Good Morning!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by marinemom, Aug 28, 2002.

  1. marinemom

    marinemom New Member

    Hello Everybody

    Just thought I'd get on here and vent a little. As I have posted before, I'm a newbie to this stuff, and am "trying" to learn more about it. Actually printed off a couple of pages on FM so my hubby could read what I am going through. He insisted that I call his mother, since she also had a cyst on her ovary (previous Message) and he really thought that all my symptoms were from that! Well, I knew that they weren't but I called her anyway, since she and I get along GREAT! Of course, I was right, and after I got off the phone with her (1 hour later) I informed Mr. I Know Everything, that her symptoms were totally different from mine. He had NOTHING to say. I could just scream, but it would take way too much energy!

    I've managed to get my 12 year old son into some kind of routine. Fear is a wonderful tool!! =)

    I just get very frustrated when NO ONE wants to understand that some days even blinking hurts. I have noticed that I do have good days. The other day, hubby left town (job), child was at school, and I wasn't in agony. Of course, my first thought was to run through the house with the scissors shouting "I'm free, I'm free". But what I DID do was strip the bed and get ALL the laundry done and put up, vacumed the living room and scrub at a couple of spots on the carpet. Finished the dishes, mopped the kitchen floor, and cleaned master bath. Dumb, dumb, dumb. I have now learned that to try and do EVERYTHING in one day makes one pay for it in the evening! =)

    Well, thanks for listening. Hope all have a great day.

    Smiles
    Kathy
    [This Message was Edited on 08/29/2002]
  2. marinemom

    marinemom New Member

    Hello Everybody

    Just thought I'd get on here and vent a little. As I have posted before, I'm a newbie to this stuff, and am "trying" to learn more about it. Actually printed off a couple of pages on FM so my hubby could read what I am going through. He insisted that I call his mother, since she also had a cyst on her ovary (previous Message) and he really thought that all my symptoms were from that! Well, I knew that they weren't but I called her anyway, since she and I get along GREAT! Of course, I was right, and after I got off the phone with her (1 hour later) I informed Mr. I Know Everything, that her symptoms were totally different from mine. He had NOTHING to say. I could just scream, but it would take way too much energy!

    I've managed to get my 12 year old son into some kind of routine. Fear is a wonderful tool!! =)

    I just get very frustrated when NO ONE wants to understand that some days even blinking hurts. I have noticed that I do have good days. The other day, hubby left town (job), child was at school, and I wasn't in agony. Of course, my first thought was to run through the house with the scissors shouting "I'm free, I'm free". But what I DID do was strip the bed and get ALL the laundry done and put up, vacumed the living room and scrub at a couple of spots on the carpet. Finished the dishes, mopped the kitchen floor, and cleaned master bath. Dumb, dumb, dumb. I have now learned that to try and do EVERYTHING in one day makes one pay for it in the evening! =)

    Well, thanks for listening. Hope all have a great day.

    Smiles
    Kathy
    [This Message was Edited on 08/29/2002]
  3. MicheleF

    MicheleF New Member

    As supportive as my husband has been, he too seems to grasp at straws sometimes. And, like yours, seems to take something way out of context and see that as the "cure" or the reason which can then be fixed.

    I had to chuckle 'cause I had to reread the post on the cyst...thought I somehow had implied that this was the source of all your problems. However, I was pleased (sorry, your hubby's name) that I did not have a fibrofog thing & say anything of the sort! lol

    If your dr. is supportive, try to bring your husband with you to your next appt., it did help my husband to hear it from the dr's mouth. (I think some men haven't progressed as fast as us & still believe that whatever a dr says is gospel. And notice, I said some, not all!)

    I did the overdo part thing one day when I was feeling well. It just is gonna take us a while to learn how to pace ourselves. It sounds so easy, doesn't it; but strive we must or we will pay for it later.

    Oh, and now my son is 13; if I didn't recommend him jumping on you at 4, I certainly wouldn't rent him out at 13...lol. At least for the breaking of the cyst, hmmmmm...lol

    Take care. Vent when you want, that's what we're here for. Michele
  4. marinemom

    marinemom New Member

    Don't guess I'll be asking to "rent" your son now, huh?! =)

    Yeah, I've got a great Doctor. He's a family practioner (?) but he listens. He is the one that told me I really wasn't loosing my mind! It was a relief, let me tell you!

    As for my husband going with me, well, I would rank that possibility up there with the National Deficit reaching -0-!

    It just won't happen. He won't even go when HE needs to. His idea of medicine is "Honey, call YOUR doctor and get me something for this cough." Yeah, right! Oh well.

    I'm learning! I hope =)

    Smiles
    Kathy
  5. MicheleF

    MicheleF New Member

    My husband & I normally have an honest relationship. However, I slightly ... misled...as to my reasons for him going to the doctor with me. I told him I was afraid I'd be too tired to drive home after the exam (that was a possibility, it was!) and that I was afraid I'd get the dr's orders confused (fibrofog)and I was so nervous (which I was) about going & what I'd be told that I was afraid I'd forget what to say (completely glossing over the fact that I was taking 5 pages of notes w/ me). If I had asked him to go so that he could better understand my illnesses, he would have flatly refused to go, saying that he did understand & would take my word on it. The end result was that he does have a much better handle on what I have, and he really liked the doctor, which in turn made me feel better.

    If the above doesn't work, or you'd rather not go that way, see if your dr. will give you some lit for him to read it.

    I also left info (the patient guide was a good one)lying around on the coffee table, in both ours & our boys bathrooms in the hopes that they'd pick it up out of boredom if nothing else.

    Take care and have patience; I'm sure he'll come around in time. Michele
  6. tired42long

    tired42long New Member

    Hi Kathy, you sound just like me. My husband is supportive in that he doesn't judge, doesn't complain, and doesn't rub anything in that I am sick and unable to do alot to help out with family (and esp. w/ finances after losing job to this). BUT, he also doesn't take too much of an interest. I became very hurt that when his mother found she had non-Hodgkins lymphoma, he toatally SCOPED THE ENTIRE NETWORK to find answers and give her info. He doesn't do much of this for me (us). I even asked for help with ssd filing and he hasn't done anything with that...even though the little bit of money would help us so we weren't scraping by every month. As for dr. appts, I am unable to drive and he HAS to go with me. When I want him to come in to see doc with me, he will. But he takes no initiative. I have cried in ANGUISH that he should help fight this WITH me and help get the docs to listen. They are so easily resigned to putting us off because they don't know how to "fix" this...it is a slap to their ego maybe? I did order the handouts for family and he had to have it placed in his hands before he would actually read it. No response. Now I have asked him to read some books on environmental toxins, food and nutrition causes,etc.I told him he has to because I can't retain it...he is a bit skeptical of some things in the books,,,,but who can fight with SCIENCE??!!!(I have to laugh because I think it raised his ego asking him for help because I am just a "lowly" layperson that doesn't understand alot of advanced science etc.) Ha! Ha! Whatever gets them involved.!! My kids are mostly scared about this so the brochure was helpful for my 15 yr old....I think she thought I was the only one. It is so hard for my little ones to understand.They just know mom is sick and can't go to the park and stuff.And I am the same way about pushing my self on a good day. I try to do too much, then pay for it dearly. It also gives family false hope that I MUST be better then. AAAARRRRGGGHHH!Some battles ya just can't win. That is why this group is so important to me...and I have only been here a few weeks. Thank God for understanding friends. Smiles back, eileen