Going crazy

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by minkanyrose, Sep 8, 2006.

  1. minkanyrose

    minkanyrose New Member

    push and crash really hit home here. I am a single mom with 2 teen age daughters at home 16 and 18 in high school.and 2 sons 23 and 24,and a daughter in law. We go to counseling for coming out of an abusive marriage.

    The counselor is very good I like him but am frustrated by his response to my need of help. He told us I shouldn't rely on my daughters for all the help I need. yet I have no one else. I can't afford someone to come in and clean or shop for me.

    I feel guilty asking for so much as I was a do it yourself person.(wonder woman) well wonder woman crashed hard 5 years ago and haven't been the same since.

    I have had fibromyalgia as the dominate diagnosis for as long as I can remember with out being diagnoisted. with many others secondary. 5 years ago I was totally down for 6 months all I could do was go to the restroom. I thought my life was over but thanks to a great doctor and accupuncture I was able to walk again.

    In 2004 I feel like my whole life was over ( the life I knew anyway) oldest daughter age 15 at the time had her permit and I was to exhausted to drive or pay attention and we got t-boned by a dodge durange on my side the passenger side I was knocked out for six hours. Got a concussion. on the lighter side on my bad days I tell my daughters as a joke I feel like I was hit by a dodge durango.that was in may.

    In june of that year my dad died from liver cancer. in september my grand father died of old age. and in october on our anaversary my husband informed me he found someone who wasn't a hypocondriac.

    2004 the worst year of my life I am just picking up the peices. I never could figure out how everyone around me could have a job take care of the family and house and not be tired. I was never a lazy person so this pushed me to do more and be better only as you all know it got worst.

    kicking and fighting the whole way I live in a not so tidy house and I drives me crazy and in turn I drive my daughters crazy.

    everyone tells me find a balance and I can't seem to get there. I have a hard time living with guilt of I shoulds and I can't.

    I see everyone else has that same out look but how do you keep it from driving you crazy?

    Thnk you for letting me vent I needed that.
  2. s--raquel

    s--raquel New Member

    Good morning...So sorry you feel so guilty (and obviously
    overwhelmed!) I know exactly how you feel! I'm still trying
    to find a balance...I do too much on my good days...then
    can't do anything and feel guilty on my bad ones!!

    I have to disagree with your counselor...I believe family
    members should help one another...sick or not! I think
    human beings should help one another also...but that doesn't seem to be very popular with the general population! Popular or not...Helping each other is something that we all should do...

    And your babies are big babies...no little ones...So do the
    best you can and ask them to please do the same...they are
    way old enough to pick up and take care of most things...

    Not doing all their laundry doen't make you love them any less....
  3. barbinindiana

    barbinindiana New Member

    what that counselor said to you. By your teens helping you they are learning to be kind, loving, and caring indiviuals.

    The world will be a better place for having your children in it.

    I'm old enough to remember when adult children would more often than not, take their elderly parents into their home rather than send them to a nursing home. Grandparents became an inportant part of the family.

    People used to really know their nieghbors, and everyone in the nieghborhood knew when someone was is need and would pitch in to help out. Now most people are too busy with just trying to make a living to really get to know their neighbors, let alone know when their neighbor needs a helping hand.

    I remember when neighbors got together in the evening and talked, or played cards, watch their children play together, etc, instead of being stuck inside watching tv or playing video games.

    Yes, I believe it used to be a kind world, and we were better off for it.

    Television shows and movies have taugh our children to talk disrespectful to their parents and to each other. Think the things they have is who they are. They are learning that it's not their job to care for their parents when their parents are old or ill.

    Your children are learning wonderful lessons by helping you, and rather than hurting them, it is helping them to be loving adults that will make them happy people and people that others will be proud to know and have in their lives.

    Don't feel guilty. You are going to be so proud of those kids when they are out on their own, and they will be thankful for the lessons they learned when they were young.

    {{{{HUGS}}}}
    Barb


    [This Message was Edited on 09/09/2006]
  4. laura3951

    laura3951 New Member

    i gotta chime in! i have ra and was dx this april,i have a 2 year old son and a 16 year old daughter, plus a 17 year old that is a friend of my daughters that was in a neglegent household.i take mtx on fri and sat is a wash i have to have help. i give all i can during the week i cook everynight i drive them around i give them money for stuff, but when it is time to step up they do. this is family may not be the one they banked on but it is thiers. my kids are kind and will work without complaint, there is so much entitlement amoung teens who have never given only been given too, i think its good. also it makes them active in my disease which is very real. dont feel guilt they are old enough and shame on your counseler! they need freedom and space but also responsiblities sorry missy