Good Morning Thank You

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by mtinash, Jul 14, 2008.

  1. mtinash

    mtinash New Member

    I would like to thank everyone for their kind words during this most tragic time in my life. I sit around my house and wonder how I am going to make it through the next minute since my wonderful Josh left me. My whole life was filled with how to help him and make him happy and now that he is gone, I feel so lost and can't seem to concentrate on anything. My friends try to get me out of the house, but every time I leave the house I feel like I am leaving him. Our home and his things are the only thing I have left of him and somehow that seems to bring me a little comfort.

    I know it is going to take a long time if every to come to terms with what has happened but I can't seem to imagine life without him.

    My friends and family all told me that this was going to be the hardest time, when the service was over with and everyone went home, they were certainly correct. I called a crisis hot line to try to get involved with a support group for surviors of suicide and they told me someone would call me back and they never did. I guess out mental health system in the US fails everyone, the victim and the survior.

    I sincerely hope that everyone on this site can find a doctor who can help them and if you ever get to the point mentally that my precious Josh did that you will cry out as loud as you can for help to your family members.

    May God Bless each and everyone of you.


    HURTIN New Member

    Hi Bennie

    Your post pulled at my heartstings. I feel so bad for you, and I feel even badder because I can't help. I just want you to know that I'm praying for both YOU and JOSH! Your feelings of loss and loneliness is inevitable and unavoidable. Although Josh has left you "lonely", it's not good to be "alone".

    When you're "alone" (at a time like this), you tend to think too much which could possibly lead to depression, ill health premature aging, mental instability among other things.

    I know it's hard, but the best thing for you at this time is to surround yourself with people you love and lean on your faith. Please know that I care!

  3. jasminetee

    jasminetee Member

    I went back and reread some of your posts to familiarize myself again with what happened with your husband. It seems like just yesterday you were asking for advice for him for dealing with his FMS. I am glad we could be here for you. I have tears in my eyes after reading and remembering his story and situation. You and yours are in my prayers.

  4. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    I've been thinking about you...
    As I mentioned in another post, I have a friend who went through what you've experienced 3 years ago.

    Time does help ease the pain.
    She planted a tree in memory of her husband. It has helped her a lot.

    As others have suggested. Surround yourself with loved ones. I know the hardest time has to be when everyone else moves on with their lives and you're left with a totally different life without Josh.

    When you want to talk about him - as you'll probably want to - we're here to listen! I personally would love to hear about him.

    Take care of yourself!
  5. lrning2cope

    lrning2cope New Member

    You are also in my prayers Bennie . I can't even imagine how you may feel , but I do feel the pain right along with you . I have had loved ones die and for me , the pain eventually turns into happy memories with sometimes , just a tinge of pain .

    I am so sorry the crisis line let you down . Sometimes these lines are run by volunteers who haven't been trained well. If you look under bereavement or mourning on Google , you might find a better support group source.

    One thing - let yourself grieve . It is not only OK , it is the natural course of things. Let it out. If not now , it will come out later. Everyone is different . There is not a 'right' way to grieve.

    Also , please don't ever think that Josh passing was in any way your fault. You did all that you could . I think that doing all that you could showed Josh how much he was loved.

    Please know that you are in my prayers and that things will get better . You probably have heard that a lot , but it is so true. Just please continue to reach out like you have done here. Keep posting as much as you would like. There are compassionate people here.

    Also , please keep trying for a bereavement support group. It helps so much to be able to share your feelings with other people who have gone/are going through the same situation.

    In His Grace,
    [This Message was Edited on 07/17/2008]
  6. marti_zavala

    marti_zavala Member

    I am sorry to learn of your loss. I have never lost a close family member so I cannot imagine the hole in your life.

    Please take good care of yourself as I am sure your husband would want you to be happy.

    God will fill the hole in your heart as only He can.

  7. texangal81

    texangal81 New Member

    Everyone's advice to you is great. If your home and Josh's things bring you comfort, I don't see anything wrong with leaning on that. Perhaps you can have a friend or family member over to share how it comforts you. And I agree about talking. Talk all you want about Josh, I too would love to hear about him. If any of your real world friends tell you not to focus on him, well pooh on them. Log on here and talk all you want. If you feel lonely, try out the chat rooms. There is a room for everything. They aren't always full, but you can always find a room with a few people in it and even if that isn't your particular ailment, 'walk' in and introduce yourself and you'll find instant companionship.

    While my nasty divorce nearly 10 years ago pales in comparision to your loss, a chat room and the family I formed while in that room saved my life. You might even try to find a good grief room to express your feelings.

    I'm one who believes that the internet is a GOOD place to be and can provide us with so much knowledge and comfort. All you hear are the bad things that happen, but the interet was key in my transforming my life years ago. And it is going to be the key as I struggle every day with this DD.

    Take care and we love you.