreciates "fine" humor as much as you and I seem to...

    Tee Hee!

  5. sleepytoes

    sleepytoes New Member

    LOVED YOUR POST!! Here's a couple more tidbits:

    1. Because of the way elephant are built they cannot
    cross/walk across a ditch.

    2. In the event of a nuclear war the only insect that would positively survive is the cockroach.
    [This Message was Edited on 03/19/2007]
  6. pat460

    pat460 New Member

    You have helped me make an important decision!

    When I come back in my next life, I want to be a pig crossed with a dolphin who marries a lion!!! LOL!!!

    Hey wait, animals don't get FM do they? If they do, then my husband probably won't want to come back as the lion!!!! LOL!!
    [This Message was Edited on 05/05/2007]
  7. Shalala

    Shalala New Member

    I needed that ... thanks
  8. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    Thanks for the laughs....

    Pat, you sound like my kind of person!!!


    Nancy B