Guilt

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by krchamp, Dec 7, 2006.

  1. krchamp

    krchamp New Member

    I was sitting here alone tonight while my husband was out in the snow working overtime and I feel so guilty. I feel guilty for being sick with FMS and CFS. I feel guilty because he takes off of work to take me to the doctor then ends up working nights. I feel guilty because he doesn't have the wife that can go on trips without resting. I feel guilty just because I feel guilty.

    I feel guilty because my mom wonders if my illness was something she did wrong when she was carrying me or when I was young. I feel guilty because my mom tries to care for me and my grandma who has Alzheimers. I feel guilty because I make my dad see that he is just as sick as I am- when he doesn't want too.

    The biggest guilt I have involves my husband. I feel like he gets the crap end of the marriage. He never complains. He is always supportive and caring and would never say anything.

    I guess I am feeling sorry for myself tonight.

    Sorry for the rant. Crazy thing is is that I am a counselor and I work with people everyday but when it comes to myself I can't do a dang thing. How do I deal with this? My illness isn't going away so how do I make the guilt go away?

    Kristi
  2. Lynna62

    Lynna62 New Member

    Kristi,
    I read the perfect post yesterday that I just know would make you feel better but I CANT FIND IT !!!! It was from a woman who was feeling guilty also because she felt that her husband was overburdened by her illness. She made a list of everything she did to keep the household going. You would be surprised how much you do without even realizing it. Even little things like making phone calls count. I wish I didn't have brain fog so bad and could give you more examples.

    I will keep searching for the post but in the meantime I wanted you to know that you are not alone. Try to distract yourself for awhile if you can, watch a movie? go to bed early? I will come back to this tomorrow. Hang in there.

    If anyone can help find this post for Kristi please title the post "Krchamp and Lynna62" so we can find it. I will be sure to keep track of it this time.

    Thanks,
    Lynna
  3. Britt2

    Britt2 New Member

    I am just overwhelmed with Guilt.......same kind thing, guilt with not being able to hold a job, guilt that my boyfriend is having to bear the load, and yea, he is so supportive and great, would never say anything but I feel so badly that I am not 'normal' and can't keep up like I used to and have crashes all the time...... It is all I can do some days...the guilt kills me too. I am sorry that right now I dont have anything positive to help you, Im in a crash right now, but please no you are not alone....
    Hugs
    e
  4. dragon06

    dragon06 New Member

    I feel guilty all the time too. Feel guilty for sleeping, or just sitting there. For not cooking or walking the dogs. I basically feel like I contribute nothing to my family although they constantly try to remind me that I contribute and I am an important part of it.

    It works sometimes but I still feel guilty a lot.
  5. krchamp

    krchamp New Member

    I talked to him last night. He was so sweet and said that he would do anything he could for me. Then he started pointing out everything that I do for him even though I suffer from this junk. I guess I never realized that the biggest thing is that I love him. He was in a foster home during his childhood and never felt loved or cared about. He said that I am the first one who has ever loved him unconditionally. So, I do feel better. He is everything to me and he knows that. I make sure of that.

    Thanks for the replies. I really do appreciate that each of you took time to respond.

    Kristi