going crazy!!!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by tslanker, Jul 30, 2003.

  1. tslanker

    tslanker New Member

    just spent three days in the hospital for supoddedly having a panic attack. Have had FMS for 10 years, and was in great control until I was taken off Elavil in Feb. In Feb. was diagnosed with severe anemia. Dr. thought Elavil could be supressing bone marrow production. Went through endoscopy of stomach and colon, nothing wrong, just heavy periods. Two weeks later ankles started swelling. A friend told me this is a sign of heart failure, so went to the Dr. He just said no, gave me a water pill and sent me on my way. I could not get the heart thing out of my mind. Couldn't eat, sleep, nothing. I got so nervous I began to shake inside. Went bact to the Dr. told me to relax I had no heart problem. Didn't ease my mind but I knew I had to get over it. Then my oldest daughter got very sick, had to take her to the ER, had a CT scan that showed kidney infection and gastritis. Then my youngest daughter who has diabetes started getting these bruises on her stomach. I knew they were from taking her insulin injections but she thought she had leukemia, so I spent weeks in her room at night trying to convince her she was not dying. OH, and did I mention that my mom lives next door and started to have rectal bleeding and I ended up in the ER with her. This should be the end of my pity party but it isn't. I really began having these internal shakes going on non stop and then I started feeling pressure in my head, and my face going numb. Then, I was feeling lightheaded, not like I was going to pass out, just kind of spacey or out of it. I got so scared that by the time I got to the ER my heart rate was up to 150 and I was freaking out. I had a chest x-ray, ekg, blood drawn about 12 times and finally a very nice female Dr. came in to talk to me. She said that going off the Elavil after 10 years and not replacing it with anything was a mistake. She also said that she had tested me for everything and that I was very healthy, except for the fact that I can't stop worrying, ever! She talked to me for the three days that i was in the hospital and she gave me klonopin for the shakes and xanax for when I'm freaking out and when I left there I felt much better. That was two weeks ago and I'm already sarting to worry again. Now I'm thinking that she didn't do an MRI on my brain so how does she know that there is not something wrong with me? The klonopin has helped the shaking more than I can say, but I still have that lighthead spacey feeling, and I'm still contantly worried. I think I'm really going crazy.
  2. Cactuslil

    Cactuslil New Member

    In my early twenties I began having anxiety attacks. I decided I must have a brain tumor or something horrid.

    Being young, much of my learning and wisdom yet to come, I was really bouncing off the wall.

    I looked in the phone book (living in Dallas TX at the time) and saw under physicians 'Women's Doctor' with only one physician listed!??? Made an appointment, drove with my then year old child, and when I pulled in I was shocked! There clearly marked was Psychiatrist. I did not know whether to run or get the guts to go through the door (this was 1969). Well, since I knew I was surely to die, with heart palpitation, FEAR of a brain tumor, I walked inside.

    I was treated for depression/anxiety since age 13 but a GP treated me. Well, I have never, until now, been without a psychiatrist. I do now have PostTraumaticStress Disorder, Panic attacks w/aggorophobia, and Major depression secondary to FMS. Dysthymia.

    I take Celexa (it does not interfere with my other meds & the only SSRI I can take w/out getting TardivesDystonia) for the depression and due to recent circumstances, am taking the Granddaddy of them all Xanax. I take therapeutic doses of Deseryl (ceased the Elavil) and take Levsin for the IBS triggered by the panic attacks. I am also now 53 and a little smarter and hopefully wiser.

    The rheumy who diagnosed me 9 years ago said those of us with FMS/MPS (which has now been changed to CPS) horse of another color....qualified at that time, for hospice strength pain relief, if it ever became necessary.

    Well, "hello"....CactusLil'
  3. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    It seems you simply have got to let go of the things you can't change, and accept the things you can do something about.

    You seem to be stressing over things that have already passed, its over, so just let it go.

    Worrying never helped anyone, but it sure can make you sick.

    If you can over do the Klonopin and the Xanax, I have not a clue what to tell you.

    You seem to be obsessing to the point of distraction.

    Try to just live your life, and not worry about every little thing that you think could be wrong with you.

    Any of us would lose it if we did that.

    Go back to the doctor if you must, and maybe they can soothe your mind about what is wrong with you, or not wrong.

    Shalom, Shirl

    PS Please go read the post; 'Excessive Worry' posted by; 'Kim', it may help you a great deal along with what CactusLil just wrote.
    [This Message was Edited on 07/30/2003]