guilt

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by dacer, Mar 31, 2003.

  1. dacer

    dacer New Member

    hi! another message you might find helpfull. when i first got sick i was in denial then i hit guilt. and i did combat and won. i realized that i had to scale down my life and that it was okay if i didt get everyhting done, and i didnt have to feel bad because i didnt do somehting i wanted to that day. or that i didnt call people, my cousin came down with fibro and other things and went throught the guilt and i told her that if she cant do something dont do it. you will only make yourself feel worse if you dwell on what you cant do. just take it day by day and do what you can that day. as we know we have good days bad days good weeks and bad weeks. and when you feel better dont overdo it because you will pay and pay and pay. and ASK for help. and if you dont get it, fine. we all know that not everyone is there to support you. and so what!! and its okay to say I CANT DO THAT. accept yourself and what is wrong with you does not mean you are giving up it is coming to terms and learning how to cope with your new life. and it will help take the stress away. after dealing with the guilt my cousin felt better about her day to day routine. and if you have to cancel someting, SO WHAT!! if they dont understand, you cant make them. and dont you hate the comments, "try and be more positive" give me a break!! you can be positive and chirpy but that doesnt mean you will feel better, the pain and fatigue will still be there. and those with cfids and fibro i am sure that if you hear one more time "just get some excersize" you feel like smashing something. dont we all know that we get a lot of excersize just doing household things and children and if we do more we will colapse. everyone has a differant level they are dealing with, but the same basics. fibro people do need the excersize but the fatigue and the aftermath is what the fatigue people have enough to cope with in just daily routines. do what you can and it IS enough. you can always push that little extra when you feel it is right for you. GUILT IS THE ENEMY. and so dont let someone guilt you. just keep explaining and if they dont hear what you are saying you cant change that . they have to want to know what you are going through, and those people who dont believe in these illnesses i say SCREW EM!!! there are many illnesses that noone believed in 100years ago even 20 years ago. you know how you feel and that is important. listen to your body and yourself. and be aggressive with your doctors, make it clear what you want them to know.... you are paying them to help you remember! just because they have doctor (MD) attached to them doesnt mean they are the end all be all. if they make sense listen if you dont agree tell them and dont let them bowl you over. and bring information to them, if the doc is good he will listen and use what you give him.or her. i hope this rambling helps. dont lose yourself,
    the person you were to the person you are.
    dacer
  2. kredca4

    kredca4 New Member

    You have a very Postive attutide, and it will serve you well, in your Life with FMS, and any other health conditions you may have.
    I just Love that song, "One Day ata Time", that's the way I live, I'm active and I push myself without going over the limit's that I know I have.

    I have gotten rid of most of the Toxic people in my life, but some just keep slidding under the door anyway, lol.
    Family of course, they are the worst.
    My Problems with my Siblings are for different reason tho. We all have FMS, some of us have MPS and other Orthopedic problems. We fight because of Personal problems, and I keep shuting them out, but being the Head of the Family now, is also a Responsibility I take seriously, but they know I won't help them a second time.
    So far I have cut off completely a Sister that has caused me problems for years, and I find that I can help the other Siblings now without feeling Stressed out. Anger and Resement take a lot out of you.
    What drives my Hubby's family crazy is the fact that I am Me, and I don't change for noone. They are controlling In Laws. But they now live in a different State, what a Blessing.

    Sorry this got long, just wanted to say, I appericate your Wise Post.
    Sincerely
    kredca4/sharon