Grief from my boss

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by katiebug61, Aug 4, 2008.

  1. katiebug61

    katiebug61 New Member

    Well I was told today that I will be getting an informal discussion soon. I have used up all my vacation and sick leave due to the fact that I had pneumonia in January 08. I was able to take a vacation in July for one week. I felt really good during the vacation, but... it caught up with me when I came back. Now he is telling me I have no time left and is going to have to have a talk with me. He said it is a part of his job that he doesn't like and didn't think he would have to do anymore. Well I am not going to like it either!
    I am not gone from work just for the heck of it. I don't like feeling like I've been run over and then rolled down a flight of stairs and then beaten with a ball bat. I would MUCH rather be at work. What can I tell him that won't make me sound like a whining female? I am so afraid I will be in tears. I bust my behind around here and work through lunches. I am an hourly person, but believe me, I donate time that I never get paid for because overtime is not allowed for hourly folks. My boss has me doing some parts of his job. I always get good reviews and told that I am super at customer service and helping people and knowlageable, etc. Why doesn't any of that come into play now?
    Thanks for letting me vent. If anyone has any advice, please I would really appreciate if you would share it. I have a feeling my "talk" will be on Thursday.
    Thanks again everyone!
  2. padre

    padre New Member

    Why do you think the "talk" will be so negative and even terminal? If what you say is true, and there is no reason to doubt it, your boss may have another option for you. Any boss knows that it is better to keep an employee even with some issues you know about than to have to hire and train someone with new issues that will surprise you.

    I'd say, wait until Friday and let us know what it is that you are going to have to deal with.

    Good luck and be patient.
  3. katiebug61

    katiebug61 New Member

    Thanks for your advice. I am trying to be positive, but, from the tone of his e-mail he sounds as if he is NOT happy. I guess I will just hang in there and try to state my case when the time comes.
  4. Sachmo500

    Sachmo500 New Member

    I too have been working with a wink and a nod with time.

    When its busy and I am feeling like I can handle it I work a lot of overtime and hardley ever take lunch.

    Try your best to document the extra time so when they have "the talk", you have documentation for all the extra time.

    I hope things work out well for you
  5. SpecialK82

    SpecialK82 New Member

    I don't know what kind of job you do, but you may want to think of a few ways that you could offer to make up for missed time in the future that he might accept.

    Maybe if you are out unexpectantly for a day, you could stay late, come in early, you said you work through lunches but does he see you do it? It's all in his perception because if he doesn't see it, it doesn't count unfortunately.

    Sorry to hear that you having a difficult time - another option may be to work at home part of the time if it's possible, that way you can work the hours that you feel best.

    I know since I may have to ask for favors, I try to excel in other areas that I can control (without getting completely stressed out of course) so that it is easier for my boss to accept my shortcomings - but it is definitely a daily struggle to even sit in my chair for 8 hours much less be terrific.

    hang in there!
  6. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    I hate when someone schedules a meeting and you have to think about it for several days before... Sorry this is not going to be a very encouraging message...

    It is so hard when you are not well to struggle with trying to work and keep up with everyone. I have become a actress over the years, pretending I felt great when I was barely making it from one day to the next.

    When you meet with him, try to look him straight in the eye when talking and breath deep to stay as relaxed as possible.

    If he brings up problems with your performance or attendance, try hard not to become defensive or feel sorry for yourself. Just acknowledge you understand, say "yes, I understand" - "I'll do the best I can in the future" That is not saying you agree, just understand what he said. stay in control and play the game.

    Be sincere when talking and tell him you appreciate the feedback, even though it may not be good this time. You welcome constructive criticism because you always strive to be a good employee. Say that it distresses you more when you must miss work, etc.

    That is all he wants to hear so keep it simple and get it over with. I really would not go into my personal medical condition with him about fibromyalgia, etc. If he does not already know, don't tell him.

    Believe me, he will not care, sadly almost no one cares. You will just be watched closer and perceived as someone they need to find a reason to fire. Sooner than later.

    I have worked in management for many years before I had my own business and trust me - this is true.

    Try hard not to get angry, or take your frustration out on him. That definitely won't help.

    If you disagree or he is wrong, calmly try to correct it.

    I don't know if this is a big company, or a small one. With larger companies you have more protection sometimes.

    [This Message was Edited on 08/05/2008]
  7. katiebug61

    katiebug61 New Member

    Thanks for the advice everyone. I have a clerical job in a nice cubicle. I do come in early when I know I have a Dr. appt and take a short lunch or stay late to make up lost time. If I miss an entire day, I could try to make up some of the time, but they give points for an unexcused absence, even if you have a Dr. appt. This place works on a points system.
    I haven't had a problem for 8 1/2 years. He is aware I have FM, because on the last sheet from the Dr that shows I was there and what they did, she listed FM and headaches as a complaint/diagnosis. I will simply state, like pvlady said that I am trying as hard as I can and I don't like missing work anymore than he likes it. I just hope he can understand, but I know this is a nation wide company, so....
    Thanks again for everyone's help and advice. I really need it!
  8. Pansygirl

    Pansygirl New Member

    Hi katie,

    I just wanted to offer my support and positive thoughts for your meeting . I do think you've gotten some great suggestions. Sending you gentle hugs, Susan
  9. katiebug61

    katiebug61 New Member

    You are all awesome. Thanks so much for all the advice and suggestions and support. This board is really a great place for people "like us" to be able to come to. :) No one else but others with FM can understand where we are coming from.
    I was going to be confrontational, but after reading what everyone has shared, I will be changing my tatics and approach differently. I just want to get it over with. The stress is making me hurt. It is just not easy to forget about it or NOT worry about it. I can hope and dream that he will listen to what I do have to say, but I realize in the big corporate world, one little bitty peon does not make much difference.
    Thanks again everyone and I will be posting an update after the meeting occurs.
    Gentle hugs to everyone!
  10. katiebug61

    katiebug61 New Member

    Thanks SO much for thinking of me. Nothing yet. I tell you this darn waiting is worse than having the "talk", I hope. I just want to have it and get it over with. I have been aching extra for the past 4 days. My sister came in town from KS and I only got to see her after work. I couldn't even come in late this morning, so I could see her off. My hands are breaking out. My dr has told me that I have Dyshidrotic eczema. Stress will cause my hands to break out and guess what!!!
    Jeerie, thanks again so much for the kind thoughts. It helps so much to know that others care and are thinking about you.
    Bless you and gentle, heartfelt hugs to you!!
  11. tig519

    tig519 Member

    For chronic illnesses, you can seek protection under FMLA. This is not the same as filing disability.

    This doesn't mean you get paid for time off, but it does allow you to have time off that is not counted towards a "point system" or "number of instances" discussion. Most employers have set attendance policies. To administer to one, you have to administer to all. When you are out for reasons relating to your FMLA condition, those can't be counted as absences as it relates to an absentee policy.

    This is not salvation by any means, even with FMLA, employers do have protection as well, especially small businesses.

    Most employees don't know about it. They think it's for pregnancy or short term disability. Check with your employer, typically HR to see what steps you have to take.
  12. katiebug61

    katiebug61 New Member

    Thanks Tig519. I hadn't thought about that. I also thought it was only for blocks of time for babies,caring for sick parents, kids, etc. I may have to mention this to my boss and see if it will help out our company and me both. Thanks a BUNCH for this info. I had never had that thought drift through my swiss cheese brain! :)
    Again, I say this board is an awesome resource and place of ultimate support. I can never say thank you to everyone enough!
    Katie in cooler Oklahoma