Getting old - has its perks... then again -

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by victoria, Mar 2, 2010.

  1. victoria

    victoria New Member

    "Perks" later, first some witticisms:)

    I'm retired...
    I was tired yesterday, and I'm tired again today.
    (This could be our bumpersticker?)

    We got married for better or worse.
    My spouse couldn't do better, I couldn't do any worse.

    I was always taught to respect my elders.
    NOW I don't have anyone to respect!

    I asked what kind of underwear I should use.
    My doctor said, "Depends..."

    That "Snap, Crackle, Pop" in the morning
    ain't my freakin' Rice Krispies!

    'Senior' Campbell's Alphabet Soup

    FLORIDA: God's Waiting Room

    of my golden years:
    SS, CD's, IRA's, AARP...

    Cremation? Think outside the box

    PERKS (?)

    1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

    2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

    3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

    4. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?

    5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

    6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

    7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

    8. You can eat supper at 4 pm.

    9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

    10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

    11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

    12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

    13. You sing along with elevator music.

    14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

    15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

    16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

    17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

    18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

    19.You can't remember who sent you this list.

  2. FibroFay

    FibroFay New Member

    Thank you for a good laugh today!!

    Fay :)
  3. spacee

    spacee Member


    BILLCAMO New Member

    For the laughs I needed some ! :>)

    I came here for some other reasons & can't remember why......:>(

    And just when did I change from a member to a customer on this forum ? lol

    Blessings ,