Giving a response to a future invitation?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by ILoveGreen, Mar 22, 2011.

  1. ILoveGreen

    ILoveGreen New Member

    I am wondering how others deal with RSVPs for future invitations from family in particular. I was Dx'd over ten years ago with CFS/FM. My family still doubts or doesn't understand what I deal with every day. The invitation in question is Easter @ my sister's home which is about a 2 1/2 hour drive. When she left the invitation on my voice mail, she also said that I could ride with my brother and his wife (which would shorten my drive by an hour). I am assuming she meant well.

    Right now I am still in a flare from a virus I had earlier this month: I only have a few good hours/day, and feel like I'm slowly getting my energy back. How do I politely tell her that I have no idea if I'll be up for the long day (8 hrs w/o a chance to rest) let alone be comfortable enough to enjoy myself and be good company? I have to travel 3 hours each way on the Wed. prior for a medical appt. and have a busy week following Easter.

    What to do?!?

    [This Message was Edited on 03/22/2011]
  2. 3gs

    3gs New Member

    tell her just what you said here. I no longer can accept invites. My response is Thank you for inviting me I will be there if I can.

    I f its something that will cost money or tickets I say no. Pushing and crashing got me into a big mess health wise. also I wasnt very good company so started to lean to say no.

    Dont feel guilty-its hard when family doesnt understand.
  3. kbak

    kbak Member

    I agree that you just say Thank-you for the invite, I'll be there if I can. My MIL always does this to me, and no matter how many times I patiently explain to her that I don't know how I'm going to feel on any certain day, she never gets it and feels that I'm being difficult. So there are people no matter how hard you try, just don't want to hear. It is a personal challenge to me to be patient in these things!

  4. ILoveGreen

    ILoveGreen New Member

    I appreciate your input. I'm sorry to hear about your MIL's lack of understanding. I'm single, so at least I don't have to deal with that kind of pressure!

    Regarding my Easter invitation, I said I'd come if I could, and asked that if I am able to come, is there a place where I could discreetly lie down if I need to. (I hate it when everyone asks me questions about why I'm lying down, esp when I NEED to!)

    I realize that while I am oh so good at seeing through other people's relationship and family issues, I am oftentimes at a loss when it comes to dealing with my own, especially as far as the CFS/FM. This is something I need to work on if I am going to have any kind of relationships with my siblings now that both of my parents are gone. Since my Dx over ten years ago, I have not felt heard after numerous attempts to explain my health concerns/limitations. I have retreated & turned down plenty of invitations. Right now, since there is no longer a place to call "home" (we sold our parents' home) I see this as a critical turning point with my familly relationships. Thanks again for the input!