GREATGRAN......(long)

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by Milo83, Aug 30, 2004.

  1. Milo83

    Milo83 New Member


    Hello, my name is Donna & it seems we are in almost the same situation right now...
    "TRY TO GO EASY ON YOURSELF" - I know how hard it can be, going through the same thing...
    My Mother has been in a NH for 3.5yrs, because of health problems and some dementia...
    One of her major health problems was she needed blood transfusions every 6-8 weeks, and her last one was in Feb...She had said at her last one - NO MORE...It was very hard for me to agree to it, BUT I DID, being her POA...

    EVERYONE FINDS IT AMAZING THAT SHE IS STILL HERE.....

    She took a turn for the worse on June 27, and has gone down hill since then...She is now bedridden, or geri chair, and has to be moved with a lift...IT IS VERY HARD TO SEE MY MOM LIKE THIS - I always went to visit my Mom about 3x weekly, but since this turn for the worse, I was going every day for over a month, - TILL FINALLY MY BODY TOLD ME - IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO DO...

    Yes, I have cut down on my visits and at times feel guilty, even though every one at the NH tells me, you can't be here all the time, WE ARE HERE TO HELP HER IN ANYWAY WE CAN - Please take some time for your family and your health...I HAVE DONE JUST THAT...I'm not saying it's easy, but I think your Mom would want that too - for you to take care of yourself...

    I have anxiety/depression/panic disorder, along with Fibro, Arthritis, Autoimmune Hepatitis, Scleroderma, and all the ailments that go along with these diseases - I know how I feel everyday, and even the days that I am there for Mom, I'm starting to cut my visits shorter, I can't put this any other way but to say, as I walk through those NH doors, I could throw-up most of the time - My mom is so sick and so frail looking, it breaks my heart...
    The Lord knows you have done everything possible, so it's time to listen to your body and your mind...

    It's no good to go in there all the time, when it causes panic attacks for yourself...BELIEVE ME, I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE IT IS NOT EASY, but there are some things in life, that we just have to make adjustments to...And not to make ourselves feel guilty over...

    I truly understand how you feel and it's not easy by any chance....BUT YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR OWN BODY BEFORE YOU CAN BE A HELP TO ANYONE ELSE........
    Did you try staying home and calling the NH on the days that you do not go in......I do, and it seems to take a little of the guilt off - I know if she gets closer and closer to death, the NH will tell me of any changes, and then I would drop everything and run over.......

    BTW - do you have Hospice involved - they are great........

    I will be sending prayers for you and your Mom, along with your daughter.........

    Take Care.......God Bless.......Love, Donna
  2. Milo83

    Milo83 New Member


    for greatgran.........
  3. Milo83

    Milo83 New Member


    Just hoping that greatgran will see this..........

    Love, Donna
  4. Milo83

    Milo83 New Member


    It looks like greatgran is gone - I really wish she would come back - I think her and I could really help each other at this difficult time........

    Sending prayers for greatgran.........

    Take Care.........Love, Donna
  5. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    Dearest Donna,

    Thank you so much for the sweetest
    letter and most informative..

    I had tears reading it and could relate to every word said..You are
    correct we have to take care of
    ourselves before we can care for others...

    I will keep you in my prayers and
    know God will give us the strength
    when the time comes...He will never let us be alone.

    Sorry, it has taken me so long to reply but due to the storms in our
    area I have been without internet for
    4 days. Just got back on today.

    I am going to print your letter out
    and keep it with me..

    Love and Prayers,
    greatgran
  6. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    Donna,
    Just wanted to let you know I am here
    for you if you ever need to vent, pray or whatever.

    Sounds like you are doing very well
    considering your circumstances. Do you mind telling if you take meds
    for your anxiety etc.if so what helps. I might have mentioned this
    but I take xanax 3 times a day .25
    does seem to take the edge off at times..Have had a lot of negative
    feedback about taking it from those
    are "normal".

    You ask about Hospice my Mom is not with hospice for some reason she does
    not meet the criteria since she has no terminal dig.

    Thanks again,
    greatgran


  7. Milo83

    Milo83 New Member


    I'm so happy that you have responded...How is your Mom doing right now...I had taken Wed. & Thurs. off from going into the NH, but went yesterday - her mind is getting worse, sometimes I wonder if she "really" knows who I am at times........It is so hard to watch.....

    I don't have a lot of time at this moment, but will be back...

    You asked about my meds for anxiety/depression/panic disorder - ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE READY FOR THIS:
    Xanax - 1mg - 4x daily
    Effexor - 150mg in morning and 75 at lunch
    Trazadone - 50mg at bedtime........

    You are on a very low dose of xanax, maybe it could be bumped up just a little, talk to your doc.......and it doesn't have to be forever, just to get you through this difficult time.......

    I really don't know if I should be posting all of this on the Worship Board, so why don't you stop over on the Chit Chat board - we can chat there, plus there is always something funny going on - it really helps with all that we are going through........

    I will check this board later, and also the chit chat........

    Sending prayers.........Take Care......Love, Donna
  8. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    Thanks for your reply. I will make
    this short, just wanted to let you
    know I do not have access to the chat
    room because I only have Webtv.
    Since we can't chat here you will be
    in my thoughts and prayers.

    God Bless
    Greatgran
  9. Milo83

    Milo83 New Member


    You said you don't have access to the chat room - I meant the chit chat board - can you get on there.....
    I know some other's that have web tv, but can access all of the boards...
    Just scroll to the top of the page, where it says, MESSAGE BOARDS,and CLICK ON THAT, AND THEN WHEN YOU SEE THEM ALL LISTED, JUST CLICK ON CHIT CHAT........

    It is a board, just like this one.......

    I don't know much about web tv, so I hope I'm not leading you in the wrong path...

    I really would like to chat with you more...

    How are you feeling........How's your mom doing......
    Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.......
    Take Care.......Love, Donna
  10. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    Thanks, I found the chit chat board
    and left you a message under "plans
    for labor day weekend".

    I had never noticed that there was
    a chit chat board. I was thinking of
    the chat room. Shows you how smart I am. lol.

    Hope things are going ok for you and we will talk later.

    Take care and God Bless,
    greatgran