Giving Up

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by kelly2009, Aug 9, 2009.

  1. kelly2009

    kelly2009 New Member

    I have been suffering with pain for 17 years. It only took 9 years to be diagnosed with FM. I have tried everything and nothing helps the pain. I work 40+ at work each week but I am so tired when I come home I cant play with my kids or even have a conversation with my hubby. As usual I dont sleep well so if I happen to fall asleep on the couch by 7 pm my hubby thinks I am taking drugs. The only meds I use are Advil and thermocare heat wraps. I dont know what to do anymore except maybe put a bullet in my brain. If it was not for my kids I would have already done it. Does anyone have ANY ideas for controling some of the pain? i just need some relief!!

  2. outdoorsy girl

    outdoorsy girl New Member

    1st ...please call 911 or a suicide hotline or go to the emergency room if this feeling isn't gone.

    your children need you!! they need their mommy. reach out to someone. a therapist, those that truly care work on a sliding scale if you don't have insurance. so tell them if you do or don't.

    i am so very sorry for your physical & mental pain, i've been there as well.
    you don't have to suffer.
    is there a pain clinic near you?
    a doctor that proactively treats fibro?

    depression & pain medications & cortisone injections are available. i've had great fm doctors in the past....and they make a world of difference...they can help you.

    also, check out other depression & fm boards.

    terri, my thoughts & prayers are with you.
  3. skeptik2

    skeptik2 Member

    Look, I've had FM for 21 years; and I too have felt like you.

    I do strongly suggest you call your United Way hotline; they will refer you to people who can help.

    Please, also consider going on disability. Has your dr. documented your pain problems and the horrendous fatigue you certainly must be having with a job and family to take care of? If not, start telling him immediately...get it well documented, then call Soc. Security (1-800-772-1213). Tell them your doctor(s) names and addresses and your diagnosis of FM...they will contact them to get the records.

    I took 6 acupuncture treatments from a highly trained acpuncturist, and my FM was reduced by 90% for about 5, I've 'overdone' it and much of the pain is back, but I have learned to pace have no way to do that with a 40 hr week job and family, so disability is a real option.

    All the suggestions here are stay with us and let us support you...and put the gun if any in a locked time you think of that, call 911 or a hotline, ok?

    Let us know soon how you are doing, will you?

    Many softies (((((((((HUGS))))))))

  4. faithinlove

    faithinlove New Member

    I too know how you feel about the pain of this. My doctor has put me on Cymbalta which is an anti-depressant for FM. She said that it has been known to help the pain of those who suffer with fm and cfs.
    I have some depression because of all the darn pain but I do think this medicine has helped me some.
    I also take a very small amount of Darvocet when I just cannot take it anymore. I take that as a last resort.
    I just want you to know I feel for you and I so understand what you are going through.
    Take care and God bless
    Let us know how you are doing..:)
  5. jasminetee

    jasminetee Member

    Hi Terri,

    That seems awfully cruel of your husband. It's sad that he isn't being supportive of you.

    I've found Pain Sprays to be helpful. I spray my whole body sometimes except for my head, stomach, arms and hands. I use Stop Pain or Cryogenic sprays. You can get them online. Other times I use Biofreeze. The roll-on Biofreeze is easy to apply to my upper back, shoulders and back of my neck.

    I also use Lidocaine Patches for persistent pain. I use medical tape to tape them on when needed. It works best if you tape all the way across the bandage and onto your skin in a criss-cross fashion instead of taping around the edges. I usually need about 3 or 4 strips.

    I understand how you feel but please don't give up. Keep trying to educate your hubby and keep searching for things that can relieve your pain.

  6. msbsgblue

    msbsgblue Member

    Ask him to put you on some kind of pain meds. You need something if you are this bad.
  7. butterflydream

    butterflydream New Member

    to our everday functioning.

    Since you don't sleep well, your doctor may prescribe you medication for this.

    Hope you see your doctor soon.

  8. LindaJones

    LindaJones New Member

    working 40 hours a week could be making you feel worse
    this is definitely not good for someone with fibromyalgia
    maybe you can apply for disability
    do you have a doctor who is knowledgeable about fm
    a support group can be very helpful

    it is very important to pace yourself
    some of the people in this support group work from home
    they are not able to work full-time

    also try to find a therapist who helps people with chronic illness
  9. SnooZQ

    SnooZQ New Member

    Hello Kelly & welcome to the forum!

    You are a new poster, so I'm not sure how much of the forum you have been reading. If you've read many threads, you will see that, while living with these diseases (FM/CFS) is a struggle, many people have made progress in dealing with their pain.

    There have been many very useful comments already made on this thread, to help you started on your journey towards improvement.

    The fact that you only use Advil & heat wraps at present suggests to me that likely there are many more things that could be tried to help your pain & fatigue.

    Unfortunately, there is some degree of trial & error in finding "what works" for FM. Don't we all wish that there was JUST ONE pill that would cure us ... and that it cost less than a buck!

    In addition to the excellent suggestions already posted, I recommend you learn all you can about fibro. There are excellent books & DVDs out there -- some available through the ProHealth store. If money is a concern (as it is for our family), many resources can be obtained through your local public library. If your library doesn't have the following books, it's quite likely they can obtain them for you through Inter-Library Loan. Check at the information desk.

    The two books I strongly recommend:

    1) Pain Free 1 - 2 - 3 by Jacob Teitelbaum, M.D. This author, himself a fellow sufferer & researcher in the field -- a frequent guest on TV talk shows -- offers thoughtful advice on a wide variety of medical, alternative, and self-care strategies for dealing with chronic pain. I found this book very practical & hope-inspiring as well.

    2) From Fatigued to Fantastic by Jacob Teitelbaum, M.D. More focused on the low-energy/brain fog aspects. But also more details on appropriate medical testing to rule out conditions that contribute to the pain & low energy, such as hormone problems, which are very common in our group, and which are relatively easy & inexpensive to treat.

    Best wishes.
  10. loto

    loto Member

    don't give up. I, too work a 40 hour per week job. I, too, go home so tired, my family is lucky if I even cook supper. My kids are teenagers, so they can feed theirselves, but I still feel like I'm not being a good mother, or a good wife. I do take Cymbalta, which helps with some of my pain, and probably keeps me from being constantly depressed. I do get down sometimes, so sick of living like I do, so tired of being tired. I haven't a clue what could give me more energy and stamina, to keep me from falling asleep for the night at 8:30! Like I said, I'm so tired of being tired.
    Anyway, don't give up. Please talk to your doctor, and see what he suggests you can do. I don't have a Fibromyalgia "specialist" in my area, I rely on my primary care doctor. He does ok, but I know he hasn't the faintest idea what to do with me and my Fibromyalgia. I wish there were more doctors who would research these things.
    Please hang in there, and stay on this board for support!
  11. Pansygirl

    Pansygirl New Member

    Please don't give up. Like someone else mentioned we need to keep trying to
    figure out what works best for us since we are all different.

    Sleep is big~ I know it plays a factor in how I feel from day to day when I don't
    get enough sleep.

    Also have you tried anything recently for pain? Getting some relief from
    pain has helped me to function better. THat said, Im not sure how you
    work a 40 hour week~ I can barely take care of my family without working.

    And I only do the bare minimum around the house
    I try not to worry about what I can't do...
    although that is easier said than done.

    This is a wonderful place with caring people and lots of information.

    Sending gentle hugs your way, Pansy (susan)
  12. FibroFay

    FibroFay New Member

    Do Not even think of giving up.

    Please get yourself under the care of a good doctor, possibly a rheumatologist who treats Fibromyalgia, and also a therapist for your depression.

    If you have no health insurance, go to your local emergency room and begin there. The doctors there can get you to the resources you need to be treated for this. You need help.

    I know you feel overwhelmed, but begin to get treatment. You can feel better.

    I'm glad you came to this board. We all can help you through this.

  13. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    Have you tried Pain medication - are you opposed to trying it?
    It may make a world of difference. Living with constant pain isnt' living. Getting some relief is unbelievable, even if it's for a short time.

    You need to visit with your Dr. and tell him how this is seriously affecting your life. You need immediate help.

    I know what it feels like to want to give up - but you can't, like you said, you have children and your pain would only be transferred to them, tenfold.

    You're exhausted and you're hurting. There is some help out there, you need to seek it and don't give up til you get the help you need!

    I promise a little relief will make a huge difference!

    We're here for you!!!

    Gentle huge!!! Please call your Dr. Don't try to be superwoman - no one can be.