great gran

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by SophiaCombs, Jun 26, 2008.

  1. SophiaCombs

    SophiaCombs New Member

    Hi, I am new here but you have just voiced what I think a lot of us go through. We have fifteen children the youngest six adopted special needs. Our oldest is thirty-one our youngest is nineteen. We have twelve grand children. We own a cattle ranch and cutting horses. I have been an extremely busy mom. But for the last year I have had the feelings that you are talking about. It as been very difficult. I did all the horse training and have been unable to hardly even get out there. I really didn't think there was anyone out there who would understand what i am going through. I know it is really hard for my family to watch me going through this. I also make it more difficult for them being the mom I don't want to complain or not be there for them. It has been so hard. What I mean is I wouldn't tell them specifics because I felt I was letting them down. My husband found me two weeks ago sitting in the dirt, in the corral, with three horses standing around me and I was crying like a baby. I scared him to death he thought they had hurt me. But what had triggered this whole thing was just an innocent comment at breakfast that he made ' We would need at least two more horses ready in a week for rounding up cows" my job. He had absolutely no idea that I just could not do it. I was in so much pain that just walking out there was all I could do. I have tried to hide a lot of my problems. When I first got sick my oldest daughter just did not believe that I was really sick. She and I had been really close. She and her husband moved away and I haven't seen my three grad children for a year. That hurt so badly that I have tried to suck it up and just kept pushing until I could hardly move. You are not alone in this. At first when I read the posts here they made me cry but just the knowing that someone out there knows what your dealing with is very healing mentally. It is no joke it has been the hardest thing I have ever dealt with bar none.After raising fifteen children some with very complex medical issues I can't believe how hard it is. But it is. I am not very good at explaining myself but what I am trying to say hang in their I have learned some people will understand some won't you just have to let go of those that don't and focus some of your strength on yourself. I have learned a lot just reading others posts. You can safely vent here and people seem to understand that in it self is worth everything Soft hugs Sophia