giving up

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by hannahfaid, Sep 25, 2009.

  1. hannahfaid

    hannahfaid New Member

    I have no support system no one gets it anyone ever feel like just throwing in the towel?? I am just so discouraged
  2. sascha

    sascha Member

    give YOURSELF all the support you can through this tough time. search, keep seeking for what you need and DESERVE and hang on; something will appear on your horizon. i know, we go through dark times, and can only hang on while it's bad- but search for help- good therapist? anti-depressants- any support groups in your area- any family you can call on- any services through a nearby church? don't give up- all the best to you- Sascha *Write back- check back in!! i'll look for your name
  3. thisonecoolgirl

    thisonecoolgirl New Member

    Yes - been there - wanted to give up, check out, be done. It sounds so tempting sometimes, but you have to find a place in yourself where that is not an option. Period. Through depression, addiction and now CFS, I've hit some hard lows and it's tough - when you're tired and you're hurting and there is no one and nothing around that seems meaningful.

    Great advice from Sascha on the support groups - including this one!!!! I don't have much to add, really, except that you will get on the other side of that feeling, and you will be a stronger person for having done so. But you know what? No one said you have to do it today. Give yourself today. Grieve a little. Get angry. Cry. Sleep. Order a pizza. Write in a journal. Taking a day off is not the same as giving up, and sometimes, we all just need a day to Be and to Feel.

    It will be okay. How do I know this? Well, life has a pretty good track record. I mean, I can think of a million times when I felt "nothing is ever going to be okay again" but, here I am, and it's Saturday morning, and you know what? Everything's okay. It really is.

    Sending you love and good thoughts and a prayer that you find some light in your day.

  4. FibroFay

    FibroFay New Member

    You have us. And you have a doctor, don't you? That's something for starters. We can be pretty supportive here. So, don't think you have no support system.

    Can you get to a counselor? That always helps me when I get in a funk. And I've been there often. Whenever I feel hopeless and helpless I find it helps to get outside help. It helps me look at things more positively once again. It's a shame we need to pay someone to encourage us and stand by us, but if family and friends cannot fill the roll then a professional counselor is a good next choice.

    If cost is an object, there may be a non-profit in your community where they charge on a sliding scale. Your doctor would know where you can get the help you may need.

    Do not give up. It's not an option.

    Just the time things look darkest, I find they change! There are more good days ahead. Keep the faith!

    Love, Fay
  5. jole

    jole Member

    Hi Hannah. They're right, you know. You have a very strong support system right here! We all care, because we've all been where you are, and know how hard it is.

    That "all alone" feeling is horrible....and real, at times, 'cause no one else can feel exactly what another person does. But feelings are okay, as long as you work through them.

    The thing that helps me the most is God and nature. Sitting outdoors, just "being" a part of it all. Then after a few times you start to notice the beauty around you, and actual "feel" a part of it. The birds singing to lift your spirits, the critters scampering to make you smile, the breeze on your skin to make you all connects you back with life again.

    Counseling works wonders for a lot of people, and it helped me in one way only. I learned to wear a loose rubber band on my wrist, and whenever I had negative thoughts to immediately snap myself with that rubber band. It took awhile to get into the groove of doing this, but it really helped me realize how negative my thoughts had become.

    We need to focus on positive things.........yes, that's very hard to do when you're so down.......but so very necessary.

    Anyway, this is what worked for me, and maybe there's something here that will help you. But at least remember that we all care about you, and want you to be happy. Please keep us posted on how you're doing, and if you believe in prayer, I'll pray for you...........Jole
  6. hannahfaid

    hannahfaid New Member

    well, been a trying few weeks.. I am trying to turn over a new leaf and do for me and not everyone else.. Loser BF is leavin... I bought 2 new plants! I bought a new sleigh bed! I always wanted one and some one never liked the footboard screw em.. MY footboard!! gonna try to pain a wall (accent wall) or have someone help me or do it for me.. just trying to get my place MINE... quit grooming.. just petsitting and thats not makin any money, seems more like a great therapeutic hobby LOL
    made some friend lost some.. miss home..hate AZ LOL trying to make the best of it...hard when ur all alone.. no family, no close friends.. im tryin
  7. sascha

    sascha Member

    i've come to realization that it takes courage to cope with our illness. COURAGE.

    i've needed to search for that lately- have been endlessly sick sick sick- down and out- gets v.v.v. discouraging & depressing.

    so i look for courage to see me through and take all the steps i can to take care of myself. i can't help being ill. i don't want to be ill. but this is my situation. sometimes i have a better spell and can do some things- see some people- and sometimes for stretches of time, i just can't. so that's my deal. i look around the world and know there are so many people dealing with so much pain and heartache- i will just do my best with mine and continue to hope for best outcomes- all the best to you, Sascha
  8. marley69

    marley69 New Member

    hope u got some good plants...I am out here in Ga....always wanted to try livin in Az, the heat helps my condition(not the fatigue but alot of other things)...we sound alot alike....I have had cfs for 15 years and have lost alot of friends and family...simple truth is this disease just cant be understood by someone healthy and trying to explain can put you over the edge....doctors, friends, all can get to be too much...I got sick when I was 17 and struggled for eight years to find any sort to relief....found relief now how to beg to get it...luckily I have time to rest...for now....but everyday is def. a challenge
  9. hannahfaid

    hannahfaid New Member

    so hard to [pinpoint when it all happens... you think ur just tired and it just never seems to go away... I may have had this as early as my teens I rmemeber the pain started in my 20s but I just thought I was stressed out and got used to hurting all the time... when I fell asleep in a meeting I knew something was wrong.. still took 4 years to get a hypothyroidsim diagnoses and it all fell into place..
    I am one pisssed off lady though..tired of trying to explain my limitations and them being ignored... dont want to isolate myself but dont want to be a part of a bunch of uncaring morons either LOL
  10. wendysj

    wendysj New Member

    Hi Hannhfaid,

    I'm sorry you are having such a hard time right now. I hate that there are so many of us who were sick for YEARS before we were given the correct diagnosis. That alone can make you depressed and take away your self confidence.

    I think the most important thing to do is to remember there will be another day when you can see the "sun" through the "clouds". It may be tomorrow or next week but it will come. In the mean time, you can find some new hobbies to keep your mind off of feeling like crap. (I read a lot!)

    I also struggle between being a social person or the girl that never leaves the house. It's important for us to get out, if we can. I try not to go out with anyone that doesn't already know I'm sick. That takes away all the explaining.

    With regards to the "uncaring morons", forget them. You have enough to worry about. If you notice people that aren't sympathetic, try to remember that they don't matter to you. The people we love are the only ones we need to help understand what we are going through.

    The sun will come out for you soon...

  11. monkeykat

    monkeykat Member

    hi, i have felt that way off and on for 7 years. i feel that way this week. i have no support system either expect for a spouse who is really supportive. i hate that i get angry, sad, fearful, etc and my husband has to hear about it more often than i'd like to tell him. i hate dumping on him and try to feel better but sometimes i just don't.

    are you taking anti-depressants? they don't help me much.

    i do have hope or some faith in God which helps me to not completely throw in the towel. sometimes i pray and surrender it all to God and i find peace. sometimes i don't find peace but i find courage to keep trying to stay hopeful.

    it's normal to be discouraged and want to throw in the towel so don't beat yourself up b/c you feel that way. but just remember that there are millions of us who are in the same place you are in and we are all holding on together even when we feel completely alone.

    Keep Hope Alive, Monkeykat
  12. jasminetee

    jasminetee Member

    Hi All--good to see you Monkeycat :)

    I know how you all feel. I'm glad we're not alone and we can all relate. It's threads like this that really help me deal with all this. Someone above said it takes COURAGE to deal with this and they are right but I'd never thought of it that way before. We are all courageous and we will be OK.

    ((((((((((((((Group Hug)))))))))))))))))

  13. monkeykat

    monkeykat Member

    Hey Tee,
    Good to see you on here too. I don't get on here much as reading is very difficult for me these days and exhausts me too much. I always feel more cheerful when I see your name : )

  14. hannahfaid

    hannahfaid New Member

    ok well, having these dds isnt bad enough... I walked into my coffee table a few weeks ago.. Pain dr took xrays and an mri... I have a torn meniscus, a torn ligament and a lateral separation
    I am really not up for surgery with my pain threshold being so low... I see orthopaedic dr next week.. I have no idea what the options are for repairing this...Been bummed all day
    well, I gotta do what I gotta do...
    funny thing is I get no help around here to begin with, whats gonna happen when I am down for a few days?? dont want to think about it :(
  15. nah.stacey

    nah.stacey Member


    I have had many days like you are talking about. This board has been a great help, where else can you go and tell them I feel like sssshhhhaaaaaaaaaa, and they understand, or you roar in frustration GGGGGRRRRRRR, and everyone responds with we know just what you mean.
    Not many places like here where everyone is in the same boat or at least nearly all the same.

    Don't beat yourself up because you have bad days, you may not have the physical support at hand but you do have the emotional support at hand. Someone is always here, and if you need immediate response and special support go the chat room and someone is in there for you.
    I was sooooo sad the other night around 3:00 in the am (chronic insomnia and out of ambien)
    I was feeling so very alone and sorry for myself. I got on there and sure enough some other insomniac was on and he made me feel so better. No one ever belittles you for whining, it's part of how we feel better. Just talking to another soul who literally feels your pain is a great healer.
    Keep coming to us, someone will always be here for you.
  16. hannahfaid

    hannahfaid New Member

    thank you so much for the kind words... guess I am ust feeling sorry for myself these days.. bad relationship ending.. possible surgery..moved here for some guy and now hes gone and I cant move LOL we do dumb things when we are in love...
    maybe with him gone I will get back on my big girl pants and get myself together
  17. caroleye

    caroleye New Member

    In my late 60's; started w/dx of CFS in the 80's; then Lupus; then Fibro. Then 'ex' after 35 years of marriage/friendship lost his job, and his mind. Told me he felt his"mortality" (he's healthy as a horse), and wanted total freedom from any commitment.
    Left me alone & disabled. Never have lived alone; hate it, but now being housebound, with no family or friends, my illness has progressed big time.
    Can't drive; no energy to physically do anything. Becoming hard to take a shower & dress.
    No energy to get out to meet others. Loneliness so bad at night. Need human touch if only occasionally, but how to get that. Counselors can't go where I'm at (I'm a retired psychological counselor).

    So now dealing w/huge anger & depression of having my 'ex' of 35 years just leave & he travels & plays. A definitely narcisstic personality.

    Do have a small dog, but he's getting older & becoming alot of work that sometimes I just can't handle. I"ve had a near death experience, and so wish I could just pass in my sleep & go to that place again. I've suffered way too long.

    Even Mother Theresa said that loneliness is the hardest to deal with. I believe that. My hope has disappeared because I don't have "better" days; just waiting to leave.
  18. kat0465

    kat0465 New Member

    it's hard hanna, Probably the hardest thing you will ever have to do. But nows the time for hope! things are going on everywhere for us!!
    hang in there,
    I'd take a little bit of Great than a lifetime of pain & nothing special! were so close!!!
    and like the other posts said, were all here for you.
    we can be each others support!
    ths is my only support also, and i live with a house full of people :(
  19. hensue

    hensue New Member

    I could tell by your post you are in a lot of mental and physical distress. We are all in this together and suffering. We need you strength in numbers. When I am down I might need you.
    Right now I know you are suffering but please remember we are just like you. We are here for you.

    We are your fibro friends and we are going to win this fight together. Do not give up ok!

  20. jami117

    jami117 New Member